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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Abused by bank staff

164 replies

Tara336 · 31/03/2019 09:57

Not so much an AIBU but WWYD? I’m actually still quite shocked by an incident that happened in DM local bank yesterday. She’s quite old now and doesn’t always take things in very well. She asked me to accompany her to the local branch to help her pay a bill as she was insisting they would no let her pay by card. She was worried about carrying lots of cash. I did tell her I’m sure she had misunderstood but I didn’t go with her.

My mum qued up and I was stood behind her, one of the staff asked I for she needed help and myself my DM explained she was here’s to pay a bill and then proceeded to explain how it was the second attempt and how she was struggling to understand the changes the bank had made etc. The FW (floorwalker) explained the reasoning (which seemed reasonable to me ) and politely listened to DM mild whinge. As FW walked away she rolled her eyes an sighed in my direction which I thought though bit wasn’t professional.

DM then went to desk to pay and had another little moan (I admit annoying but nothing nasty) FW walked up to the desk to fetch her drink and return to her desk on other side of branch. As she did so she looked at my DM sighed loudly and rolled her eyes again. I was a it surprised and let out an involuntary “oh”. My DM heard the sign and looked round to see the eye roll and said “please don’t roll your eyes at me” At that all hell broke loose the FW jumped up from her seat And started shouting that she hadn’t rolled rolled eyes etc and was generally behaving in quite a shocking way. I started to usher my mum out of the branch and as we were leaving the FW was still shouting at us! I politely said I did see you eye roll too and it was rude and we walked out into the high times street absolutely stunned! My Dm said I think we ought to complain and I said yes yes.

THIS is where it gets even more crazy, we were walking down the high street and heard someone shouting excuse me, wevlooked round and FW is chasing after us! She then proceeds to start shouting again about how other staff in branch heard me call her a bitch! I said no I did not and I’ve been nothing but polite to her, by this time there’s a crowd watching this, I decide the best thing to do was walk away, but I’m absolutely stunned by the whole thing and a actually in a state of disbelief tbh

OP posts:
AJPTaylor · 31/03/2019 10:44

Complain
See where else your mum could pay bills locally. Post office?
Close the account

Dungeondragon15 · 31/03/2019 10:46

Complain. It will be on CCTV and whether or not it has sound they will be able to see the expression on her face and the fact she left the bank to chase you down the street. There is no excuse for her behaviour even if you did call her a bitch.

GruffaIo · 31/03/2019 10:49

I believe you, OP. I once had something similar happen in a mobile phone shop (O2, Clarendon Centre, Oxford - no idea if it's still there). I can't even remember the detail, just that I got a lot of anger and nastiness from nowhere, and that I burst into tears leaving the shop. I wrote a complaint letter, they reviewed CCTV and sent me a big bunch of flowers as an apology, and I hope the staff member was disciplined.

Worried2019 · 31/03/2019 10:51

@Tara336 75? Is that all? That is not "old" as you have said frequently! My Mum is 75 and still works in a bloody bank! She's just bought and renovated a house and most certainly does not struggle with changes or need 'accompanying' anywhere!

Why are you treating your mum like she's elderly and decrepit?!

RUOKHUN · 31/03/2019 10:53

I also would complain. It literally wouldn’t have mattered if your DM had gone on a full on angry rant, to come after you afterwards is aggressive and a huge over reaction. What was she planning on doing after running after you?

Original poster
Tara336 · 31/03/2019 10:53

@Worried2019 that’s great your DM can do that, however, my DM s not and is frail, extremely anxious and not in great health

OP posts:
oldowlgirl · 31/03/2019 10:54

Complain very very loudly as treating anyone like that is bad but an elderly lady is shocking - doubt she'd have been that way with a man Angry. I'd also get your mum to close her account & bank elsewhere if that's possible. What a horrible person. Not surprised you're shocked.

Original poster
Tara336 · 31/03/2019 10:58

@RUOKHAN FW was really shouting in high street I’m not entirely sure what she thought she would do when she caught us up tbh, she sort of hovered for a bit as we walked from her and stomped off back towards the bank. It was all a bit bizarre tbh and if it hadn’t happened to me I would have never believed someone could behave like that

OP posts:
AWishForWingsThatWork · 31/03/2019 10:59

Please complain.

I expect the 'backstory' is that the FM actually has had complaints about her attitude before, and she is loudly trying to cover her arse and get her coworkers to back her up.

Please ask for the cctv anyway. Tell them it should show the eyerolls and the disdainful way she treated your elderly mother, who you already explained was struggling with changes which is why you were there, and that it show clearly you didn't call anyone names. The fact that you asked for it to be looked at should go a long way in your favour belief-wise imo.

clairemcnam · 31/03/2019 10:59

Worried My dad is 76 and struggles with any changes. I know not all old people in this age group do, but it is not that unusual.

GoGoGadgetGin · 31/03/2019 11:00

Ok so complain and let the proper process work, stating that your DM was 'abused' is ridiculous and makes me think maybe the rest of the post is also exaggerated.

