Or has childminder behaved badly?

[Cheeseandapple]

I've had a verbal agreement with a childminder that my DD would be with her from late April until Sept, when another child (a sibling of one of her current charges) would be taking the spot. I knew and understood this and made plans accordingly. I cancelled the nursery spot I had booked and stopped looking for childcare as I thought we had a bit of time before I'd need to look again.

Weve done settling in days and I've got the contract signed and ready to return.

She called me earlier this week to tell me that the parent had asked to start their child the same week as my DD and she'd given her the spot. Leaving me with three weeks notice to desperately try to figure out alternative childcare for my return to work. (posted in chat about this earlier this week). She said that regardless of our verbal agreement, 'in the childminding world, current parent always take priority' ie because the other parent had a child with her already, she would always have been able to take that spot for her second DC.

Is this right? I'm so upset and angry with her and can't see past my rage but everyone I've spoken to said that seems bizarre but I've no experience of 'the childminding world'.

I'd say once the contract was signed and deposit paid, the place was yours and you should have been given contractual notice. Slightly grey area if you hadn't actually done the contract yet though.

I do understand her wanting to prioritise an existing customer, but she hasn't behaved well towards you at all.

That is very bad luck, so stressful for you to have to sort new childcare at short notice. Unfortunately there is nothing you can do, if there is no signed contract the childminder is not obliged to take your child despite saying she would.

I hope it works out for the best for you.

I've just posted on your other thread!

Well she's let you down. I'd be furious too, and upset for my child if she's let her do the pre visits.

I'd be telling anyone who was asking about local childminders exactly what she'd done, to warn them.

What's she's done isn't very good but seem as you hadn't signed or paid for anything she is well within her rights and from her POV if she didn't give the other child the place she would lose the first child and then been down on children and money so I can see why she's done it even though it's shit for you.

Legally you don't always need a written contract to have a 'contract' - though the writing helps to clarify if it comes to court. If she's accepted your deposit and done settling in days she's on shaky ground. However I can't see the benefit of pursuing her - agree with others about just getting your money back, sharing the news with other parents.

I'm clueless about how Ofsted works, but is it the kind of thing you could report? It is certainly acting in bad faith

If a parent wanted to reserve a place I would ask for half the weekly fees to be paid until the place was taken up.

Ofsted don't care about contract disputes.

OP had signed the contract just hasn't returned it. What is the notice period on the contract OP?

YANBU

She has behaved badly.

I understand where she's coming from and this does happen in childcare (I'm a nanny and it's the same!). But it's not fair.

I would be very annoyed in your shoes.

Did she make you aware of her "priority policy" at any point before this?

Ah this is really tricky! I do sympathise with you both.
When you take new parents on things don’t always work out, so allowing you to take the place is a gamble that things might not work out... you might not even return the contract as far as she knows (this has happened to me before!). Also, it means that she would have to do 6 months ish of paperwork, planning, developmental paperwork, risk assessments etc for a child who was only staying 5/6 months, when she could just fill the space straight away with a long term child.
She is right than in the childcare word you prioritise your current customers. But also you prioritise permanent customer rather than short term ones like yourself. The other families circumstances have obviously changed so they now need childcare. If your childminder said tough luck and gave you the place, they risk losing the other mindee as well as their sibling if they both go elsewhere. It is very difficult to strike the balance between protecting your business and protecting your reputation and morality.

She had two options:
The potentially morally correct thing of going with you as you had already accepted the place and risk losing not one but two mindees. Then when you leave in September she could have two spaces to fill, which could be catastrophic on a childminder’s wage. You might not have returned the contract after all, or you might have decided 3 weeks in that the childminder wasn’t for you/ your child and left. She also has a lot of extra work to do to take you on for 5/6 months.
Option 2:
Take on a permanent mindee from a family she already knows, trusts and has a relationship with. No financial risk, no extra work. Risks upsetting one person she doesn’t know.

I’m sorry, I really am. It’s a shit situation you’re in. But this is her livelihood. And sometimes we have to prioritise our own families above others.

Also, Ofsted wouldn’t be one bit bothered in a contractual dispute and as someone who puts my life and soul into my work, I find it really upsetting for Ofsted reporting to be taken so lightly. You ring Ofsted for SERIOUS safeguarding concerns. What previous poster suggests is a bit like ringing social services because you had an argument with a mum at the school gate.

It's a nightmare for you. From her perspective if she said no to this other parent she faces losing them to another setting and they'd most likely move both children. It sounds like a business decision. It's really unfair but I imagine this was a surprise to her and she had to work out the best option for herself for the future. I sympathise though, you're in a horribly stressful position now and I hope you find a new arrangement!