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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask for pregnancy anxiety survival stories

31 replies

Littlefeather2 · 31/03/2019 19:08

I’ve been having scarily bad antenatal anxiety now for at least two months. I’ve always had some anxiety but wasn’t taking medication as it was really mild. Since becoming pregnant, after years of waiting for the right moment, so much has happened in my life which has just knocked me sideways and I started to have really bad anxiety and irrational thoughts about my babies health. Any moms with experience of this and their little ones were fine? I just really want to believe my ds will be okay after all this stress and the panic attacks.

OP posts:

student26 · 31/03/2019 19:10

I stressed every single day. It’s natural! My daughter was perfect when she was born and still is, almost two years later. Let yourself relax and keep busy x

NotSureThisIsWhatIWant · 31/03/2019 19:15

Oh yes! I was soo worried about many things. But once the baby arrives you realise that no matter what, that baby is yours and the most amazing thing that has happened to you, and someway you seem to discover some strength in you to keep him/her well and keep you going you never thought you had.

Try to keep busy to keep the bad thoughts at bay. You will be fine, but ask for as much help as you need to get reassurance and support.

Skittlelover · 31/03/2019 19:16

Hi,
I could easily have written this post when pregnant. How far along are you?
I found pregnancy made me so anxious and I had panic attacks throughout. I made sure to tell my midwife and I had specialist mental health midwife team. You have to be quite firm that you need the extra support I have found but I think it's worth it.
Also confiding in family especially my husband when I was struggling really helped and I tried to explain when not in a panic attack what would help me personally.
I have a wonderful healthy 2 year old and just had another baby who is 4 months. They are an absolute joy and totally worth the tough times in pregnancy.
I went to hospital a lot for reduced movements and often worried about my babies and ended up with an elective section due to my anxiety of giving birth and being out of control.
It is almost a distant memory being pregnant although not long ago. I know it was a terrible time but the difference now with my two lovely boys is amazing.
I hope the pregnancy passes quickly for you (tho I know it probs won't!)
Keep focusing on good positive things and try to keep distracted as much as you can.
Look after yourself and you will be fine. Xx

GoodJobShesCute · 31/03/2019 19:28

I had terrible anxiety when pregnant with my daughter. I honestly couldn't see how it would be ok and how she could be healthy. I would have near panic attacks and just cry and cry on occasion because I was so upset with how I felt. I got some CBT which really helped, although didn't remove my anxiety entirely. She's 1.5 now and is perfect in every way. Happily the anxiety I felt when pregnant went when she was born (replaced initially with the fear of newborns but everyone gets that!) I often wonder what I'll be like if I'm lucky enough to have another baby. I hope I'll be ok as I'll have cast iron proof that it can be ok! I feel for you so much. I always imagined pregnant women were all zen and calm and at one with their bodies and their babies. Turns out not always! X

BirthdayKake · 31/03/2019 19:30

I'm 25 weeks tomorrow and my anxiety is getting worse and worse! Not just about the pregnancy and the baby, but about anything and everything. It's horrible. I'm seeing the GP in a couple of weeks

Thirtyrock39 · 31/03/2019 19:31

And try to remember that some anxiety is helpful and useful- most pregnancies have some level of anxiety and it ensures that you keep yourself and your growing baby healthy and is preparation for being responsible for a little person
Try and find time for relaxation and mindfulness type activities when you start to feel really anxious

Original poster

Littlefeather2 · 31/03/2019 19:39

I think my anxiety would be deemed extreme as I’ve had to consider antidepressants for my mood. My anxiety has gone beyond normal pregnancy anxiety unfortunately, and the worst thing is I did it to myself with obsessive researching. I was fine before, didn’t worry very much as I thought whatever will be will be and knew that most things are out of our control in pregnancy. But at 27 weeks I started to spiral into intense anxiety over some small things and I’m now over those issues, but worrying how this has affected him.

