To ask why people sit in reserved seats?

[Leftoverdessert]

I absolutely hate train travel for this reason. I get that if the seat is reserved from a particular station and you haven't reached it yet and are ready to get up, fair enough, but the route I go on fairly regularly it happens to me almost every time - I book a seat and someone's sitting in it. I triple check always that I have the right seat but it's always so awkward to ask them to move as often they seem to get huffy or try to dispute it! They often also seem to scatter their things everywhere which makes me think they're just hoping the person won't turn up or will feel bad when they see they're looking so settled in.

This morning, I honestly couldn't be bothered for the scene as the woman in my booked seat had stuff everywhere and seemed to be asleep to boot, so now I'm just stood up feeling all annoyed. I hate confrontation and just can't be bothered for it first thing in the morning.

If I see a seat is reserved, I don't sit on it - why oh why do people do this??

The people in our reserved seats got a nasty shock when we turned up, I was a parent helper on my ds school trip, there was 60 year 2’s plus adults. So they all had to get up and move to another carriage, hopefully it would make them think twice before doing it again. I’m sure a few more fled the carriage once the kids started singing Christmas carols.

I always have reserved seats, about 50% of the time I don't use them because I end up taking a different train.

You've got to develop a thicker hide and ask people to move, they are only in the wrong if they refuse.

I hate the huffy ness as well - but I do get why people sit in them when trains are really busy especially if they got on much earlier.

Sometimes people sit elsewhere or get a different train - sometimes not their fault with connection - though I do try and avoid them.

Sometimes the reservation system is not working - problem on one line we were on last year a lot and didn't announce it till after pulling out the station - that caused a lot of arguments.

starts saying they need 'proof' see I understand that as well - as I've seen so many and also had people claiming we are in their seats - impossible because we or others had actually reserved the seats – and it turns out they are in the wrong carriage.

When we had very young children we were crowded onto our three reserved seats – two on our laps – and we had a very aggressive woman say we were in their seats – we showed proof they were ours. She got a guard – who spent ages explaining to her that her train was previous one and had been cancelled and no they didn’t transfer seat reservation over because other people had booked on the next train– she didn’t believe him and spent rest of journey staring daggers at us and muttering.

The ones that I worry about are the people who refuse to move – I haven’t had that happen yet to us but I’m increasingly seeing it occur and often guards don’t want to get involved.

It does make train travel more stressful for me.

The system encourages people to reserve seats and then not use them. Hence lots of reserved seats, only some taken.

If I haven't got a reservation which is often as I'm not sure when I'll leave a meeting, then I'd always take a non-reserved seat first or one where the destination hasn't been reached yet. If the train starts to move, it's packed and there's a few reserved seats left, I'd sit in one and so do most people- because by then most of the people who have reserved and are genuinely showing up will have done so.

The system encourages reservations without showing and so given the trains are packed, people sit there.

I haven't found people get huffy but then I don't care telling them this is my seat, or if someone does it to me. The vast majority of the people on the train understand we operate in a bizarre system and so are happy to move when asked, I honestly haven't seen one person refuse but I don't travel on commuter trains.

I've enjoyed reading the assertive challenges and love, love the idea of my inner middle class matron

OP it's really hard to be assertive especially in public and even more so when you have no idea how the other person will react. I get that. I would rather shit in my hands and clap than challenge a stranger. But occasionally when it matters to me I have to do it. And I probably have a slightly shaky voice, hand tremors, my neck face and chest will go scarlet. And after my knees will shake and I'll feel a bit sick but I know this is just adrenaline and will pass. Coz sometimes idiots need calling out. And since becoming mum to DD I feel a responsibility to model this for her now too.

So yes, Inner Middle Clasd Matron pants on and remember anyone in earshot will be doing a little air punch for you!

"When we had very young children we were crowded onto our three reserved seats – two on our laps – and we had a very aggressive woman say we were in their seats – we showed proof they were ours. She got a guard – who spent ages explaining to her that her train was previous one and had been cancelled and no they didn’t transfer seat reservation over because other people had booked on the next train– she didn’t believe him and spent rest of journey staring daggers at us and muttering. "

This is why we need to support the guards' strike. We need guards in trains.

Pretend you can't find your seat and enlist the guard to help you. He'll do the shifting for you.

Lots of people don’t bother turning up to sit on the reserved seats. I reserved table seats once from London to Leeds with my DC but only needed three seats so one was reserved for someone else. They didn’t turn up so we used it, if they had turned up I’d have made sure we shuffled up to accommodate but they didn’t so 🤷🏻‍♀️.

You're being too polite OP.

"You are in the seat I have reserved".

And stare. No please or thank you, or excuse me.

They're the ones in the wrong not you. And more fool you to stand when you've booked a seat.