Biancadelrioisback · 31/03/2019 11:00

Sorry but CCTV probably won't be that high quality to capture an eyeroll or even a facial expression well. At best it will show who was stood where and her chasing after you.
The bank, if they investigate, will speak to staff on shift too so if they are corroborating with her story, you will end up in a he said she said. The bank will then paint a picture to you of a 'misunderstanding' and say they will use this as a learning experience to reinforce their high standards of customer service and provide training for the staff members involved. They will probably apologise and offer your mum a token amount in compensation. In reality, nothing will probably happen and the FW will be told to just not engage with you and your DM going forward

Becca19962014 · 31/03/2019 11:01

Honestly some peole shouldn't be in customer roles.

This week I complained about a member of staff in a shop who, for several years, has been rude to me because my disability effects my hygiene. I don't know her name, she doesn't know mine. I know nothing about her except who her husband is because he ran our bank (when we had one and she was abusive to me in there and he pulled her up on it). But she will, literally, cross over a road to hurl abuse at me for being disgusting and needing to just buy some deodorant. Once she walked into a cafe just to complain that they'd let me in there.

I've never said anything. It's always upset me but I took the view she had her own issues and kept my upset and tears to myself as no one knew (or so I thought).

This week she decided to start on me in her workplace (came up behind me and making disgusting noises and complaining that stinky was allowed in her shop) - not the first time but I'm not having the best of times and after thinking it through decided to report her. It was hard, as I don't even know her name and have no idea who she is all I could really say was a description and rude and got upset explaining. Unbeknown to me at the time another customer had overheard her and complained about her behaviour as well and when discussing with manager I found out she'd been reported by other staff for treating me this way (so much for no one knowing!).

After waiting for a taxi she came up to me and told me she isn't neuro typical and doesn't understand why the problem and was going to lose her job over it (not as polite as that), I was upset about it but I know she doesn't treat others like this.

I know nothing about her.
There's no backstory. Never even spoken to her (even when she came up to me I just stood there and got in taxi which luckily turned up).

I've seen her since, still the same behaviour...

clairemcnam · 31/03/2019 11:01

Worried And there are plenty of people in their 70's in care homes or having carers visit every day.
I hate how on MN unless your parents are in their 90's, someone always challenges the idea that your parents could be frail and struggling with changes.

BirdieInTheHand · 31/03/2019 11:02

These threads about poor/absuive service always remind me of the poster who was pushed over in a shop by the guy working there.

Many posters claimed there must have been a different side to the story that OP was untruthful. As I recall months later she came back with a link to a news article showing he'd be successfully prosecuted.

oldowlgirl · 31/03/2019 11:03

I don't disagree @Biancadelrioisback however if there are other complaints about this staff member or if the other staff tell the truth, then she may be reprimanded or at least discouraged from doing anything like this in future.

clairemcnam · 31/03/2019 11:05

Birdie I always assume the posters claiming this can not be the whole picture are not frail elderly or visibly disabled. Otherwise they would know that some people, including service staff, do treat frail elderly people and visibly disabled people shockingly.

Original poster
Tara336 · 31/03/2019 11:09

@oldowgirl I agree with @Biancadelrioisback which is why’s I’m asking WWYD as I think she’s spot on but you raise a fair point too and I’ll put in a complaint tomorrow.

OP posts:
maddiemookins16mum · 31/03/2019 11:11

Unbelievable behaviour.

PotteryLady · 31/03/2019 11:13

I would just make a complaint and let them check cctv and if it's proved she was out of order I would want her moved branch so your mom is happy to go back - what bank was this?

Thecabbageassasin · 31/03/2019 11:16

Even if the cctv hasn’t captured the fw eye rolls and the bank dismiss it as a training need, still complain. It will go on her record.

I doubt it’s the first time she’s behaved this way and it won’t be the last. If she’s worked in a customer facing role for 16 years then I’m sure she’s experienced worse than an elderly lady having a moan. I dread to think what she’d do if someone really kicked off at her. Oh hang on, she probably only does it to those she perceives as weaker, or more vulnerable than herself.

sakura06 · 31/03/2019 11:17

Definitely complain. That's absolutely shocking.

Handsoffmysweets · 31/03/2019 11:18

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Siameasy · 31/03/2019 11:21

She sounds U
I’d probably just write to the bank and complain because if she is that bad she might have had complaints before and maybe they want rid of her.
It sounds bonkers to chase people down the street
I’ve worked in public facing roles since 16 and had all sorts of nasty customers plus worked with some hideous staff. That’s the public for you-and she’s a member of the public too and some people are just dicks

Jamiefraserskilt · 31/03/2019 11:22

I would make an appointment with the branch manager and state your case. It is down to them if they dismiss, retrain, issue a warning or ignore. However, cctv will cover and running after you in the street, shouting and making a scene is not in their customer interaction manual and reflects badly on them all.
I dont care if there are two sides, she should not have shouted at you in the street.