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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think there is nothing wrong with proving it wasn’t my mistake

37 replies

Pantone333 · 02/04/2019 20:01

I came into work today and another colleague slipped over to tell me I’d made a mistake booking a client in on the wrong day but it didn’t matter and it had all been sorted.

I asked for some more details and she just waved it off and said oh it’s fine it’s all sorted now.

But I knew I hadn’t made a mistake. I don’t make mistakes like that. I know I don’t becuase I double and triple check to make sure I don’t.

When I looked into it a bit more I realised someone had edited the calendar to cover in their initial mistake thereby making it look like I had made the mistake.

I saw colleague again this afternoon and told her that it wasn’t actually me. She got all short with me and said “gosh it’s really not a big deal, you don’t need to waste time trying to investigate and prove you don’t make mistakes Pantone” said with a head tilt and an eye roll

Was I being over the top? Should I just have let it go?

OP posts:

Justabadwife · 02/04/2019 20:08

I don't think YABU, and over the top OP.
Something happened to me at work, where they said something I had put on the computer had the wrong description (eg wrong colour) therefore making it difficult to find, I knew that I'd put it in right description, so I went and found it and asked them what part of it was wrong. They soon backtracked 🤔

If you are wrong, take it and apologise, no body is perfect but if you are not wrong, why be blamed for something that is not your mistake.

DisplayPurposesOnly · 02/04/2019 20:08

Yes, a bit. It wasn't a major mistake, the world didn't end. I can see that you wanted to check for yourself (which to be fair I probably would've done too).

someone had edited the calendar to cover in their initial mistake thereby making it look like I had made the mistake

If I thought that person had done that deliberately (to make me look bad), I'd explain to them quite firmly that's not acceptable.

It's OK to make mistakes. It's how you deal with them that counts. (Disclaimer: excludes brain surgery and nuclear rocket launchers.)

Minttea2 · 02/04/2019 20:08

No, YANBU, I would be the same. Maybe your colleague made the mistake and was trying to doubly cover up...

MulticolourMophead · 02/04/2019 20:09

Actually, YANBU. Having previously been in an office where backstabbing was common, I always made sure stuff I did was well documented.

It's the fact that someone was trying to hide their own mistake that I'd document as well, you don't know if they've done anything else.

TellerTuesday4EVA · 02/04/2019 20:10

No YANBU, I would totally do this. If I'm wrong I will willing admit it but if I know I'm not I would be want to prove so.

PinkiOcelot · 02/04/2019 20:12

No. I would be the same. Why should you have a mistake against you when you didn’t make it. It was probably her who fell over herself to tell you that you’d made a mistake.

I’m so glad I’m crap at clearing out my emails!

BlackeyedGruesome · 02/04/2019 20:16

Definitely get it in an email that the calendar has been edited and that you originally booked it for ....

Experience tells me that being able to say I have proof is always a good thing.

OoohAyyye · 02/04/2019 20:20

Good on you. I'd have done (or at least wanted to) the same thing.

Mumminmum · 02/04/2019 20:21

I bet dear colleague is the guilty party.

C0untDucku1a · 02/04/2019 20:23

No the other person was trying to make a point about you. Undeservedly. Id bave followed uo with an email, with the evidence, and copied in all concerned

CurlyhairedAssassin · 02/04/2019 20:27

I don’t trust people who tried to hide their mistakes. Not at all. Someone sent round a spreadsheet at work once and there seemed to be some information missing on it. I phoned her to ask if she was aware and all she needed to do was say “whoops, thanks for letting me know, i’ll change it now”. I was doing her a favour really as it was better than someone more senior picking her up on it in my opinion. Bht instead she tried to make out it was all there. So I was doubting myself, and then when I refreshed the file a few minutes later it was obvious that she had edited the spreadsheet since my phone call.

I don’t care about mistakes or think less of people because of them because we’re all human. But the minute I know that someone has tried to cover up a mistake I instantly lose all trust in them because I wonder how many times they’ve done it, or else not managed to cover it up and blame someone else. And really it’s just blatant dishonesty and I despise that.

