Ex hasn’t paid a penny towards our DS, when he was a few months old I contacted CMS. He then quit his job to work cash in hand and avoid payments, but he has around 1k arrears from before this. He has consistently ignored their letters and it has now escalated to enforcement action, with court dates being arranged.
The only problem is, after not seeing DS the majority of 2016, 2017 and 2018, he got back in contact around last Christmas and wanted to make amends and have a relationship with him. They have had regular contact (although ex still hasn’t paid a penny or offered to help out despite me bringing it up). I’m almost certain that if it goes further with cms my ex will see it as a personal attack and cut ties with DS based on that alone.
For some background, he has other children from a previous relationship who he no longer sees, as he met someone else, and started trying for a baby with the new girlfriend (despite not seeing or providing for any of his existing children) they have broken up now, which I suspect is the only reason he started bothering with DS again. so I don’t have much faith in him sticking around regardless of CMS, he’s shown that he will always put his needs first, but I also really don’t want to feel responsible for ruining his relationship with DS. The thought of DS not knowing his father being somehow my fault makes me feel incredibly guilty.
We struggle with money a lot despite me working, even with essentials like food, clothes and bills. ex works full time, with lots of disposable income, but is just very tight fisted. It’s likely If it goes to court his current work will be brought up and possibly lead to us recieving more consistent mantenance.
Aibu to consider cancelling CMS to avoid the possible drama and disappearance of DS’s father? I also suffer from anxiety at times which is making this situation feel a lot worse.