OP posts:

Bitchinwitch · 31/03/2019 19:44

Oh god I can totally sympathise! Pregnancy made me go totally nuts! It started at 20 weeks and just got progressively worse until my baby was born then it just disappeared, I also had cbt. I'd work 7 till 3 then get home and go straight to bed as sleeping was the only thing that made my thoughts stop. I had irrational thoughts about the health of my baby, the screening tests not being accurate enough, and the worst one i had was my brain thinking up that maybe I'd had an affair and forgotten and the baby wouldn't be my partners. Looking back now it's amazing how my brain blew everything out of proportion!

Buddytheelf85 · 31/03/2019 19:44

I’m 24 weeks tomorrow and my anxiety is absolutely horrendous. Like you, I’ve always been prone to anxiety but I now stress constantly about the baby’s health. Just for example, after every scan I’ve been obsessively googling the measurements - his head and stomach measurements are on higher percentiles than his length measurement, is that normal? I’ve been worried about my exposure to chemicals and traffic pollution. I’ve been worried that our dog poses a health risk to the baby (his flea medicine?)

It all looks so ridiculous when I write it down but it feels so real in my head! I’ve also been diagnosed with some minor complications which hasn’t helped the irrational anxiety at all.

Pregnancy yoga classes have really helped me (plus I’ve met a nice bunch of people from it). So has walking and nightly baths (not too hot of course...!) I’ve also asked for a referral to my hospital’s mental health midwifery team.

It’s awful but I think it’s pretty common OP. I just try to focus on how many lovely healthy babies there are in the world!

RanOutOfUsernames · 31/03/2019 19:45

I feel for you op! I suffer from anxiety but whilst pregnant and following several miscarriages I was a mess. I regularly had panic attacks and horrendous insomnia. My thoughts were so dark and negative and I feel so sad that I never got to enjoy a beautiful experience because I couldn't stop worrying. I was on AD's for some of my pregnancy but I don't feel they helped ease my anxiety at all.

Buddytheelf85 · 31/03/2019 19:48

My anxiety has gone beyond normal pregnancy anxiety unfortunately, and the worst thing is I did it to myself with obsessive researching.

Oh god I know! I sometimes think I should have blocked google from my phone when I got the positive test!

TTQuestion · 31/03/2019 19:51

I was very bad also with awful anxiety and my baby is totally fine.

Siameasy · 31/03/2019 19:57

Oh bloody researching I was the same. Could you find something benign to take your mind off it? Eg cheesy films or a hobby?
Looking back I was irrational during the pregnancy - I’m embarrassed now but maybe it was hormonal. I thought someone was after me for one. It didn’t help that I had a heavy bleeding episode at 14w which lasted about 10 days on and off. I was just waiting for the worst and was on tenterhooks after that.
It improved when she was born but - probably triggered by sleep deprivation - I did get PND but later.
I’m fine now but I’ve changed a lot of things about my life to get there (diet, stress, exercise, attitude)

Cantchooseaname · 31/03/2019 20:06

Awful, awful anxiety following miscarriage. Literally sobbed through booking, referred to mental health midwife team, but didn’t really help.
Struggled to work.
Didn’t buy anything til about 30 weeks.
Didn’t discuss names til day before being induced.
Cried ALOT.
First few weeks were rough, but we got through.
I can’t contemplate another, but am forever grateful for what I have.

Louiselouie0890 · 31/03/2019 20:06

Everyone worries and stresses to a degree but of it affecting your day to day life then it's time to speak to your doctor or midwife if you haven't already. They will give the best advice and keep an eye on you. Mine was postnatal so day to day things like having baby on a certain side of the room wouldn't be helpful for you.hope you start feeling better soon x

Cantchooseaname · 31/03/2019 20:08

Also, meant to say- be honest with everyone- midwives, gp, partner etc. There’s no shame. People want to help, even if just to listen and hold your hand at night.

