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AIBU?

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Original poster

Not sure if I'm being petty?

28 replies

PassMeTheWine · 31/03/2019 12:21

Yesterday Me, DH and our 2dc's booked a nice meal out for today.
A few hours after we booked it his DF called and said they were all going out somewhere else for food and did we want to go with them.
Totally different restaurants/food. I have my heart set on this meal so I told him to go with his family if he wanted
and I will carry on with the original plan with the Dc's.
Can't help but feel a bit sad that he's not coming with me and his children on mother's day.
Am I being petty?

OP posts:
19lottie82 · 31/03/2019 12:23

YANBU

Marnie76 · 31/03/2019 12:24

Hold old are your children ie will you have to be running around after them in the restaurant on your own or are they grownup?

ScreamingValenta · 31/03/2019 12:25

YANBU

Original poster
PassMeTheWine · 31/03/2019 12:26

Thanks for the replies.
They are both under ten so could be a bit tricky if the baby plays up!

OP posts:
fluffygreenmonsterhoody · 31/03/2019 12:27

YANBU

Bobbycat121 · 31/03/2019 12:28

You will be fine I take my 4 out to restaurants on my own all the time, all under 10.

Leeds2 · 31/03/2019 12:28

If I had been you, I would've gone with DH and his family. And gone to the restaurant that you had booked next weekend. But I don't think YABU for wishing DH was with you and the DC now.

Marnie76 · 31/03/2019 12:29

Ah then I think YANBU. If he wanted to go out somewhere different with his mum (I assume) he should have organised it before so you didn’t have different expectations, not book some where and then jump at the next offer that comes along!

Cornettoninja · 31/03/2019 12:37

I’d be put out too but you told him to go! My dp is very black and white and would genuinely think that this was how to keep everyone happy and relieved you suggested it.

Go and enjoy your meal.

Walkingdeadfangirl · 31/03/2019 12:38

Why dont you just go out with his father. The other restaurant will still be there next week.

bridgetreilly · 31/03/2019 12:58

Huh. Why did you tell him to go with his family when you didn't want him to? The reasonable thing to do would have been to say to his father, 'Oh, I'm sorry, we've already made a booking somewhere else.' Not tell him to go and then be upset about it.

user1483387154 · 31/03/2019 12:59

You told him to go.

GimmeBread · 31/03/2019 13:02

Why did you tell him to go with his family if you wanted him to stay with you? Would he rather be with you or his parents?

BedraggledBlitz · 31/03/2019 13:03

Depends really.

If you told him you would rather he came with you and he chose his parents then yanbu.

But if you gave him the impression it was all fine, yabu.

Hope you enjoy your meal.

BlueMerchant · 31/03/2019 13:04

YANBU
I'd be so so annoyed. I wouldn't forget this!

Morgan12 · 31/03/2019 13:06

Looks like I'm going against the grain here but I think your DH should do as you want on mother's day. He should be with his own family. So he is BU.

Meandmetoo · 31/03/2019 13:09

I'll be honest, that sounds great, I'd love to spend a mother's Day meal with just my DC, dp goes out with his mum.....yes I'd quite like this iiwm (but I know you're not me!)

Drum2018 · 31/03/2019 13:10

He should be said you already had plans and gone with you.

Drum2018 · 31/03/2019 13:11

'Should have said'

BottleOfJameson · 31/03/2019 13:11

YANBU. Either he's completely gormless and didn't realise your offer was not one you were actually happy for him to accept or he's just plain selfish. Either way lesson learned next time tell him explicitly 'it's mother's day and is like to stick to our plan'.

Isitteayourlookingfor · 31/03/2019 13:12

He’s spending mother’s d with his mum. Your children are spending it with their mum. You shouldn’t have told him go if you didn’t want to so yabu

Onceuponacheesecake · 31/03/2019 13:40

Why tell him to go?
As I get older I realise I have less and less time for putting myself last and trying to be so accommodating.

As long as you know you're being reasonable (you are) just get to the point and tell him what you want. Say that you'd prefer if he came out with you.

Having said all that OH wouldn't have opted to go without me even if I had offered.

Cornettoninja · 31/03/2019 13:40

@bottleofjameson, can’t say I completely disagree with the observation of gormlessness but it’s unreasonable to expect anybody to spend their lives working out whether somebody actually means what they say and where the hidden rules are.

My dp is forever questioning whether I mean what I say and it pisses me off. I assure him I will tell him if I’m not happy with some things (and I do) but it all comes from this stupid fannying around dance that it seems women have been taught and then use as a measure of whether someone really cares about them or not. So much heartache could be avoided by just being clear and honest.

Bluntness100 · 31/03/2019 13:42

Well it's kind of your decision really isn't it, you had two options. Go with them or go with just you and the kids. Surely you could have had a nice time with different types of food?

BottleOfJameson · 31/03/2019 13:47

I get what you mean about looking for hidden meanings I guess it would be nice to think your partner knows you at least well enough to know whether or not you care about mothers day. In the future I guess it makes sense to be explicit 'I can't stop you from going out with your family but I'll be upset if you do because I had looked forward to these plans on mother's day'. That way if he's being selfish he's forced to actually own it and if he's just being gormless he won't have to decode anything and will know exactly how you feel.

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