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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you work if you didn’t have to ?

265 replies

Inliverpool1 · 02/04/2019 19:08

Not as in won the lottery but as in it wouldn’t change your world beyond adult company and a bit of a life outside the house ?

OP posts:
BlueSkiesLies · 03/04/2019 09:49

Yes. But not full time. Probably 3 days a week.

You need a LOT of money to be able to fill your life to such an extent that work doesn't give you anything.

snowone · 03/04/2019 10:02

I would maybe do some volunteering a couple of days a week - but I would happily never work full time again! Grin

mrsk28 · 03/04/2019 10:19

No but I would need something that would offer me a routine to keep me going mentally. Would probably do a course/study, even part time.

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 03/04/2019 11:07

Yes. But I'd reduce to 0.2 FTE rate so I could expend the majority of my time on original research. I have several big ongoing projects which will take years to complete, and the thought of doing that in a shorter timescale would be very tempting! I could also take up my art again (strictly hobby, not 'career'), which I currently don't have time to do, and might even put some voluntary time in for the local wildlife trust.

Keeping mentally alert and practising the creativity I love is my life, not really something I see as a 'job' at all. It's something I choose and I'd never voluntarily give it up!

ThomasShelbysBunnet · 03/04/2019 11:11

Yes, and I do. My dh earns a good wage and I stayed at home for many years with the dc.
However, now they are at school, I love going to work. Don't get me wrong, it can be a bit of a stress to come home and all the things I used to do during the day are still sitting there waiting to be done, but I wouldn't change it.
I love going out to work now, and the extra cash is just a bonus really. If however I changed my mind tomorrow, I could cut my hours or give it up completely.

forsucksfake · 03/04/2019 11:13

Yes, I would love to be self-employed. I do better emotionally when I have structure, routine, and a tangible purpose.

RussellSprout · 03/04/2019 11:33

What I have found in my life, and I can't be the only one, is that free time is only really valuable/worthwhile when not all one's time is free.

I recently decided to quit a new job after christmas, I didn't go back and I remember someone saying to me how great it must be not to have to go back after new year when everyone had January blues, and I thought no not really, I have all this time to fill now, stretching out endlessly whilst I look for a new job, what on earth am I going to do with myself (other than job hunt)?

Its different when you have a defined period of time off, eg a fortnight's break, and you can decide how to structure your time.

I think many of these saying 'hell no' have perhaps not had an extended period off work for a long time. I think getting the balance of time 'off' vs time 'on' is very tricky and too far in either direction is not great.

I guess part time work is the holy grail.

KitKat1985 · 03/04/2019 11:35

I think I'd need to do something mentally stimulating that involved getting me out with other people or else I'd get bored. Wouldn't do my current job though (NHS nurse). Maybe some voluntary work or some educational courses instead?

AProphecyForAFantasy · 03/04/2019 11:36

Yes. I do Blush

KitKat1985 · 03/04/2019 11:37

I should add that I had a year off work with each of my maternity leaves, and it's absolute bliss not to have to work... for a few months. Then the boredom starts to set in and every day starts to turn into ground-hog day.

outpinked · 03/04/2019 11:44

I think I’d run a business or become an author, even if I didn’t sell anything. The business wouldn’t be a massive money maker since I wouldn’t need the money, it would just be something that brought me joy.

I couldn’t do nothing all day, it would drive me stir crazy.

Sladurche · 03/04/2019 12:03

Yes! I feel very strongly about this, so forgive the blunt response. I have two lovely DDs. I also have a great education, a brain and a career and think it would be a complete waste of the investment that my country made in my education to be reduced to a financially-dependent cleaner and child-minder. It reduces my husband to a wage-slave with all the financial stress and burden, says that's he's not as important a parent as I am, and deprives his children of his parenting. It gives an awful example to my DDs (why try to succeed and do your best, when you have to give it up?) and it also helps perpetuate the stereotype of women not being a reliable employee (and keeps that wage gap and lack of flexible working alive and well). I decided early on (after seeing a few marriages collapse) that I would never allow myself to be financially dependent and (after seeing a few very talented female friends lose their careers and sanity) I'd try and keep my career. My DH and I both work flexibly.

womandear · 03/04/2019 12:18

I don't 'have' to work but I can't imagine being financially kept by someone else, even my gorgeous DW. I also wouldn't want to put that stress and financial pressure on her, that wouldn't be fair. There's no scenario that I can see where both of us don't have to work by the way!
Work gives me a purpose outside of home and family too. So that's why i choose it.

