to be nervous my son will take after his fuckwit of a father?

[weirdbutok]

I don't know how I ended up with his dad. We are polar opposites. I was pregnant very quickly after we moved in together and that's when the abuse started. It was awful and I realised that we were wrong together. I panicked but would not have a termination as I believed I could never have children due to major surgery I had, and whilst a risky pregnancy, I wanted to continue. I do not regret this and love my son an incredible amount.

I'm a fairly intelligent woman with a PhD who likes to read and keep up to date with current affairs. I am an excellent mother and have to remind myself of all I've been through as I often feel I'm worth nothing. I'm proud of my achievements. Not stealth boasting - I just know how hard I've worked. My ex, DS Dad, is so incredibly stupid. All he does is sit on his phone all day, looks at memes, plays PlayStation, etc. This is all fine, but it's all he does. I don't even know what we talked about. He lied to me about his political beliefs (told me he voted labour but actually voted UKIP), I've learned recently that he holds racist views (and me and his son are mixed race!) - I saw a glimpse of this when he wanted to tick the 'Caucasian' box on a form when we took my son to the doctors (my son is very fair, but mixed race regardless). He is a vile human being and I feel like a selfish idiot at times for having a child with him. I could tell you many more things I do not like about him, but won't bore you.

I don't know how I came to find myself with this abusive man child. It just happened. He's not seeing DS at the moment but I hear he is meeting a solicitor soon so court will be looming.

I feel highly damaged by him. I'm broken and recovering from his abuse.

Does my son have any hope of being a normal, balanced human being with such a fool of a father?

My father in law is an absolute dick. His son (my husband) could not be any more different.....

I've had a very similar situation. You might find, that if the Dad is that much of a prat, then he'll end up not taking that much of an interest when the child is growing up, (in which case you'll be more of an influence).

With my daughter, visually, she was the spitting image of her Dad growing up, but she's nothing like him whatsoever. He left when she was little and she adored him, ( but he took no interest at all in her. I was open to any contact between them , but he just couldn't be bothered).

He's still as thick as a plank and has all the emotional intelligence of a house-brick. Whereas she is just coming up to completing her degree in psychology. I'm so proud of her.

Your parents really do not dictate who you are going to be. (which is a huge relief to an awful lot of us I would think )