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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not see my dad anymore because of his dogs?

13 replies

gillyanne5 · 04/04/2019 21:56

Or at least refuse to stay in his house?

Long story short. His dogs are untrained. He adores them and they are ever so happy and sweet. Walked for 3 hours a day and have a huge garden. Thing is, they pee in the house... all the time! He's constantly cleaning up after them and there's now a residual smell of urine. Stale dog urine is just vile! I live 300 miles away from my dad. He's rural and there isn't a hotel for 73 miles (that's the nearest one to him). Whenever I raise it with him he gets frustrated and I can see it upsets him. He rescued the dogs and adores them. He's tried to train them but it's not worked. I'm not sure he knows how...

How do I manage this? Not stay with my dad anymore? Or put up with the smell?

I am starting to feel quite ill staying here...

OP posts:
Galaxygirlgo · 04/04/2019 22:02

You could try and show him how to train them correctly so maybe he makes some progress with them, or get a professional (positive method) trainer in who can train him how to train the dogs properly. Dog trainers are really human trainers tbh!

Look for trainers approved/registered with IMDT or The Pet Professional Guild

gillyanne5 · 04/04/2019 22:06

Thanks @Galaxygirlgo

I've had dogs before but always trained them based on a book I bought years ago. It's always worked brilliantly. No pee incidents past puppy age. I gave this to him but it's too late. I don't think he has the energy for it. I hope he will listen but I think he will just get annoyed if I even suggest it. I can raise things really sensitively but he still takes it really personally. Like a criticism.

I just can't stay here anymore... not in a house that just stinks of dog pee!

OP posts:
llangennith · 04/04/2019 22:21

He's quite happy with his dogs so he's probably never going to be arsed to train them. I think the answer is you just don't visit him. He's chosen his dogs over you and yours.

gillyanne5 · 04/04/2019 22:24

I have a tiny baby and I just feel like it's so unsanitary. If my dog peed in my house I would be frustrated but would absolutely do everything I could to stop it happening regularly. It's horrid. But then I would never see him. It's a weird one.

OP posts:
Galaxygirlgo · 04/04/2019 22:34

Sounds difficult! We have an incontinent dog and a cat who then likes to mark where the dog has gone so i get worried our house stinks too. We have carpets and the wood floor we do have in the kitchen is ruined because of it so we are getting vinyl flooring which we have tested for being waterproof and easy to clean to help keep hygenic. Maybe if he hasnt already got something like that it may also help if his dogs cant be trained.

Other than that if its so bad don't to! I know the smell of pee im constantly cleaning gives me a headache. Smelling it constantly cant be good for anyone though!

Skittlesandbeer · 04/04/2019 22:43

I looked up whether there are harmful effects on human health in dog pee. Truthfully I was expecting to see it was sterile and only a stinky issue. But you can catch some nasty bugs from it (although relatively uncommon) and the ammonia can hurt your lungs.

On that basis I’d keep my baby away from the house. Also because I wouldn’t be confident about what other areas of behaviour these dogs were feral in.

It’s a difficult situation, but he needs to sort it out. With help finding a trainer? Before he affects his own health.

AvocadosBeforeMortgages · 06/04/2019 23:59

Regardless of training, part of the issue will be the smell encouraging the dogs to pee in the same location again. The smell can be removed with special enzymatic cleaners. However, as it seems like it's been going on for a long time I'd be encouraging him to replace any carpets with hard surfaces (partly to make it easier to clean, partly so smells don't linger)

Are there any AirBnB nearby? If not would camping in the garden provide a solution to at least give you some respite overnight?

FinnegansWhiskers · 07/04/2019 00:11

YANBU. I have always had dogs. I managed to housetrain them all within a short space of time - even the older dogs I got from rescue centres. I couldn't cope with dogs toileting in the house.

Does your dad attempt to housetrain his dogs? If he does and is failing he needs to call in expert help. I wouldn't take a young child into an environment where there is dogs waste OP. YANBU

Lizzie48 · 07/04/2019 00:19

Yuck! Definitely YANBU, OP. It's no place to take a tiny baby, so what alternative is there? Hopefully, that will concentrate his mind; if he wants to see you and his DGC, then hopefully he'll put the work into training his dogs.

Thadeus · 07/04/2019 00:30

Take a tent!

greenlynx · 07/04/2019 00:37

I don’t think YABU. I wouldn’t go, I might go for a day but very occasionally.
Could you invite him over to yours and offer to pay for tickets?

BadPennyNoBiscuit · 07/04/2019 00:44

Yanbu, but it might not be just a training problem; they may have low estrogen incontinence, bladder problems or a UTI. All the dogs need to see a vet.

Fishcakey · 07/04/2019 00:46

Agree with consulting a vet but back to basics; puppy pads - contain the wee!

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