Is it unreasonable to have a cleaner?

[HopeDog10]

I have a cleaner come to my house once a week. My friend thinks this is degrading for the woman. Is it really that bad?

As long as you are paying her the going rate it's not degrading.

I assume your friend cleans their own workplace toilets etc so as to not make someone feel degraded? If not they are a huge hypocrit.

I think your friend sounds pretty prejudiced tbh. Just because cleaning is traditionally considered women’s work doesn’t make it a degrading thing to do. As a PP asked, what is her position on window cleaners or gardeners, equally things you could do yourself but people often outsource.

Degrading to have an honest, paid job? What a bizarre thing to say.

Her judgement of other women and their jobs is the only degrading thing about your post.

Has she considered that cleaning is a flexible job and fits around other responsibilities that this woman might have?

No, ask her if a male gardener is degrading for men?

I’m a SAHM and have a cleaner (three DC including a toddler and a newborn).
She provides a service, sets her rates and I pay them. How is that demeaning?

No your friend is a snob.
Any family who is working full time, should have some outside help. They're under so much pressure, with work, family, running a house.
I cleaned houses when I was out of work, it is a very physically demanding job, like a 3 hour solid workout, I didn't bother me, I was proud of the shine, My customers were family and friends, the pressure it took off their relationship, having weekends free.

Well would she also say bin men are being degraded by the council? Or hotel / office / shop cleaners? What about people who shampoo your carpets or clear your garden?

My cleaner is lovely. She’s from Bolivia and she’s honest that her English isn’t good enough to work in a shop or something. She can talk to me in her language and all her jobs are by high recommendation. She’s on £15 per hour cash. No stress or dealing with anyone else in the job. She can set her own hours and be flexible if need be. She does 5 hours on Mondays and 5 more on Fridays. No tidying, beds or laundry - I do that. So that £150 per week, just from us and she has a couple more jobs so it’s really it’s not bad money at all when you add it all up. She has lunch here; sometimes she cat sits as she loves the cats. If she needs to miss a day, no problem.

Lots of people start their own cleaning businesses as it's easy to fit around school runs etc and you can choose the hours you work.

I'd call it enterprising and not degrading at all.

I think cleaners are much more respected now from previous years. They were treated as a servant, Nowadays a great cleaner is an asset to their employers life.
Their employer gets family time, the cleaner earns good rates, work hours around their lifestyle it is a win win contract.

Really odd attitude.

If you’re paying a fair wage and treating her well, nothing wrong with it.

If I could drive, I'd be a cleaner. I'm good at it, I'd be my own boss and I could probably earn more than I do now.
It'd feel far less 'degrading' than being sneered at, sworn at, felt up, propositioned and told I'm an upstart for following the law, for working behind the bar (one of my many duties but the one with most customer contact) my main duties are cleaning all public areas of the hotel, to a very high standard - because it has to be.
I hope your friend never uses pubs, hotels, restaurants or shops because they all have cleaners of some description...... And she contributes to the mess they clear up if she uses them.

It's only degrading if you treat her in a degrading way. I also agree that cleaning is a skill, one that I don't have. In two hours my cleaner can do what I would take 4 hours to accomplish. It's made me much less stressed knowing once a week the house is clean. I value her and she knows she's values and she's paid reasonably well I think (£13ph).

I do agree though that some people do treat cleaners (and anyone who they've paid) like servants and in that case yes it would be degrading.

No. It’s never unreasonable to have a cleaner if you can afford one & pay living wage, regardless of circumstances.

This is a particularly British oddity. In most other countries using your (limited) wealth to employ another is best thing you can use money for ethically. Why would it be better to spend it buying a thing that uses the planets resources or saving it where it won’t get spent. It’s a pro social thing!

I pay my cleaner more than I earn - I value what she does for me very highly. She is a self employed business woman who is very very good at what she does.

I think your friends attitude is the issue here.

My cleaner normally comes on a Saturday morning but she is poorly today 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 she is fab and makes my life much better

My friend is a cleaner and owns the company, she’s loaded and started cleaning as an outlet for her anxiety.
I can’t afford a cleaner but would definitely hire one if I could. Imagine denying people business that you require because you see the job they chose to do and are skilled at as degrading to them.

I used to think it was lazy to have a cleaner. I was wrong. It's giving employment to someone. It's not degrading in the slightest. Wish I could have one

We have just started using a cleaner. We pay her more an hour than I earn, how is that degrading?
She is helping my sanity, I have a 6 month old and have had pnd with my other children and I can feel familiar feelings creeping back. I am stressed and feel under pressure to keep a clean house depsite not actually having much baby free time. I do NOTHING for me. Having a cleaner will mean I can read a book for half an hour instead of using every free moment to clean the house, the difference that makes to my mental health is amazing. This woman (who has chossen to be a cleaner and is paid well for it) is making such a huge difference to us and I can't see how that could be classed as demeaning.

When I was younger I worked 2 cleaning jobs, one in a house and I never felt demeaned. Another was holiday lets and again I never felt demeaned apart from the time I walked in to find dog shit smeared all over walls and carpets - cleaning that up was bloody demeaning! But luckily something I only came across once, because normal people don't live like that and expect others ro clean up after them.

My cleaner is amazing, I pay her £12 an hour, so above NMW, she also employs a few other people now, two of whom are men (tell your friend to lose her sexists assumptions, they're degrading). I'm currently taking a cleaner break, I'm on mat leave and can't justify the cost, but I miss her. Roll on October when she comes back!

Are you polite to her? Do you pay her a fair wage on time?

Then YANU.

I love having a cleaner and I view it as skilled and valuable work.

No more degrading than any other service job..... Waiter/waitress, shop worker

MIL has that attitude. "I assume you won't need a cleaner once the baby is here". Thinks it is more demeaning for the woman who has a cleaner than for the cleaner. Still talks to the cleaner in a condescending way though.

One time my mother stood up for me was when mil was being dismissive about this. "Goodness Joan, did you bring up your Russell Group daughters to clean"
In context mother and MIL are 83 now and me and dh are pushing 60.

Grrrr.