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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To change my 17mo name.

16 replies

Wingingthis · 28/03/2019 22:15

In a state of PND & the crazy hormones you have post birth, I sort of ‘settled’ for a name that my DH loves and I was unsure of.
17 months down the line and I’m still waiting for her name to grow on me. :( I don’t hate it, I just don’t love it. I go through waves - sometimes I cringe when I say her name. It’s making me so sad.
Me & DH both love her middle name, AIBU to change her names around and start calling her by her middle name? Is she too old? Opinions please. I feel like it’s a weird thing to do at this age.

OP posts:
Original poster
Wingingthis · 28/03/2019 22:16

To be clear my DH didn’t realise that i didn’t love her original name!!

OP posts:
Horehound · 28/03/2019 22:20

I think it's been a bit too long to change it now.

Loftyswops988 · 28/03/2019 22:22

It depends, if its to use the middle name but not actually change her name legally I think that's fine, i know a few people who have used their middle names since they were young.

But if you do, do it sooner than later or she will be confused

Bigonesmallone3 · 28/03/2019 22:23

I also think it's an odd thing to do at this age, your child knows there name by now

pansydansy · 28/03/2019 22:25

I hated my eldest dc name. Refused to call her it for the first year. Love it now 17 years on.

Loved dc3 name when I named her. Hate it now.

Dh really dislikes our youngest dc'S name. 2 years on and he still can't get used to it.

My taste in names have changed over the years. I like unique names. Now I like old fashioned names.

All in all it's just a name and I wouldn't dream of changing their names.

Squigglesworth · 28/03/2019 22:25

Lots of people change their names or go by a nickname or middle name, at some point. Probably usually not until they're old enough to decide for themselves that they'd like a change, but I don't see a problem with calling her by her middle name.

If anyone asks, I'd just tell them the truth... or something like, "As she's gotten older, I just felt she was more of an 'A' than a 'B'." The worst they'll do is think it's a little odd for a while until the "new" name settles in and becomes hers, and who cares what people think, really?

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 28/03/2019 22:26

Friend of mine when I was at school went by her middle name, it was weird and confusing during exam times or whenever her official name needed to be used. I always thought it was v odd, apparently her mum named her x y and then from that very moment referred to her as y Hmm

bumblenbean · 28/03/2019 22:27

Hm not sure OP I think it’s a bit late. My son’s just turned 18 months and I can’t inagine changing his name now - he knows what his name is.

I’m a little the same as you with Dd’s name funnily enough. I do love it but I think I prefer her middle name - we were just really indecisive at the time! But I’m getting used to it and I’m sure you will. As long as you don’t actively dislike it I think it’s best to leave it.

Almost40andweeping · 28/03/2019 22:29

My best friend is 50 and has always been known as her middle name. Call your babe what you want.

Mine is called Ava. I fucking hate it. She’s almost 14. It wanst common when she was born. I’d change it tomorrow.

Alyx80 · 28/03/2019 22:29

I’d change it, she’s still young and will accept it easily.

JustTwoMoreSecs · 28/03/2019 23:10

My DH goes by his middle name as his parents just called him that (they disagreed on the 1st / 2nd name). I wished they did change it officially, it makes things a bit complicated as he has to remember to use his «correct» name for official things. So I would say, yes change it Smile

Tunnockswafer · 28/03/2019 23:14

I don’t love dc1’s name. At 12 it’s probably too late to change it. I love him though so his name isn’t that important.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 28/03/2019 23:15

It depends on what her two forenames are, but a previous thread from a parent with similar name regret suggested double barrelling the names when addressing the child for a while then gradually dropping the first name

Ariela · 28/03/2019 23:23

It seems to be a thing in our family: my dad, his dad, his mother, my mother one of my brothers and a sister ALL were/are called by their middle names.
So perfectly reasonable, but don't be surprised if schools get it wrong and refer by first name from time to time.

TheDarkPassenger · 28/03/2019 23:27

I don’t like my eldests name... I didn’t name him but I know how you feel.. he’s too old to change it now though he’s 10Grin most of the time I don’t notice but sometimes I’m like eeeeek I wish I could have named him! I kept thinking it would grow on me but it really really hasn’t... however I love him more than I’m bothered about a silly name so it doesn’t matter... my advice is change to the middle but don’t change it officially.. just gently introduce it. We interchange my middle sons first and middle name, he answers to both!

MumUnderTheMoon · 28/03/2019 23:32

Leave her name as it is but use her middle name. It's not unheard of. When/If you register her for school/nursery there will be a place on the paper work for the name they use.

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