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Am I being unreasonably angry?

11 replies

FairyOnTheChristmasTree · 12/07/2007 11:11

Someone asked me to go shopping today so they can choose some new things for a wedding they're going to. My days off work are very scarce lately and as such quite precious but I agreed. I also need things for the wedding but as I'm plus size I have no choice whatsoever in our closest town so I agreed I would go as long as we could change the venue to the next town which is very easy to get to etc and the person knows the reason why but wouldn't budge at all so now we're going to closest town with me knowing I will not get a thing and my whole afternoon will be wasted.

I just suggested we go for lunch, my treat, in a local chinese cafe/restaurant but this person said no way is she going there (she loves chinese food and likes the restaurant) and said she will only go to such and such a cafe. I have just thrown a load of insults at her (behind her back and silently when she just gone home, not to her face!!!) Is she being cheeky? Please bear in mind I am also doing a favour dropping something off at PO today for her and then waiting around 3.5 hours in town alone after work on Friday to collect a friend of hers. I feel all walked on TBH.

OP posts:

chevre · 12/07/2007 11:13

no point in getting angry. you need to be more assertive. she is not being a bitch she is suiting herself and you should do the same.


TranquilaManana · 12/07/2007 11:14

say no.
practice it in the mirror.
and enjoy its results in person.
easy as that.


PeachesMcLean · 12/07/2007 11:14

She sounds thoughtless. Tell her something's come up. Go shopping on your own and buy something gorgeous.


TranquilaManana · 12/07/2007 11:15

(was being flippant. i know its not easy to say no for people who are seemingly conditioned to want to make evryone happy at all costs... but will be such a thrill when you get the hang of it. promise.)


mumblechum · 12/07/2007 11:16

Yes, agree with Peachy.


dobbysayswoof · 12/07/2007 11:16

Ring her and say you can't go. Then go to the other town yourself and go for lunch where you want. Agree your 'friend' is just pleasing herself. No point in getting angry, going with her and resenting it. You might as well use your day off to suit you.


HonoriaGlossop · 12/07/2007 11:17

If you are doing things you resent doing, just don't do them. I agree, you would need to look at being more assertive. When you agreed to go shopping, and the suggestion of the other town was rejected, you simply needed to have said "oh well I can't shop there, so we'll have to go seperately."

It's no good to you saying yes to all this stuff then getting angry 'behind her back'!


Wisteria · 12/07/2007 11:18

YANBU at all and I am one who's only just learning to say no etc, just say that you obviously have different needs for the wedding and that you can't really spare any more time to go shopping for yourself so you are going to the other town and if she wants to join you, that would be great!


amidaiwish · 12/07/2007 11:33

all good advice
have you made the call yet?
go on, do it now.


FairyOnTheChristmasTree · 12/07/2007 19:52

Hi, thanks for all your advice.

Didn't end up going in the end.

OP posts:

Butterbeertroot · 12/07/2007 19:57

did you face her then?

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