It's a challenge on busy trains. For example, Manchester to Leeds. I book an anytime return to give me flexibility over when i travel (I'm not a commuter FYI). But I am allowed to book a seat on a specific train. My intention is always to get my train that I have booked a reservation on, but if I'm held up then the train will run and my "reserved" seat won't be occupied by me. I have no way of telling the train company, and why should someone stand if there is a free seat? So naturally, people will sit in reserved seats hoping that the reserver doesn't turn up because quite often they don't.

If someone is sat in my reserved seat I will always, without exception, ask them to move. I do it politely and have never had an issue. To be fair, I always expect someone will sit in reserved seats and I don't mind as long as they move. If you don't ask them to move how will they know you have turned up to claim it?

The best way would be fully electronic seat reservations that update real time so people could cancel their reservations and it could remind people as the train pulls into each station that the seat is reserved and they may need to vacate if they haven't booked it.

And stare. No please or thank you, or excuse me

They're the ones in the wrong not you

If you were that rude I would still move...however it would take me a lot longer to move...

I'm not in the wrong for taking a seat that might or might not be taken

Butchyrestingface

Im a female and slight mid forties and wont take this type of entitled rude behavior anymore from anyone. Quite feisty when I'm 100% correct :-0)

Hollycat, I travel on that route and have probably sat in some of your reserved seats :)

An option for commuters to reserve would be great - I get 2 trains a day on the same route at the same times, and having the extra predictability of ‘my’ booked seat would actually help a lot (I have autism - a disability where you don’t need a seat by the door, but a seat somewhere really helps)

You didn't wake the womanso as far as she knows the booking person didn't turn up so she will do it again

I wouldn't sit in a reserved seat.
I agree that the conductor should have sorted it for you.
I expect the woman was pretending to be asleep so she could get away with it - which she did!

Have you seen how many people fail to take up those reservations? It's a LOT! Just smile and say "I'm terribly sorry, but that's my seat".

"This is why we need to support the guards' strike. We need guards in trains."

Absolutelyfuckinglutely.

The behaviour of people on trains is absolutely disgraceful.

If no one ever sat in a reserved seat that wasn't theirs, each train would consist of one carriage of unreserved seating with every seat taken, 3 carriages of fully reserved seats with only 25% of the seats occupied, and every available inch of standing-room packed with people with no reservation for that train (many of whom will have a reservation on a different train albeit with a flexible ticket but decided to get a different train) - and there would be so many standing that those who did have reservations would have no hope of ever getting to their seat through the crush. It would be utterly ridiculous.

The vast majority of reserved seats are never claimed. It is an entirely reasonable gamble to assume it's OK to sit in a reserved seat. It is entirely reasonable to say to such a person "excuse me, that's my reserved seat" and if you can't cope with the emotional fallout from detecting that they are disappointed that their gamble was unsuccessful then that shows a startling lack of resilience on your part and you need to work on that. If they are actively arsey and resistant then they are nasty people. Pretty rare and certainly never sensible to assume this will happen. Being able to live with the fact that there are nasty people in the world without letting that fact stop you from behaving reasonably may also be something you need to work on.

To be fair though, like others have said, quite often people will reserve a seat and then not use it. For example, whenever we take the kids for a trip to London, we'll book off-peak tickets and reserve a seat - but then quite often we'll end up going home on an earlier/later train which means we don't use our reserved seats.

If I'm on a train and it's packed and the only empty seats are reserved, I'll sit in them. What's the point of standing the whole way when the seats might not even get used? But if someone comes along who has reserved the seats, I will always happily move, and I'd never get huffy about it. That's just being a bit of a dick really.

If someone was in your seat and you didn't ask them to move - it's kind of your fault (sorry). I used to let it go and just stand/find another seat but I think I've become more of a bitch assertive as I've got older and now I always ask them to move.

Do you know what REALLY annoys me though. Bags on seats! When you're walking through a packed carriage, there's people stood up, and then you realise half the seats are taken up by people's bloody bags! And they just carry on sitting there, taking up the seat next to them with their bag, looking at all the people stood up with no seats. Now THAT is rude.

If the train's not crowded, I just sit anywhere, unless it really is poshly "reserved". Also, its sometimes only reserved for part of the journey.
But I am always happy to move and am v apologetic .

Just say "sorry, that's my seat". Not confrontational and I've not been refused yet.

I’ve never had a problem getting the person to move. Maybe I just look scary.

If you hate confrontation, make the biggest smile ever, but stand your ground. Be so apologetic and with so many thank yous, plus keep touching their arm in such a friendly manner, that they will seem utterly unreasonable not to let you have your (own) seat. Offer to help them find their reserved seat.
Make up something about needing to sit exactly there and not wanting to make a mess of other people's seating. Also mention your bad back and possibility of being sick (all over the seated person) if having to stand up.
Keep smiling and keep touching them.

Just don't let it pass.

Wow. I’d offer to sit on their lap if they didn’t move. With the full intention of doing it.