Is it wrong for me not to want to visit my Dads grave.

[Baywatch46]

I lost my Dad suddenly 4 months ago and couldn't go to his funeral. He lived in Cyprus where I lived also for 9 years with him and brought 2 of my children up there. His death was unexpected and because it was in Cyprus very complicated as we could not fly him back. I was in hospital myself at the time and was to ill to fly out for his funeral. My eldest daughter decided she wanted to get married back in Cyprus because of all the fond memories she has when she was growing up, so we are all flying out this September. My Dad would have been there so amongst all the happiness there is also a great deal of sadness. I don't want to go to his grave whilst I'm there as I don't feel I could cope. The last memories I have is me riding on the back of my dads bike in Cyprus which I want to keep. I don't want my last memory to be a grave where my dad is not there. I want my memories to be of my daughters wedding and the memories that will surround us all of my Dad. I know he is with me and I know I don't need to see his grave for closure as I already have that and excepted he's gone. Am I bad for not doing this? I'm feeling I would be seeing his grave because of what people expect of me and not what I really want.

My dad died 21 years ago. I very rarely visit his grave. His memory lives on in my heart and my head. Often I have his photo by a vase of flowers at home. Never forgotten. Don't feel the need to go to a grave to remember him.

My mum's grave is just down the road; I very rarely visit. Have you ever heard this poem?

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.

Little bit cheesy, but I like it, reminds me that she is still around in spirit and wouldn't want me crying at her grave anyway.

Hope you have a lovely time at your daughters wedding OP, maybe you could do something else nice in memory of your dad, like a meal at his favourite restuarant?

Thank you all so much for answering this post and for not making me feel bad about it. I have some of my Dads jewelry which he wore and some old model cars that he used to collect. His favourite tree was a cheery Blossom, so I'm going to plant one in my garden for him. I think that way I'll have something to look at and talk to. He used to say about life that " Nature Never Gets It Wrong" I believe he's still hear just not in body.🙂

Yanbu to not visit the grave.
I lost my Nana who I was extremely close to 8 years ago , I could probably count on one hand the amount of times I've visited her grave which is only 5 minutes walk away.