AIBU to want a week off work with stress?

[Namechangedtoprotect]

I have no idea how this works, before I have always worked regardless. I feel I can't keep going into the office, it's too much for me. My heart hurts, it hurts to breathe, I've stopped sleeping. Every little task seems to push me over the edge, I feel I'm pushing a rock up the hill and the hill keeps getting steeper. I've spoken to mangers about this and they say there is nothing they can do. Would I be unreasonable to see the doctor today, explain this and hope I get a week off work to recover and get my health back (and also look for a new job). I've started wishing I was probably ill again so I can go to hospital for a break. I think I have lost track of what's normal. I've been at 120% since January and I'm hitting my busy period now.

@Namechangedtoprotect

Sounds like you need more than a week off sweetheart.

You sound TERRIBLE.

I hope you get the help you need, and yeah, do go to the doctors.

All the best. ❤️

Once you have been signed off with stress your health records will show this. It means if you ever try to get life insurance or income protection there is then a whole list of conditions they don’t cover because apparently they are linked! Things like any mental health condition, CFS, ME. I learned the hard way and wish I had just self certified rather than got the GP to sign me off.

Hi @Namechangedtoprotect

A couple of years ago I went into see my GP before going in to work as I was feeling tired and breathless. I thought I had the remains of a chest infection I'd already had medication for beforehand.

I was immediately referred to hospital A&E as my blood pressure and pulse rates were sky high and the GP was suggesting I was in danger of a heart attack/stroke. I didn't want to go as I was into final preparation for an important conference that week I'd been working on for months.

At A&E I was triaged and on a ward within about an hour/90 mins.

I spent the rest of the day/evening being monitored and was given a bed in an ambulatory emergency care ward but allowed by the consultant to go home late evening after a blood thinning injection with the proviso I came back for tests the next morning.

I was up very early the next morning to prepare my final papers and handover my responsibilities to my boss and others and was back in hospital the next morning.

That episode really brought home to me (and emphasised by the doctor who signed my release) that you really need to take care of yourself first in order to take care of anyone/thing afterwards. Few of us are SO indispensable that we need to put our own health at risk.

Ask for help wherever possible and take care OP.

Sorry "and was back in hospital the next morning" - that should read the SAME morning

Self certify for a week and in that week go and see your GP for a Fit Note for longer time off - you clearly need longer than a week off. Dont feel bad about doing it, it happens to the best of us and you need to protect your longer term health. Take care of yourself

If you are working at 120% and can't have a holiday for 60 days, then that's the fault of your employer, and in no way can they get unreasonable about you having time out sick.

Sounds like you and your employer need a wake up call.

If they do get arsey, they are simply a poor employer. Lifes too short to work for organisations that ignore staff wellbeing.

go and see your GP, don’t even bother with self cert. I hope with a little time off you feel better and find a new fantastic job. I’ve been there, driving to work and hoping someone crashes into me and causes me an injury that allows me to be off work- you are wishing yourself an illness-see your GP ASAP. They may initially sign you off on a week to week basis, just to check how you are doing, but it sounds like you need more than a week off.

YANBU please see your GP as soon as you can. Like a PP said, don't settle for a routine appointment because the sooner you get signed off the better.

Take longer than a week also, it'll be what you need to recharge a little bit and relax. I've been where you are and it's not nice.

Good luck and take care

I'm currently signed off with stress and anxiety.
I didn't self certify, I got a note on day 2. Doctor was brilliant, and work have been good too.

I can't take annual leave as there is work to do

There is always work to do, part of your work is to learn to say no rather than piling up on things. The best advice I have got from a boss, which I ended up repeatingly using with her as well was to say “You have asked me to do this, and this and that, which I can do but not in the requested timeframe, which one do you want me to prioritise?” Or “My time is taken by x,y & z but can have look at this on (insert day next week), would that work for you?” If they say no revert to question 1.

Be also aware of yourself, good enough is good enough, I am currently dealing with a stressed employee who has been offered any kind of help to make things easier for her but that she refuses to use because she can do it better. The thing is, it does NOT need to be done “better” just done but she wants it just as she would do it and refuses to handover any part of the job no matter how simple the part is. It is incredibly frustrating, she says to feel exploited and unsupported but she is digging herself into her own stress due to her unwillingness to delegate.

I know I have done the same as her in the past, perfectionism drives more people to suicide than nothing else. You need to put yourself first, better to self certify or take that holiday now rather than end up affected by stress to such point you are no longer able to work.

