To tell the ex wife?

[Doubleohseven]

Excuse my naivety around HPV, it was unheard of when we were getting educated on smear testing/cervical cancer

The relationship with my ex is a whoooole thread in itself, so I'll stay away from other details not relevant to the point of this thread.

Last year I found out my OH at the time was married. Found out by the wife contacting me. Ended things right away with ex, kicked him out, haven't spoken to him since - all good. She also divorced him. A few years ago I had a smear which tested positive for HPV and abnormal cells which I had LLETZ for and cells were CIN3. I'd been with my ex a few months before I had this smear. Went for my routine one last week at which the nurse explained HPV is 'spread' much like an STD. Again, please excuse my ignorance but I hadn't known this. My question is, should I tell the ex wife this? She's such a lovely lady and I don't want to dredge up all the hurt again by contacting her, but now I'm terrified she's not keeping up with her smears and I've passed on HPV which could potentially lead to cancer?

Now I'm typing it, it does seem daft - surely now she knows beyond all doubt her exH was a cheat, she should be in charge of her own check ups, STI and smears... right?? Or just she deserve me spelling it out what he could have passed on?

[HenSolo]

There is no harm in telling her - you say she is a lovely woman so I’m sure she will understand you getting in touch.
I think it will play on your mind if you don’t, so bite the bullet!

[Stormwhale]

I think you should definitely get in touch with her if you haven't already. I would just lay out the facts that he is the most likely person to give you the HPV, and explain what it has caused to happen in your case. I would then Express concern that you didn't want her to accidentally miss a smear not knowing she could be at a higher risk of abnormal cells too. Then leave it to her.

Sorry you were fooled by a waste of space man.

[Dramatical]

I think what you need to consider is how the information would benefit her. Will her GP treat or test her? Or literally wait until her next smear is due? If the former; then yes, tell her. If it won't make any difference medically, no need to say anything.

Perhaps someone medically qualified could tell us what would happen if the Ex wife turned up at the doctor with this knowledge?

[Doubleohseven]

I've just sent the email. As I've said, my worry is she's behind on her smears. It MIGHT be the push she needs to go for one, at worst she's annoyed I've made contact.