Here or not?

[racingdays]

My boyfriend has a motorbike but he isn't safe on it at all.
He had a crash a year ago and was VERY lucky.
He hasn't been on it for 8 months and every time he went out on it,I was ill with worry,shaking and constantly checking my phone thinking the worst.
I'm going away for the weekend with my friend and I asked how he was going to entertain himself.
He said he was taking the bike out.
I said why when he hasn't bothered for months.
He said il take it out whenever I want it's my life and my bike.
I don't wana go away now because I will worry and won't enjoy myself.
All the days /months yet he specifically does it when I'm away and he knows what my anxiety is like.
He knows I've been looking forward to going away
Aibu here

If he's intent on driving it there's nothing you can do. You being at home shaking and worrying isn't going to change a thing. Go, enjoy yourself, I understand your worry and it's a valid one but his safety and that of other drivers on the road should be his priority and not yours.

Suggest extra lessons, too. If he knows he is unsafe and has had a close call before, he should be willing. If not then you can't reason with stupid I'm afraid 🤷🏻‍♀️

He just speeds too fast and is just a fool.
I think he's just doing it to spite me because I'm going away.

I’m sorry but your anxiety isn’t his responsibility.
If he’s seriously unsafe then it’s his own life he’s putting at risk. But I’m presuming he has a licence, is a grown adult and is legal to ride? In which case you can’t stop him.

I do understand it's a worry to you but on the other hand i have an issue with people trying to control each other by telling them what they can/can't do. Ultimately it's his life. Put the other way round how would you feel if he didn't want you to go away for the weekend with your friend?

YANBU but in reality there's nothing you can do. He will see it as you controlling him. Am sure you've sat down and voiced your concerns. What else can you do? You can't exactly issue an ultimatum, can you?
My guess is he is cruelly winding you up and he probably has no intention of going out on his bike.

He doesn't sound very nice, OP, either to you or to the general public. Are you happy with him?

Does he know you are thinking of not going away? Is he trying to stop you or at least spoil your weekend? It seems a bit odd to say that now if hes not ridden it for 8 months. If you suspect this is the case could you hid/take the keys? That way you can enjoy your weekend and not worry.
However If you go away quite a bit and it is not usually an issue with him then I think you need to rein the anxiety in a bit and enjoy yourself.

What if the role was reversed and bread asking you to give up something you liked?

My do has a bike and while I done particularly like it, he is a grown up and can decide his own fate. Maybe you should tackle your anxiety

Your BF sounds like a dick. And I sincerely hope if he does go out on it he doesn't injure anyone else on the road.

He had a crash. How many times did he ride with no crashes before that? Would you stop him driving if he had a car crash? I doubt it.

Could you ask him not to tell you if he's going out on his bike in future?

He had only been riding 4-5 months before the crash.
Showing off with his friends (at 33)
I don't care what he does or where he goes as long as he is safe.
We never tell each other what to do,I'm just scared he's going to crash again.

@Banhaha I would prefer not to know tbh