I’ve got life pretty much together at the mo. I’m a teacher and as of September will be promoted to head of year, which I’m looking forward to. Also, we bought a new house recently and it seems that we are starting to work out marriage issues that were dragging us down.
BUT, I keep feeling it’s not enough. And weirdly, I have created this fantasy life where I am a theatre actor, of all things. In my head, the only thing that is stopping me being really good at it is the fact that I have to dedicate far too much energy to my actual real life.
In reality, it’s because that isn’t my life, it’s a dream. I’m also mid 40s with two kids.
I was a filmmaker for a while after college (corporate training stuff, nothing remotely special) but went into teaching because I wanted stability etc.
And I love it but feel like I have missed my true calling. Literally every film, TV show, play I see, I want to be in.
I think, deep down, it’s a fear of the unknown, new job etc, it’s a psychological thing telling me I am being someone else, but part of me thinks it’s a warning sign to look at pursuing a new career before the added pressure of management makes pursuing out of work interests almost impossible.
Does anyone else have these sorts of dreams/fantasy plans? If so, do you ever act on them or just interpret them to make actual feasible changes in your real life?