To wish my family wouldn't dump it all on me?

[yearinyearout]

Whenever there's a birthday or anniversary coming up my family will ring/text me suggesting things, but expect me to sort it all out/pay up front because I'm the oldest of four siblings. Last week it was my DB ringing me to suggest something for dm's birthday later in the year..."but can you look into it as I'm crap on the internet". This week dsis has text me to suggest sending the parents somewhere for their anniversary and can I see which would be the best place and she will give me the money if I get them a voucher. It's doing my head in! I've actually text her back saying "whatever you think is fine, let me know and I'll send you the money" and I just know she will he calling me a grumpy cow behind my back for not wanting to get involved!

Keep saying no

Crap on the internet? How old is your db? He means he thinks it's woman's work.

What shox said. Wilfully forget or misunderstand and once the first event passes by and nothing's happened it will become clear you're serious.

You'll have to sit on your hands though.

Sounds like DB needs to start practising using the internet, he'll soon get the hang of it.

If there's 4 of you, obvious thing would be to take turns, or if you always do joint presents/meals out, share out birthday, wedding anniversary, mother's day, father's day, Christmas etc and each take responsibility for one event each.

As this bothers you, you really do need to talk to all your siblings about it. I would just telephone each (not text) and explain the responsibility always falling on you is too stressful and that you all need to take it in turns to organise these things. As you've done it so many times then someone else needs to start off the rota for the next event.

It doesn't need to cause a family problem. If you don't tell them they might think that you enjoy doing it as you are so good at it (and then let you continue).

Delegate to the next sibling in the line? Remind them you did everything last year. Fairs fair.

whatever you think is fine, let me know and I'll send you the money"

Good for you. Keep repeating with every new suggestion.

Buy DB an internet course for his birthday or tell him the Library does them.

Continue with the passing it back or just forget to do it.

Devise a rota and ensure everyone has a turn. Ignore requests for help.