To ask who out of all of you are pretending to be happily paired off in a relationship?

[OhioOhioOhio]

And who is desperately praying their relationship turns a corner?

Are you ok OP?

Yep, me.

I’m not so much pretending, but am definitely hoping it turns a corner. Hope yours does too OP

Yep

Are you okay OP?

I'm pretending. Hoping maybe one day it will work out but can't face the upheaval of separation. He mainly works away so we're fine.

I'm okay but definitely wouldn't have been had I stayed.

My friend and her marriage are finished. I'm stunned.

Makes you wonder.

No, I'm single

Well , to try and look at this honestly. I think I understand what you are saying - to some people in my life I look pretty solidly married and I enjoy (not sure that is the right word) the perceived grown -upness it shows to the outside world . To those who know us fairly well , we look well paired and mostly happy. To those who are closest to me - well one or two- they know it's not at all rosy. And generally I feel like it's a prison of my own making , and , taking the dcs out of the equation, I wish I had never embarked on marriage . So it's all about layers of perception I suppose. Are u ok OP? X what can we help with ? Xx

Friend of mine is with her husband because he’s depressed and she doesn’t want to be the bad guy who leaves.

Another friend is dating a lovely, reliable woman who’s the opposite of his glamorous ex wife who was dreadful. He doesn’t fancy her and he loves her as a friend. He feels guilty because it’s unequal. I don’t know what will happen. I think he might end up cheating although he never has before.

Glad you are ok now. I often wonder about other people's marriages. What makes them work ? We never really know and then the people you think are solid are far from it - like your friend. All the world's a stage and all that....😉

Me and DH have peaks and troughs. I never put on a "happy marriage" front though. I don't moan about him to all and sundry either but I won't stand around at the school gates waxing lyrical about what a wonderful marriage we have if it's in the toilet (or even if it's at its best). I'm most suspicious of people who (usually on social media) try to portray the perfect marriage

And there is always an element of brave facery...I think xx

Yes gunpowder- I reckon that's a very savvy way of looking at it . It is ,ultimately a very private thing. Social media kind of pisses on that !

I was, even though I didn't admit it to myself at the time. Only with hindsight since my XH left us have I realised that I was pretending. Lots of people were shocked at our split ("if they can split up anyone can" kind of thing)

Since then I have wondered a lot more about seemingly happy marriages, but as the old saying goes "you never truly know what goes on behind closed doors". I just hope (for them) that the image people portray is genuine.

Yeah I'm totally with Gunpowder too.
We have our highs and I do still fancy him...but omg our lows 🙈...everything about him grinds on me and I could scream (polite version)!
Overall , we have been there for each other through absolutely everything and I would be lost without him and as much as I whinge, I honestly love the man to pieces.