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AIBU?

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Original poster

She bit her bottom lip...

193 replies

HeavyLocks · 01/04/2019 23:00

Why do authors do this?? I read a lot and I've noticed it more and more. Apparently it's a way of making a woman seem aroused/scared/sexy Hmm

I can honestly say I've never bit my lip when I've wanted to be aroused/scared/sexy.

Aibu? Also what other well used "phrases make you cringe?

OP posts:
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Loopylou6 · 02/04/2019 14:48

All the orgasms, Ana had about 10 of them before Christian even touched her Hmm

Sindragosan · 02/04/2019 14:54

This thread has been so entertaining I've dug out some old mills and boon.

'She was slender, but her trim figure still made his heartbeat jump. His eyes narrowed with heat as he recalled the shocked pleasure in her eyes when he'd touched her, kissed her in those forbidden places....'

FenellaVelour · 02/04/2019 15:00

I read a Black Lace book once where the woman’s fanwah was described as “like a copse of trees on a faraway mound”.

😬

Another Black Lace book memorably had the man leaping around after orgasming. I believe it was “Minx” and I believe the phrasing was: “He came. He spurted. He leaped around the room like a gazelle.”

Quite the mental image. Mind, I once read that particular passage out to an ex in humour, and we ended up in bed approximately thirty seconds later, so it obviously did more for him than me. No antelope-like antics afterwards though. Or even a sheep.

HennyPennyHorror · 02/04/2019 15:02

Let's all write our own crappy novel. Here's my start.

Helena Handbasket knew the charm and power which she held in her scrawny breasts.

"Drink me in Tarquin!" She crowed. ...."drink me all up...like hot cocoa in your Nan's best china cup!"

FenellaVelour · 02/04/2019 15:08

Helena Handbasket knew the charm and power which she held in her scrawny breasts.

"Drink me in Tarquin!" She crowed. ...."drink me all up...like hot cocoa in your Nan's best china cup!"

Helena arched her back, her nipples pointing at him prettily, as Tarquin’s eyes swept hungrily over her body, his irises darkening until they were almost black with desire. She felt heat pool between her thighs.

HennyPennyHorror · 02/04/2019 15:10

Helena Handbasket knew the charm and power which she held in her scrawny breasts.

"Drink me in Tarquin!" She crowed. ...."drink me all up...like hot cocoa in your Nan's best china cup!"

Helena arched her back, her nipples pointing at him prettily, as Tarquin’s eyes swept hungrily over her body, his irises darkening until they were almost black with desire. She felt heat pool between her thighs.

The pool widened and gushed attractively across the sticky rug. Helena blushed girlishly.

I didn't know I had it in me she breathed.

isabellerossignol · 02/04/2019 15:30

I didn't know I had it in me she breathed.

You don't, spluttered Tarquin in a panicked voice. This has never happened to me before. I've never had this problem.

Andylion · 02/04/2019 15:37

and a black horse no one else can ride)

I love the sound of that. Your writing, I mean, not a man who has one of those horses.

I bit the inside of my cheek once, when chewing gum and talking out loud to myself. It bloody hurt.

Andylion · 02/04/2019 15:40

She bit her bottom lip... http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/3548843-She-bit-her-bottom-lip#86022086

You know she's thinking, "Fuck, did I forget to turn off the stove?"

Mydollymolly · 02/04/2019 15:49

The new baby scenes in books make me laugh. It goes something like....
Kate slid into her favourite nightgown after a long luxurious soak in the bath and padded softly into the bedroom, where she found her husband gazing lovingly at their newborn daughter who was sleeping peacefully in her crib. Sliding upto him, she bit her lip as he whispered' she's beautiful Kate, just like you', as he gazed into the liquid pools of his wife's deep blue eyes. Kate's nipples hardened as he brushed his fingers lightly over them. ' oh Tom', she breathed as she fell into his arms.

The reality.
Kate pulled her washed out old nightie over her head after taking a quick dip in a warm salt bath to help heal her stitches. She went into the bedroom as quietly as she could, to find her husband sat on the bed looking knackered. At last the baby had fallen asleep after a marathon 3 hour screaming session. ' Fucking hell Kate', said Tom, ' I thought she would never go off, your boobs are leaking love'.
Kate muttered to herself as she rubbed her red sleep deprived eyes and changed yet another bra and nightie.

SerenDippitty · 02/04/2019 16:07

Joanna Trollope keeps saying "he/she let a beat fall, and then said...."

Wtf does that mean?

