to have expected a 16 year old to be able to pack for a 5 day trip?

[RageAgainstTheVendingMachine]

Just that really. Thanks in advance x

It's not even about the packing op

My 12 year old packs for camps, but unless there's a kit list and I tell him to, yes, actually pack everything on it he will only pack what he actually used last camp. No extra dry set of clothes in a bag at the bottom of his backpack, no spare jumper.

Guilt is for mugs op.

I'm currently on holiday. I didn't even check my kids bags. Youngest is 8.

I know. I think. Thank you lived here you are lovely
I don't want to be right on this occasion. I actually hate being right a lot of the time, it means something's gone wrong somewhere usually.
I am actually hoping it's cold and rainy for her.
And that she hasn't forgotten anything.
She is a sensible lass, has poor self-esteem though body wise but was happy with the outfits she had, some of the girls will think it's bloody Next Top Model time but she has packed fairly light....this is a good thing but limits her options, especially if they are the wrong trousers, Grommit. So I understand why she has packed what she wanted to pack and it's her life and her mistakes.
I guess the real question is, if you see a bad moon arising for your kid, do you just let it happen? She's nearly an adult now?
On the other hand, my get out clause is/was - you have enough cash to buy your way out of trouble if you need to and I'll cover it. That should be enough, right?

I remember the holiday when my 15 yo older sister had to wear her nightie the first day as that was all she had packed plus her toothbrush, hair styling stuff and all her makeup. She then complained bitterly because my parents took her to a charity shop to buy some clothes to wear.

(I can't remember why she didn't just wear the clothes she travelled in for the day unless that was to teach her the lesson?)

YANBU.

I would say teen venting because deep down she knows she should have done it! I can never win either so I say let her get in with it and enjoy the break from teen strops for 5 day!

It doesn’t matter what she packed or what you suggested, she will wear her favourite top and trousers for five days in a row regardless of the weather and come back to you with a bag of otherwise clean clothes if it wasn’t for a mouldy smell.

... or at least that’s what my teen does. But to his credit, he berated me for trying to intervene (... since the holiday when he packed all his collection of Jules Verne books and left all his clothes at home)

I suspect I am a awrite
But you are right. And we all learn or don't from our own mistakes, right?
On that note, I am off for a brew and some cake.
And onto the next child's crisis, whatever that will be.
Thank you

Ah, just read your update! You sound like me and my daughter! Try not to worry too much, I'm sure she will have a brilliant time in the end. We face similar issues in this house and I find it's always much better once she's there - she stops agonising about what she will look like when she is there!

I used to get my teenagers to lay everything out on the bed when packing for trips (or dance competitions), then I would go through it with them later and give reminders for anything forgotten. Eventually I found that the list of forgotten stuff got smaller and smaller, until it was just the odd reminder. My eldest is 19, can pack for any trip / holiday herself (as I would expect by her age) but I will usually ask her if she has remembered to pack the important stuff (ie. passport).

Youngest (14) is getting better but we still do the laying out on the bed method, with me double checking over it and adding the forgotten items. For something like a sleepover at a friend's house I would expect her to sort her own stuff completely (anything forgotten, tough - lesson learnt), but for something important such as a holiday, or a dance trip/competition that I have paid for, I double check that nothing important has been left behind.

Aw you lot have cheered me up - thanks again. I was feeling a bit bruised and low. Nowt chocolate won't fix hopefully.
Wearing a nightie is awesome pigs like when Rachel from Friends passed off her camisole as a dress (can't remember why, maybe she was locked out).
All will be well. She can always borrow a bit of lippy if she wants to glam it up and could wear a t shirt 5 times in a row and would still look like a million dollars to me.
The t-shirt though... is a retro back to the future tee. She hasn't even seen the film. Same as a retro ACDC tee and I'm like Name me one song. Just one. (in fairness, she named three so egg on my face).
I am becoming a grumpy old woman. That's all.

She is stressed and venting. I used to get mine to do it then I have a check over, she likes writing lists which helps. Try not to get into who's right/wrong scenario.

Most 16-17 year olds stress about what they wear. And they have a tendency to blame their parents (their mother) when anything goes wrong, or if they are worried that it might. Perhaps she needed you to pack so that it would be your fault if her fashion choices were wrong? Either way, try to let it wash over you 💐

I wanted to write loads more so you could see that the packing was just the tip of the iceberg and what she chose to blame you for. I don't mean there are any underlying problems with your family or daughter.

I remember blaming my mum and I get blamed also, it's just easy to take out your frustrations on those closest.

Your dd sounds lovely and she will have a nice time whatever the weather.

mine could from 9 but I credit scouts for this. lots of camps and they learn quickly plus they need to pack themselves. (mind ypu I m a leader and always checked)
kids for get loads their first camp and I bring extras with me...I ve kids and there is a fine point between learning the hard way and making life hard. so my cat always had spare tracksuit hats gloves etc..

Ah now you’ve updated OP it sounds like a typical teenage strop. No doubt if you’d stiff over her packing it would have been your fault for ‘banging on about it’ or ‘not giving her space’

I'm often on here moaning about how little my teens do around the house etc but packing is one thing they did do from 10ish - I think browine/guide trips helped.

I'm sure your DD will have a lovely time - we get the blame for most things during the teen years. Enjoy the peace.

They should be able to yes. Whether they do or not depends on how they’ve been raised.

My DH is seemingly incapable of packing a bag and as he's really tall with huge feet it's a right PITA to try and get replacement clothes and shoes for him when he forgets stuff. So now he gets stuff out and I add/remove things as needed.

DS1(12) is fine with a list as is DS2.

DD would mainly pack LOL dolls if I let her pack herself!

Slightly off - topic but I have a friend who is horrified that I don’t pack my husband’s case when we go away !!

Dunno, my 60 year old husband packed for 5 days with no clean underwear.
The only place within 10 miles that sold pants was a trendy boutique where he purchased 2 pairs of ridiculously expensive SuperDry kecks which he had to wash and dry each evening to provide enough clean.
AND they are so uncomfortable that they went in the bin last week

Don’t Start me on husbands not able to pack their cases... another one who could pack all his gadgets, leave all his underwear at home and then decide it is not his fault.

I would expect them to be able too with me doing a quick double check.

That said, I've turned up at the airport once without my case before so shouldn't really say too much 😂

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