To ask about your worst relationship

[MamaBear8686]

Pointless thread really but just wondering what people's worse relationships consisted of and what lessons they learnt from it.

For me I had a fairly brief fling with someone who I now see was very abusive and had a lot of issues. Started off quite causal as friends and escalated. He was very funny and easy to talk to but also incredibly selfish and spoilt. If he wanted something he would be so abusive and continually pester like a child until he got it. If he wanted something and I didn't want to do it then my heart would sink when he'd text me because I knew deep down I'd give in for a quiet life. He'd say things like 'if you don't let me see you tonight I will be very unhappy' and I'd end up giving in.... I have no idea why I didn't just say 'well be unhappy and piss off then!' It just felt easier to comply.

When we first started seeing each other I'd had a tough time with some family issues and he knew about it all and promised he wouldn't mess me about and add to my problems but in hindsight all he ever gave me was drama and stress. I was continually blocked and unblocked on social media. He'd get angry about me having male friends but eventually it transpired that he'd been texting and sleeping with other people the whole time we'd been seeing each other.

Eventually one day after a particularly vicious row I just thought I've had enough and blocked him. He found ways to contact me to give me horrendous abuse for a few weeks before he gave up and haven't heard anything since. He was a complete narcissist- nothing was ever his fault. Even when I found out about the other women he still tried to blame it on me.

So yeah although not as bad as some people's experience it was pretty horrific. It did make me realise never to be so naive again and don't put up with shit from anyone whether that's manipulation or outright abuse.

Worst, was learning not to trust so much. Person I was dating was just using me as a "beard", dating me as acceptable while they snuck around with the person they wanted who was deemed by family as unacceptable. They said and did all the right things but didn't mean any of it - they just wanted to keep things going as it was working out so well for them!

100% my ex-husband. He made all of my other relationships look pretty good tbh! I think my biggest lesson was never again to get involved with a man with money.

I'm getting married again next year but happily, although fiance works ft, he is definitely not wealthy 😊

Ahh yes have also had dealings with men and money that have been good learning curves. Gambling, debts, trying to help the wrong people and getting burnt financially in the process 🤦🏻‍♀️

I was in a domestic violence relationship from the age of 18 for a few years.Even when not beating me up the others things he did would be horrible,if I didnt laugh along he would get angry saying I couldnt take a joke.....and now I have wound him up ....

Horrible nasty person. He is now in his 50s ,single,broke and not in good health.He has never married or had children......it feels good to think he will be a sad lonely all man.

I've learnt never to help a man in financial difficulty. They never did learn their lesson about dealing with money, and their issues became mine. Never again. Financial independence is essential, and I'll never bail a man out. If a man can't be responsible for his own money, that's not my problem.

Never get involved with anyone with an addiction. It's not worth the heartache.

If someone shows/tells you who they are, BELIEVE THEM.

If someone cheats, don't forgive. I don't believe people change in this respect, and better to walk away with your self-esteem and values intact.

I was in an abusive relationship. I received abuse of every kind. I was very depressed and vulnerable when the relationship started. My friends abandoned me because It would ruin their night out if I got beaten up, these are the same people that encouraged me into the relationship in the first place. In the end I started hiding money, and when I had enough I moved out without telling him. Never looked back since.

I now struggle to make friends. But I learnt that I am worth a lot more than I thought. I also learnt not to get into a relationship while feeling depressed and vulnerable

As a young 20-something, an EA shithead who was insanely jealous and would call me every single week right before I went out to a regular club I'd been in long before I met him, to accuse me of only going to pick up the men who would be there. He'd put me in tears every single week about that. He also put me in debt when he was working FT and I was a student.

He gaslit me and made me doubt my own sanity and when we broke up, continued to hassle me so much I eventually moved overseas to get away from him (pre SM days so I was gone gone, thank god.)

going against the original question but will post so its something nice to read along the way

ive only ever had the 1(20 years in November)he was 17 me 18 and each others only sexual partner

started living together at 19/20

never had any problems and we have always been happy from day 1

we do have a hard life as kids need 24 hour supervision/care due to disabilities and no outside help from family or professionals and we suffered from infertility for years(severe PCOS and no periods and 2nd baby took 4 years of fertility tablets)but have 2 kids now

being together all day every day we do have niggles but never argue

ive never even had a parent in law problem as mil has been like a second mother to me

Was with someone who threatened to kill themselves all the time, got mad if I didn't want to chat for 5million hours on the phone/ring at the time initially agreed (shift ran late/I was tired), EVERYTHING was my fault, drinker, horrible to his female family members, massive hypocondriac and an essential drain on my mental health to the point I had to see a mental health team after I finally managed to break free from him (tried before but he then threatened to kill himself so I backtracked). Took some cbt and good support network to see myself right again.

Someone else's problem now id imagine.