to think he shouldn't change the locks?

[BrandyMyLove]

Sorry I know this is my second post today but I'm really, really struggling

I left my partner a while back (few weeks) and was meeting up with him regularly afterwards so he could see DC. As soon as I said no or disagreed with something he suggested he would get nasty. I am now not seeing him at all and he is therefore no seeing DC. This is his doing and I do not feel safe around him. He was incredibly psychologically abusive towards me throughout our relationship.

He now thinks I'm awful for not meeting up with him on his terms and is of course angry that he's having to go through court to see DC (he has made threats towards me and displayed some odd behaviours).

I went back to our jointly owned house whilst he was at work to get some things. I didn't tell him I was going for the reasons stated above. I went in, got some of my things (as much as I could fit in the car) and left. I didn't snoop, I didn't touch his things. He had destroyed personal things. Letters, photos, things dear to me. He's also refusing to tell me where some of my property is (it actually belongs to work and they will want to know where it has gone).

He's messaged me telling I'm a pathetic excuse for a woman and that he's going to change the locks.

I'm drained. I'm so tired by it all. Can he change the locks legally? Physically I know he can but now I can't access the house unless I ask him and he's there. He will continue to abuse me.

I think I'm developing PND. I'm really struggling. I'm anxious and I think I'm going to end up not a well person.

Can anyone, anyone help me? What do I do?

Oh man, think I'm posting at the wrong time to get many responses. But that's ok, I'll try again tomorrow 🙈

You really need to get Womens Aid and the police involved, especially now he has destroyed your belongings. Stop trying to manage him alone, he isn't prepared to be reasonable.

Hey, it's OK, try not to panic.
Legally you have to have access because it's also yours. If he does change the locks then I would assume you could obtain a court order or something to get you access.

If you speak to women's aid they can help arrange a police escort for you to.go in and retrieve as much stuff as you can, safely.

It won't be PND as such, it'll be anxiety and probably PTSD caused by the abuse and the awful situation you're in. I'm guessing you're probably struggling to eat and such at the moment, full of adrenaline?

You're not alone and I've heard you xxx

Thanks both. I don't know if the police would be interested in a couple of destroyed photos, and a personal letter ripped in half, that kind of thing? He's also saying he doesn't know where some of my things are even though I knew exactly where I left them. He will just say I've lost them. I'll never be able to prove it even though I knew where they were left.

I can't even get in the house now and can't afford a locksmith. To be honest I would be scared that going in the house again would upset him even more. I might just have to leave my things.