Mothers day - Mum upset about MIL mention on Facebook

[Sweetcornandmash]

I know, sorry, another mothers day thread! Just needed to have a little vent.
Love my mum dearly, but she's driving me mad!
Birthdays/ mothers day/ big events she always demands a Facebook status up saying how wonderful a mum she is etc.
She is a wonderful mum, really kind and helpful with the grandchildren.. I always put something up but usually it gets picked apart that it isn't gushing about her enough!
Today I've put some photos up of her and my mother in law (who is also amazing and like a mum to me) wishing them both a happy mother's day. We got them both cards and presents too but straight away my mum had the grump that I'd dared put a public declaration of happy mothers day to my MIL as she's not my mum and apparently my dad agreed!
Grrr its all so stupid, I was happy with a card and some pictures from my little ones.
Stupid oversold mothers day!

Jeezo. Why do people pander to this shit.

Well I often think people are harsh about ms and mils on here, but your M takes the biscuit.. I don’t think you should indulge her. It is tacky. But I think you should also sit her down and tell her that you are really grateful that she is a great M despite her poor role model. Then ask her to consider the ways in which her childhood may still be affecting her, and suggest counselling.
You sound lovely very tho

Delete Facebook entirely. You'll be so much happier.

My mum thinks I don’t use Facebook, through my settings she can’t see any of my activity... just saying...

My mum is like this. I recently got rid of Facebook because of this. How pathetic am I?

I had her on a restricted view for ages but she knew and would bring it up all the time and then every occasion she'd want me to put a post up. I'm seeing her today to give her her mother's day gift but she was desperate to see me yesterday, I know why, so she could get a picture of the two of us to post her own "how lucky/amazing am i" post.

Some people are crazy when it comes to social media validation

Tell her if she can't behave then you're blocking her on SM. Let her sulk, tantrum or anything else you're pandering to.

This is why I don't have my parents on my Facebook. Just no.

Jeez, I had a horribly abusive mother that I’m now NC with. She once tried to dictate what I put on my own FB page and I was having none of it.

I wasn’t loved growing up but for me just having a child who loves me is all the validation I need.

So while I get where your Mum is coming from in terms of needing validation, nobody should need public validation, especially to the extent of demanding gushing SM posts. I’d never ask my dd to do that.

Definitely a case of “That’s fine Mum, as what I wrote wasn’t good enough I’ll be sure not to post about you at all from now on.”

Madness! Is she envious of MIL then?

Gushy posts on facebook are the worst, who is she wanting to read them? This isn't the spirit of the day at all, it's meant to be to show her you care or whatever, not to tell the world she is a better mum than them. Block her on facebook / delete facebook / tell her no more gushy posts on facebook. Surely she should be happy to have contact with you / spend time with you instead? It is not a competition.

Put up another post that's completely hyperbolic, over the top "you are the best mum not even in the world, in all the galaxies and the UNIVERSE, other mums ain't got nothing on you, they're not even worthy to kiss your feet...etc" and round it off with "happy now, jackass?"

I got off FB 3 years ago because my DM attacked me for not wishing her happy birthday, and what would people think, everyone else wishes their mothers.

Best decision ever.

That's emotional blackmail, it seems your mom (like mine) is only interested in what people think! Smoke and mirrors.

Do what you want and how you want and let no one (no matter how much you love them) guilt you or force you into doing something you don't want to do.

She sounds really insecure and that she takes everything really personally. Nothing you do can change that . I’d either come off fb( I deleted my account 2 months ago and don’t miss it one bit) or tell your DM that as you don’t wish to cause any upset you won’t be posting any ‘tributes’ to the wonderfulness of either her or your DM in future. It’s sad that others opinions mean so much to her but there sounds to be an understandable reason as to why they do.

You’ve fed her need to be ‘wanted on fb’ so if I were you I would come off fb and that would be the end of that. Tell her to stop behaving like she’s 5!

It is not your job to fix her crappy upbringing, as much as you want to. You can't fix it, it will never be enough because it's not her parents. You can't make up for what she went through, so as well meaning as your posts are (I'm aware that she asks for them), they're not making it better. I would stop putting them up there as they don't sound as though they're ever good enough for her. It is very over-sensitive to get angry over the FB post you put up and it's a shame she has these reactions.