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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Mothers Day

4 replies

user1497997754 · 31/03/2019 09:05

I am in a dilemma....I am the so called black sheep of the family and have always had a difficult relationship with my mum. I always send cards and presents for major events sometimes she will call and say thank you sometimes not and has on occasion has made out that she received nothing and o my when I have told her I have proof of posting and will get in touch with the post office they miraculously appear. I haven't been to see her for over a year as my MH just can't cope with her and the secrecy and drama. I am 100% better as a person without her in my life....she has disinhereted me and I am happy about it and have told her and my daughter who was present when she said this. Her and my sister have a very close relationship and I am very pleased for them although my mum runs my sister down which upsets me as my sister does everything she can. In the past she used to play us off against each other but I have little contact with either of them So don't get to hear the dramas which is great for me. I don't like phoning my mum because she probes about my personal business asking weird stuff for example how much money I have etc. Anyway me and my hubby are going to buy a property abroad in the next couple of months and will be moving early next year and I really don't know how to broach this with her....I haven't even told my daughter who is married with children as I am worried she will mention this to my mum and she will kick off. I wish things were better between us but they never were and never will.. I have no wish to see her again and I am sure she feels the same so just coming to terms with that really.

OP posts:
DontCallMeCharlotte · 31/03/2019 09:11

Well she's going to find out sooner or later but in the meantime I would say nothing and when it does come out and she kicks off just say "You reap what you sow" and walk away.

Good luck Smile

CalmdownJanet · 31/03/2019 09:16

The first thing that jumped out at me was how you say you can't stand the secrecy and drama with your own mother but then go on to say you are moving abroad but haven't told your own daughter in case she tells your mother. Does the secrecy aspect not seem a bit ironic to you?

I would say tell your daughter, get excited about your move, who cares what your mother says? You've already steppes away from the drama, stay away. I realise that's easy for me to say.

Definitely do not let your issues with your mother as a daughter become your issues as a mother with her own daughter.

DisplayPurposesOnly · 31/03/2019 09:21

It's really sad you haven't told your daughter! Please do that ASAP.

You can tell your mother yourself, or let her hear about it from someone else. Whatever suits you. If she's going to be difficult either way, then it doesn't really matter which way does it.

HappyDinosaur · 31/03/2019 09:27

I can't believe you haven't told your daughter, I would be so hurt. I can see it's tough but it's happening so you need to let everyone know, maybe your daughter mentioning it wouldn't be such a bad thing.

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