Original poster

Littlefeather2 · 31/03/2019 20:58

Buddytheelf85

It is awful isn’t it the constant worry! I have thyroid issues and I panic about that a lot. But I initially starting panicking about not taking iodine in a prenatal and having used plastic chinese containers in the microwave and dishwasher. Those were my own obsessions and I guess I was trying to punish myself for being so ‘reckless’ and not being cautious in the first place. Now I panic about the stress hormones which is a vicious cycle. Been to GP about it all and getting CBT too but that’s all the help I’m getting offered besides medication and it worries me too . Not sure what else I can do but I try to get out of the house for walks and do breathing exercises also. My partner is practically a trained counsellor at this stage!

OP posts:

ButtMuncher · 31/03/2019 21:00

I had horrendous antenatal anxiety with my DS who is now 2.5. I am prone to anxiety and OCD anyway, but it became uncontrollable when I was pregnant. One thing that certainly helped was having intervention from the perinatal mental health team and having a nurse allocated to me. She was around before the birth and a lot afterwards and worked hard with me to help with any concerns I had. She was invaluable for the first year of my sons life, so if you could kick start that by speaking to your midwife that wild certainly help x

ValleyoftheHorses · 31/03/2019 21:03

I was so anxious. I had a mc and a tfmr before DS and he was an ivf baby. I had placenta praevia also - all scary stuff.
Once he arrived I was a lot better. He’s now 6 and a healthy happy child. He’s very chilled as well, not a worrier at all like his mummy.
Good luck

Shazafied · 31/03/2019 21:10

Yes , I could have written your post. I was extremely anxious every day with DD1, and it’s the same thisntime round (35 weeks with DD2). I am convinced something terrible will happen. Can I recommend hypnobirthing ? It’s really helping me this time around with anxiety in pregnancy and about the birth.

If you have I tunes you can listen to Katherine Graves colour and calmness on there - I’ve been trying to listen to it when I get really wound up (to the point of tears and telling my husband I know “something terrible will happen to this baby” - an assertion based on absolutely nothing !!). It’s very good for general anxiety but with a specific focus on pregnancy and birth.

Original poster

Littlefeather2 · 31/03/2019 21:10

Ranoutofusernames

Hey, this sounds exactly like me. I’m definitely not enjoying my pregnancy now at all I’m ashamed to admit. It’s hard to connect when you’re convinced something is wrong because of something you did or didn’t do. Did you find your little one was okay in their development and not anxious? I really worry about this as I feel that it will be my fault if they struggle in life, can’t bear the thought that I’m the reason why. I’m not usually a nervous wreck like this, just had so much to deal with this pregnancy .

OP posts:

Luna2019 · 04/09/2019 21:00

Hey @Littlefeather2 how are you doing. Any update? I'm in the same situation currently x

Original poster

Littlefeather2 · 05/09/2019 12:31

Hey Luna, once my baby was born a massive weight was lifted. I completely bonded straight away, it was the pregnancy that I really struggled with. And to put it into context my stress levels were unbearable, to the point that I couldn’t leave the house and was having panic attacks pretty much all day for months on end, I was a mess with depression, anxiety....everything, you name it I had, I even got to a stage where I wished I wasn’t pregnant and there was a lot of shame and self-hate with that feeling.

But when they placed him in my arms I knew everything was going to be okay, he was so tiny and precious. Despite all the stress he is the happiest smiliest baby! Everyone comments on how pleasant he is and how he loves to interact, he is meeting all his developmental milestones before time and already seems to have a really sociable yet relaxed personality. He is as bright as a button!

And my whole outlook now is worlds apart than before, I now look forward to every morning and the smiles I’ll get when his little eyes open 😂 best feeling ever.

OP posts:

Luna2019 · 05/09/2019 13:01

Thank you so much for the update. Have PMd you xxx

Momtobe88 · 04/09/2021 01:47

@Littlefeather2
@Luna2019

I am currently in the same position as you were in and I’m so worried about the long term effects. I have googled too much and it hasn’t been good for me. Have your babies had any difficulties now that they are a little older?

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