To wonder if I'm absolutely insane?

[Hwqueen]

Ok where to start.

I think there's something wrong with me...I'm a mum of two, I work a couple of days a week and I'm married- all fairly normal.

But recently I have come off my antidepressants and I have noticed a few things about myself that is odd. I can't stand silence. I have to be talking. This is the main problem.. I can talk and talk and talk...about anything and everything. I get bored really easily. Socially I an horrendous- I can talk to anyone but I am really blunt, then I overanalyse what I have said. For example I'm quiet happy to just say what others don't want to say, or talk about deep private issues with absolute strangers...the list goes on. I feel like I'm argumentative too. Last night i had some food at a friend's, and I was constantly on edge. I would say something and there would be this awkward silence and I'd think....Ah. not acceptable to say that then. Then a colleague at work was like please can you stop talking so much its exhausting..he said its like ive not spoken to another human in 7 years... and he is a blunt guy too so I get it. I feel like that though, like no one gets me. My husband works and honestly I have friends, but its just...a strange situation. I have always been this way, but I've carried it off as being a bit quirky and odd....but now I'm feeling really uncomfortable. It's exhausting, i just want to be normal.

If it's exhausting and troubling you I think you need to speak to the gp to get local mental health support. I've no idea what it could be, but you sound very similar to my oldest friend and my mum! My friend has adhd and a personality disorder, tells strangers very intimate things and gets very upset as she realises she says the wrong things to people but finds it very difficult to modify her behaviour. My mum has asd and talks constantly, mostly stream of consciousness style and doesn't appear to really listen/take in what other people say.

Do you have any therapy/support for your current mh diagnosis? Have you someone you can discuss your worries with?

Hi, thanks for your response.

Both my children have autism, and it's been alluded to the fact I have it but I've not been formally diagnosed. Apparently the drs say this isn't needed as it's not effecting my life enough. I've been to the drs numerous times and they pop me on pills for anxiety, and tell me to self refer for counselling.

I think I know there's something else going on with me but I don't even know where to start as I've tried to GP. Thanks again x

By the way I have tried the lets talk wellbeing service three times and it just doesnt help me.

Try reading up on ADHD as well as autism to see if any of it sounds familiar. I work with someone who talks nonstop and she has ADHD. The two conditions do often occur in the same family.

Tbh it could be a mix of things I think. Have you got the resources to see a psycotherapist for a few sessions?

Do you like your job and friends? Have you found your people? Or do you get frustrated by others lack of authenticity? I can sympathise with thinking you’ve said the wrong thing but most of the time you’re probably reading too much into their reaction. You sound like me the master of overthinking.

Apart from the talking much of what you describe is me. I only talk too much when I’m in social situations where I’m nervous.

I can't really afford private therapy, I have considered it. Maybe it is overthinking...I just want to be me really xx

You don't have to go private for therapy, n particular if you've made connections with autism the main autism groups will be able to point you to a counsellor. I am nearly the same AS in my family nd I've found I over analyse a lot and when I meet people I chat away way too much and at times they nearly run away. Definitely talk it over with someone and try to find a hobby that calms you too

Yep, I can identify with a lot of what you're saying. It does potentially sound like elements of Add/Asd, but with your kids diagnosis I'm guessing you know that.

It's not easy to know what can help. Maybe you could try practicing active listening in social situations, and mindfulness to help you feel relaxed and focused?

I've sent you a PM, OP