Being called a martyr

[Sunbo]

My MIL called me a martyr, aibu to be offended?

She said I am a martyr because I don’t do anything for myself, don’t have any interests/hobbies. My main focus is my family.

I have 2 young boys (2 and 6) who keep me very busy and I have a part time job.

I have never really had hobbies tho, just that before kids it was easier to go out for meals, drinks, cinema etc. I am happy in my marriage and so don’t complain about my life, but her comments have made me realise that I do prioritise my kids over anything else and spend most of my time trying to do the best for them....is this wrong? Does this make me a martyr?

I do feel my life revolves around my children to some extent but I honestly thought that this is just how it is when you become a mum and certainly with young children who can be quite demanding. I feel annoyed with myself that her comments are now making me question how I am living my life and if I am a ‘martyr’.

Your MIL is being made to feel guilty by her own conscience. Carry on as you were OP.

Your DC are so young and it goes by so quickly. Plenty of time for other things when they naturally start to do things away from you.

As long as you are happy, that's all that matters.

When i look at my B/SIL their DD is 16 now and off doing her own thing, it seems like 5 minutes ago that she was tiny and the centre of their lives. Now they've definitely got their freedom back and spending more time on their own hobbies and interests.

My two are both young, it won't last and I'm just enjoying this time of my life. MIL doesn't understand why me and DH don't leave the kids with her more often and do things on our own. Well, we lead busy lives and love our weekends with the kids.

I often think people who make these comments are battling with their own consciences and how much time they spent/spend with their own children.

Mine too!
However, after taking care of her son and our family, her family including her son, my ex DH, I'm now a vindictive cold bitch coz I couldn't stand his abuse anymore.
When I asked her for help the response was: well we all say things in anger!:
I have never called anyone a c^nt!

Funny how the term 'martyr' has become so badly maligned. Actual martyrs, in the historic sense, really were not the complaining types at all.

@colehawlins has clearly hit the nail right on the head. Therefore you have carte blanche to ignore your MIL and her unasked for opinions.

From what you have said then no you aren’t. If you complained constantly and made out you were so hard done by, then l would be tempted to say yes

A friend of mine is martyr as she moans about stuff constantly. E.g. husband never gets up in the night with their children -for clarity they both work full time. Claims it’s impossible to watch TV once you have children etc