Stress is a horrible thing with physical symptoms. Yes, absolutely phone in sick. Explain you won't be in for the week. Go to the doctors and tell them your symptoms, that it is work related, and importantly what you intend to do with your time off, as if you show you are actively seeking help with the stress and are looking for a career change to end it, they will likely sign you off for as long as you need. This will give you enough time to recover mentally, feel like you can relax a little, and make plans to move jobs.

I have done this just this week. I was having headaches, heart palpitations and not sleeping, and not able to focus and panicking at everything. Work haven't adjusted my workload or made any adjustments or taken any action to help alleviate this, so the only thing I could do was to take myself out of the situation and not go in.
It took me a good few days to even just calm down enough to relax and not worry about work. Definitely take at least a week.
Your work should be doing more to help you.
PM me if you'd like any advice having been there this week myself x

OK, I made the call and am seeing a doc later, am wfh today so should be able to go without being noticed. (I've been online since 7 to deal with yesterday's issues). I did get the least sympathic doctor at the surgery so I'm worried about that.

I would personally develop odd flu like illness or something similar and just self very for a week.

I’ve been there I deeply wish I’d done something similar at the time recover. No one will benefit if you carry one like this.

Obviously it depends on your company, but I wouldn’t lie and say you have ‘flu-symptoms’ etc. If your company takes sickness seriously, they will be more moved to make active changes around stress if there’s an increase in reporting of stress.

Well done OP in making the appointment. Good luck, make sure that you don't underplay your problems, especially the physical symptoms.
Please let us know how you get on.
I'm off with stress and anxiety at the moment, send me a personal message if you would like. We could be work-related stress buddies.

OMG - are you my Boss?

Even if you're not the way that work are refusing to shoulder any responsibility when they have a duty of care is shocking - and nothing is every worth sacrificing your health for. Plus the longer you go on 'coping' the less impetus there on them to change.

Sadly so many places are just rotten to the core, so take the time, regroup and then try and find somewhere else that isn't rotten, I belive such places do exist

“Nothing we can do” is not an acceptable answer from your employer.

Once you have got some breathing space via the GP, you need to speak to HR.

OP, please please please take some time off. I have been where you are. I used to think about driving my car into a wall so I could just not have to go to work, or hoping I’d fall down the stairs for the same reason. My then boss once said to me “unless you’re dead, I expect you to be working, you can still check emails from a hospital bed”.

It took me 4 years, losing my hair, suffering from IBS and bad bad depression (I was having CBT and my counsellor contacted my GP saying she was worried I was at risk of suicide as I had just presented so badly one particular day) before I convinced myself that life was too short and best decision I ever made - in that job I was constantly sick and now barely ever need to go to the doctors. I now have a life.

Please, take some time off and get a new job x

Sympathies OP. I remember feeling like that and actually wishing I could get properly ill or injured enough to feel I could stay at home for a few weeks. Management did nothing, despite me raising it at every supervision/appraisal meeting. I ended up taking early retirement. Luckily I was old enough to not lose out too much. I just do agency temping working now and pick and choose my jobs.

Your manager's sole priority is getting the work done, your sole priority must be to yourself and to get well.

Of course you need to see the doctor and have a week off (and look for a new job if this is what you need) You can't possibly carry on as you are.I am sorry it is so hard at the moment, but hopefully with some time off you will start to feel better.

I've spoken to mangers about this and they say there is nothing they can do

Call ACAS today. Your job should not make you ill.

OK doctor said heart and lungs were OK, but wants me to have blood tests and an ecg to make sure. I cried in the appointment which was embarrassing but I couldn't stop. Dh came with me and asked for time off for me. I have a week off for stress and some anti depressents

Glad appointment well well. If you feel the stress is affecting all areas of your life and you would benefit then please do take them.

If, however, you are OK other than work decide whether you want to take them just to get through work. If changing jobs is a viable option it may be worth considering that first.

Of course if you need them then for goodness sake please do take them

You need longer than a week off OP, that is quite clear from what you have been saying. There is no shame in being ill. I work in HR and see this all the time. PLEASE dont try and rush back to work, you need to take the time to heal and get better. No one is indispensable - they will just have to cope without you!

Hi again. Yes, glad it went well. It does sound like you needmuch longer than one week. I went back too soon and then felt like I was back at square one. I'm off for a further 3 weeks now. Also, you need to make sure that you're ok with the anti depressants, they might have side effects, and also you need time for them to kick in. I'd make an appointment to see your 'favourite' GP next time. I'm sure that your tests will be fine. I had the samephysical symptoms, as well as being physically sick on the way home from work and in the morning. My doctor said it was an 'acute reaction to work related stress'.