SchadenfreudePersonified · 02/04/2019 17:02

Tarquin's rough, equestrian's finger ran thrillingly along her marble thigh . . .

"Helena . . " he breathed, breathily.

"Darling" she gasped, gaspingly.

"I'm on the wet patch." he snapped, snappily. "Can you shift your fat arse over a it."

SchadenfreudePersonified · 02/04/2019 17:02

*bit, not it

I got over-excited (she said, excitedly)

Brilliantidiot · 02/04/2019 17:37

Tarquin's rough, equestrian's finger ran thrillingly along her marble thigh . . .

"Helena . . " he breathed, breathily.

"Darling" she gasped, gaspingly.

"I'm on the wet patch." he snapped, snappily. "Can you shift your fat arse over a bit."

Tarquin woke in the night to the delicious feel of her small, fluttering hand over his ample crotch.

"Helena.... Darling" he gasped.

"Are you laid on my phone again?" She snapped "That was my eBay tone, I've won some useless tat you're paying for"

ILoveBray · 02/04/2019 17:50

I predict this will go in classics.

And the book will get published.

Please keep going. I want to know what Tarquin and Helena do next! Grin

Lovestonap · 02/04/2019 18:08

Great writing! Don't forget to put a 'determined chin' in. All feisty heroine's have determined chins. It means they will disagree with the hero, and argue with him, and then agree he was right all along only she was too stubborn to see it.
And then the hero and his steely jaw and the heroine and her determined chin will procreate and have many junior Johnny Bravo types :)

CanoeDoYouThinkYouAre · 02/04/2019 18:33

Well I've spent the day boobing tittily everywhere and all I've got to show for it is backache.

Anyway, must go and view myself critically in the mirror, toss my hair back and laugh and bite my lower lip. Bit difficult to do when one is heaving around a 9 stone bulk but I will persist.

feska5 · 02/04/2019 18:41

Brimming eyes like deep pools
Determined jutting chin

Fluffyears · 02/04/2019 18:51

I agree with take a break style writers. The birth is always described as ‘Dwayne was by my sideas I pushed our Son into the world...’ eh you what now?

When they argue the man lip ‘curls’ in a sneer....how do you curl your lip?

MrsMoastyToasty · 02/04/2019 19:09

The male baddie in a romantic novel always has slack lips that have a hint of spittle on them for some reason I always contour up an image of Jamie Oliver in regency style clothing

Snuffalo · 02/04/2019 19:15

Has no one but me noticed the absolute worst one… characters who fucking ‘quirk their lips’ or whose ‘lips quirk at the corners’. I read tons of those three-book dystopian YA series for a while and this was EVERYWHERE and it even started to leak into otherwise decently written books and it makes me FURIOUS. I search new kindle books for the word before I read them now and return them for a refund if the word is used to describe anything other than an idiosyncrasy in personality and even then the author is on THIN FUCKING ICE.

RuffleCrow · 02/04/2019 19:17

Erm, i think you lot are reading the wrong books Grin

I only tend to read booker nominees and winners and similar which are less cliched generally. Even then i tend to choose those written by women if they're about women.

I'm happy to be a book snob if it stops me having to hurl books against the wall

Lovestonap · 02/04/2019 19:17

As a slight aside, and I know it's a bit mean, but in those Take a Break stories they always say

'I looked up and was instantly smitten by his rugged good looks and twinkling blue eyes' and you look at the picture of a rab c nesbit lookalike and think eh?

Snuffalo · 02/04/2019 19:24

@RuffleCrow I read about 200 books last year, including all the Man Booker nominees, War and Peace, and I spent an entire month reading Nigerian writers based on my love for Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie and I’m so in love with the country that I’m travelling to Lagos next summer. I also read a load of shitty YA and romance. Maybe be less of a snob, life is more fun that way.

EerieSilence · 02/04/2019 19:27

I can’t believe we are going out, Helena gasped. You have never invited me for dinner before.
They just opened new McDonald’s across the road and I am feeling generous, answered Tarquin while picking fluff from his navel absentmindedly. My treat!
As they were eating their cheeseburgers with large fries and large full fat Coke, Helena seductively looked at Tarquin, biting her low lip.
Tarquin looked at her and moved closer to her. She leaned over, expecting him to tell her what he was planning to do to her body that night.
You’ve got a pickle stuck between your teeth, he informed her. Now, are you going to eat your apple pie? Your arse looks good whatever size it is but we can’t afford buying an extra seat on the airplane when we go on vacation.