CSIblonde · 02/04/2019 20:39

It depends on your offices culture. I worked in a place where people actively altered stuff & denied stuff to get you in trouble. I started writing a completion date & time next to every task on my to do list & confirming conversations agreed outcomes by email. If you can't send a shared (editable) diary slot to yourself as a meeting invite you accept, screenshot it as proof it was made.

RB68 · 02/04/2019 20:41

might be a small thing this time but won't be next.

chinam · 02/04/2019 20:46

YANBU. Also, if your colleague really thought it was no big deal, why did she highlight it to you in the first place...

SnapesGreasyHair · 02/04/2019 20:51

I wouldn't let it go either. No way will l be blamed for others mistakes i'm perfectly capable of making my own and thing's like these mistakes are remembered and could be a deal breaker later on for senior management decisions.

Bravelurker · 02/04/2019 20:52

I would have done the same and I work somewhere, where they operate a no blame culture.
But if someone took the time to point it out to me then I would take the time to investigate and challenge.

EKGEMS · 02/04/2019 21:20

I feel your pain-Sunday I had two colleagues lie and scapegoat me and I haven't been so discouraged leaving work in a very long time,OP.

TheDarkPassenger · 02/04/2019 21:29

You did right to nip this in the bud. I’ve just spent the last few months trying to deal with someone constantly trying to blame me for every single mistake. Luckily my manager knew better!

SnowWhitesRestingBitchFace · 02/04/2019 21:30

I don't thing YWBU at all. In fact I would be wondering why if it wasn't a big deal it was even brought up in the first place. Sounds as if they were caught out.

Miljah · 02/04/2019 22:37

I am a HCP in a unit which has filled its gaping staff shortages, recently, with, IMO unqualified overseas 'qualified' people.

I am sick to death of managers and medics walking into our unit, looking around, spotting the two or three 'original' employees, among 5 or 6 incomers, and targeting us with criticism, disregarding the equally paid new staff.

So I put aside a few minutes every day to remove my name from the 'operator' record for each patient encounter where I wasn't actually in the unit, but where my name has been gaily added, or, maybe, more fairly, not deleted if I did the morning's sign ins (as they are incapable of logging onto our systems), thus my name appears as the first operator as a default.

Otherwise I could end up standing next to them in the dock.

So, though it makes me deeply uncomfortable, if someone comes in 'questioning' something someone in the unit has done, I will direct them to the responsible person. Which isn't necessarily me.

A disclaimer, I have sympathy for the newbies, completely out of their depth (less so those who have lied about their qualifications, but were perhaps happily amazed at not being called out by the HCPC...), but I can't train them all, but nor will I take legal responsibility for their ineptitude.

Aquamarine1029 · 02/04/2019 22:46

I would feel exactly as you do. I have absolutely no problem admitting to my mistakes but there's no way I will allow myself to be thrown under the bus when I KNOW I've done nothing wrong.

Dieu · 02/04/2019 23:01

I would be exactly the same, and find things like this a bit hard to just let go
I absolutely hate people thinking I made a mistake when I didn't. not helped by having perfectionist and people pleasing tendencies

powershowerforanhour · 02/04/2019 23:08

YANBU. As Chinam said, if it was so not a big deal and all sorted, why did she bother bringing it up?

I agree with a PP who likes to leave a paper trail and now you know to watch her particularly...send an internal email next time for example (when she's out of the office) rather than just explaining verbally.

You could also discuss at the next meeting discussing protocols/SOPs ways to avoid correctly- booked appointments such as you made getting accidentally on purpose dumped/moved if there is a calendar change.

MsChicken · 02/04/2019 23:38

I have to work with someone who goes through phases of very heavy handedly pointing out other's 'mistakes', which they do verbally, via emails copied in to others and notes left on desks. Every time it happens it turns out that they've cocked something up but no one knows (yet). They don't try and blame anyone for what they've done, instead they try to deflect the attention away or bring others down to their level by making them look crap. I hate it. I always make sure people know I haven't made a mistake.

Yabbers · 03/04/2019 00:03

If it wasn’t a big deal, she shouldn’t have mentioned it to you, and I’d have said so with an identical head tilt and eye roll.

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