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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to give my details to the Russian government?

26 replies

YoniGetAnOohWithTyphoo · 30/03/2019 14:00

My mum has booked a Viking River Cruise to Russia, and as such needs a Russian visa. But the visa is asking for the details of her adult children, including name/date and place of birth, current address and passport numbers. Since I am not going to Russia, I really do not see why they need this information and I don’t want to give it. But if my mum’s visa is declined, Viking say they won’t refund her because it said in the small print you’re supposed to sort your visa before booking.

AIBU to think this is unfair? After all, I didn’t sign off on any small print, and it’s my personal details. Am I just being paranoid?

I feel this has put me in a really difficult situation as I don’t want to provide this information but I also don’t want to be to blame for my mum losing her money/holiday.

OP posts:
dinkydolphin · 30/03/2019 14:03

Could she just leave you off it? For all they know you two are estranged... just pretend you don't exist and she can put down your siblings.

CheekyChappy710 · 30/03/2019 14:04

Dinkydolphin has got it sorted. Honestly if the Russians wanted to find out about you they would anyway, they're probably already spying on you. So if it were me I'd just let her do it but each to their own.

Original poster
YoniGetAnOohWithTyphoo · 30/03/2019 14:43

She already told them at the first stage of the application that we exist, so apparently not an option.

And yeah i know if they really wanted to spy on me they could anyway but it’s just the principle of the thing, you know? Giving a hostile government that kind of info just feels really uncomfortable.

OP posts:
PlainSpeakingStraightTalking · 30/03/2019 14:46

What do you think they are gong to do with the information?

DisplayPurposesOnly · 30/03/2019 14:47

Visas are a governmental tit for tat. We make it hard for Russians to get a visa to visit the UK, they make it hard for us to go to them.

(Disclaimer: I went to Russia a few years ago and I'm not aware of being under scrutiny since then so at the very least they are discreet about it Wink)

MrsWillGardner · 30/03/2019 14:51

Could she put your name/dob and then put ‘unknown’ for the rest as it’s possible that she might not know the details if you were estranged?

Fcukthisshit · 30/03/2019 14:55

You need some perspective here. It’s a cruise. They’re not going to send spies to keep tabs on you. I hope you’ll be willing to refund your DM if she loses her money because you’re being awkward?

Ellisandra · 30/03/2019 15:00

Absolutely about tit for tat.
I’ve been getting Russian work visas for 6 years - the passport details of children only came in recently. (after Salisbury I think!) Finger printing came in around the time of different approaches to Syria.

I get you, I really do. But it’s data they get easily enough anyway so in this case, I’d just provide it.

AnnieOH1 · 30/03/2019 15:05

I wouldn't personally either, not for anyone. It isn't relevant. She can put the information she knows, and who is to say you even have a passport?

mynameiscalypso · 30/03/2019 15:05

My assumption is the Russian government could easily get hold of all the info they want about me and so I was happy to give my detail to my parents when they applied for a visa last year. They were told that they could just lie but none of us thought it was a big deal.

talkingjapeneseireallythinkso · 30/03/2019 15:23

if you work for MI5 / MI6 extra then i would be a bit more cautious, other than that...

HeathRobinson · 30/03/2019 15:57

Not everyone has a passport...Wink

filka · 30/03/2019 16:12

YABU - if you were applying for a visa for some exotic holiday and were asked for your parents names and dates and place of birth, would you think twice about filling it in, or give up on the holiday? It's asked on a visa application for overseas visitors to the UK.

notacooldad · 30/03/2019 16:16

I see where you are coming from but in your shoes I would do it for my mum.

WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue · 30/03/2019 16:52

I think you’re being utterly ridiculous.

BobbiPins · 30/03/2019 17:01

OP, if you don’t want to provide the info, you don’t have to. Your mother can write “don’t know”. It’s unlikely her visa is going to be rejected. Not all families are close. People still travel.

By the way, Canada asks all visitor visa applicant to provide detailed information on you siblings and half- siblings.

Original poster
YoniGetAnOohWithTyphoo · 31/03/2019 11:56

I think some of you are being super harsh. It’s the principle of the thing - if North Korea called and asked you for your details over the phone, would you just give them willy nilly? How about members of your family? After all, what’s the worst that could happen, right? Yes, I know nothing much is likely to happen to me. But I have no idea how this data is being treated or how long it is stored for. And i make no excuses for being cautious about that.

The point is, if you decide to sacrifice your own personal details so you can have a holiday, that’s fair enough, it’s your choice. But to sacrifice those of somebody else without permission- i think that’s wrong. I think it’s wrong to do it, I think it’s wrong of Viking not to warn people about it at the time of booking. So no, I will NOT be refunding my mother if her visa gets declined. Why on earth would I? And no, I would NOT disclose the information of my family without their permission to go on an exotic holiday. It’s called respect.

We’ve reached a compromise. I’m refusing passport number, and she’s putting down her own address as my address. Hopefully that works, but quite frankly if it doesn’t, I really don’t see it as my fault.

OP posts:
NooreMo · 25/03/2021 09:35

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

dancinfeet · 25/03/2021 09:51

I'm torn, on one hand it's just a cruise, I'm sure that the Russian government are not going to stalk you. On the other hand, you have the right to say no and your mum losing a deposit is not your problem, she should have followed correct booking procedures and looked into the visa first before paying for the trip.

ReverendRicketyCricket · 25/03/2021 09:54

This thread is two years old ffs. Looks like it's been bumped by someone looking for business.

ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE

FoonySpucker · 25/03/2021 11:14

@dancinfeet

I'm torn, on one hand it's just a cruise, I'm sure that the Russian government are not going to stalk you. On the other hand, you have the right to say no and your mum losing a deposit is not your problem, she should have followed correct booking procedures and looked into the visa first before paying for the trip.
:@dancinfeet

It was 2 years ago!
Pretty sure they managed to find a solution.

Brefugee · 25/03/2021 12:12

i wonder if OP has mysteriously disappeared? 2 years is a long time in the world of espionage

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 25/03/2021 12:36

@Brefugee

i wonder if OP has mysteriously disappeared? 2 years is a long time in the world of espionage
Grin

Ze OP is fine and very happy, Спасибо for asking.

WithTeaTree · 25/03/2021 12:39

To be honest, I’d just give them the details of my family. If they really wanted them they’d get them anyway. Also, what are they going to do with the details - ring my mum? Because trust me, they’ll hang up before she does.

Frickssake · 25/03/2021 13:30

######ZOMBIE THREAD####