PianoVigilante · 03/04/2019 12:27

Hear hear, Sladurche.

Destiny14 · 03/04/2019 12:29

Yes I would still work. It gives you a sense of identity but I'd only work part time.

I'm as SAHM now, I don't really need to work but I have my own little business that is thriving. I'm in direct sales and it is definitely the way to go in my opinion. I won't say anymore as I know its against the rules but please feel free to message me privately if anyone would like to learn more.

purpleberry11 · 03/04/2019 12:36

A friend of a friend's, won a considerable amount on the lottery a few years back, don't know how much, but definitely millions. She got so bored and lonely after doing all the new things. So much spare time and no pressure to motivate you.
Unless you are a super busy person, then a job can give you a sense of purpose, even if not for the money. Just a routine.

littlepeas · 03/04/2019 12:37

I haven’t worked for over 10 years now - I’ve been a sahm that whole time, dh earns plenty for all of us to have a nice lifestyle. I’m just training to go back, but it is very much something I love and want to do and I will also be able to choose how much or little I do - I think this is a huge luxury tbh, I don’t think I would go back to a daily grind sort of job. That said, I want to be a good influence on my dc, particularly my dd, and also have some financial independence from dh - I’m hugely reliant on him atm (although he is extremely generous and puts no restrictions on my spending).

PenelopeChipShop · 03/04/2019 12:43

This is exactly the scenario I am living in at the moment. I’m very nearly divorced, and my ex earns enough (and the dc are still young enough) that he has to (and is doing,with no argument) pay us enough maintenance that I don’t have to work.

I’m currently not working, but only due to circumstances, not my choice - I was made redundant, then within a few weeks of that happening my mum (my main child care!) got very ill, meaning I can’t work without finding a job and then a nanny (which doesn’t really make sense) plus I have to spend my spare time helping her and my very elderly nan. My youngest isn’t yet in school and has only 6 hours of childcare a week. So although I don’t work, I have very little time to myself and am just as shattered as when I did!

Honestly, yes, I will choose to work again when I have the freedom and childcare to do so, as I prefer being financially independent and it’s frustrating not to be able to use my perfectly up-to-date and valuable skills.

Coffeebean76 · 03/04/2019 12:47

No. I'd find plenty of things to occupy my time !! The difference would be I could still be busy but without the stress of delivering on others expectations and the responsibility that comes with it !

ooooohbetty · 03/04/2019 12:51

When I was younger yes. I did work when financially I didn't need to. Now, absolutely not. I'm tired and worn out and I'd love to not work.

BlooperReel · 03/04/2019 12:52

Nope, the drudgery of the commute kills me. If I won the euromillions I'd take pleasure in telling my CEO 'Fuckity bye' Grin

Springwalk · 03/04/2019 13:47

Absolutely not!!!!!!!

I would def volunteer and study, travel, write books, but there is no way I would work.

Amongstthewildthings · 03/04/2019 14:17

I think my mind would go crazy if I didn't work at ALL, but I'd only do something either enjoyable or maybe one day a week of something utterly mind-numbing to quiet my mind.

sar302 · 03/04/2019 15:17

Yes. I don't need to work, as we don't need the money, but I've been off work since my toddler was born (16 month), and as much as I love him, it definitely feels like something is missing. But having said that, I'm not job hunting.... so I obviously don't miss it as much as I think I do.

thecatsthecats · 03/04/2019 15:31

I wouldn't:

  • be managed
  • manage other people (beyond say, a member of retail staff or something)

If I didn't have to.

I love working for myself, and am very self-motivated. I would love to be a writer actually - I wrote my first book (120k words) in just 43 days, and could structure a lovely life for myself on those grounds.

Mon-Fri I would probably get up, cook, then go to exercise. Then work approx 10-3 on writing. 3-6pm spent on other hobbies, house stuff, life admin, gardening etc.

Reminds me, I must actually try to do something about those five books I've written...

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