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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To hate the expression "University of Life"

104 replies

cantonwanton · 27/03/2019 20:26

Every time I hear or see this on facebook or in real life, I want scream or head butt someone.

NO. You are not special of having lived, we all have, graduates included.
It's some sort of snooty DailyFailesque phrase, of elevating one's self-importance.

It's demeaning to those who actually studied for a degree and got one. I have no issue at all with people not having degrees, so stop trying to pretend you have one, and somehow by having lived you are more experienced/knowledgeable than the rest.

OP posts:

SelkieRinnNaMara · 27/03/2019 22:16

Well your husband is one person, like I am. I know I've sensed embarrassment on my behalf. But I take it as a kind of compliment, like, if they thought I was thick they wouldn't encourage me to offer up some explanation. I don't get offended or defensive. I'm saying that I understand why people feel the need to say this. It is less blunt than a flat "no". I hear it differently to most on this thread though. I hear it as owning your path. My parents both went to university and I didnt, so possibly I was gently questioned more than most. But it isn't the right choice for everybody, especially not immediately after school. I can imagine relishing the learning now but it wouldn't have been right for me after school. It is often a lazy shorthand for clever though.

Petitprince · 27/03/2019 22:19

Sure sign of a wanker.

lillymunster · 27/03/2019 22:25

I usually take it to mean that the person has a chip on their shoulder about the fact that they haven't been to university. It's stupid really, it doesn't matter whether someone has been or not, it doesn't make you better or worse than other people in everyday life.

Userisi · 27/03/2019 22:25

@SelkieRinnNaMara I think it's down to one's perception of uni. I only went as I had to for the job I wanted, I hated almost every second of it, it was a means to an end. I am very much in awe of people who carve successful career paths without it, so perhaps that's why DH and I are less sensitive to it. But I still think the phrase is pretty lame, it just seems an attempt to justify something that doesn't need justification.

x2boys · 27/03/2019 22:32

I don't think they are try g to pretend they have a degree because everyone knows the university of life isn't actually a university,I take it mean just because they didn't go to university doesn't mean they are thick.

SmallFastPenguin · 27/03/2019 22:42

OP, if someone says it do you reply "That's not a real university you thicko, you couldn't get a degree like what I have got, so suck on that you uneducated Brexiteer."?

6monthsin · 27/03/2019 22:48

YANBU OP. Total reverse snobbery/superiority. Ugh.

Nettlescoop · 27/03/2019 22:57

It's well worn, unimaginative and grating - can't someone think up another mildly humorous way of saying "No I didn't go to university"? Offers?

malificent7 · 27/03/2019 22:59

Well there is only one university after all...

Tbh i have been thinking about how useless my first degree has been recently and how some of the wealthiest i know did vocational courses.
Uni is not a golden ticket...and im on my 2nd degree!

malificent7 · 27/03/2019 23:01

Loving the blatant class snobbery on here! Hilarious and unconcealed! Not.

twattymctwatterson · 27/03/2019 23:06

To be fair op I don't like it either but you're coming off like you see yourself as very superior here.

Loreleilee1 · 27/03/2019 23:20

I graduated from the university of life. Grew up in extreme poverty. A mother with mental health issues and a dad who beat me with a belt every day. Social services monitored me most of my childhood. Needless to say i did badly at sch and left home at 16 with no qualifications. Got a full time admin job then got a second eve job running concurrently with my main job. Scraped enough together to rent a bedsit and buy my own car. Worked my way up in my job , promoted many times and carved a career. Purchased my first property at 24. 24 yrs later i have my own business and own a large home outright.

I think what people mean by university of life when they say it is that they did it themselves without any help, from anyone. No loving families to support, nurture,finance, house or guide them.

I went to the sch of hard knocks and graduated from the university of life and i understand that to mean that i had an appalling childhood but made the best of it.

When i hear people say they have been to hard knock sch and uni of life what they really mean is they have a crap time they they can't bring themselves to talk about yet but they did well all the same. They are saying I'm ok and i'm here and i did ok , in the absence of a loving family , secure home and financial assistance.

Original poster

cantonwanton · 27/03/2019 23:28

loreleilee1, whilst I congratulate you and commend you for the success you've made out of a bad start, you have still just lived. You haven't studied at university, you have found your way through life very well, but still, you have not gone to university

OP posts:

Original poster

cantonwanton · 27/03/2019 23:31

Absolutely university isn't the golden ticket. My grandfather came here aged 17 barely being able to speak English, having fled Russian anti semitism. He set up a business and did well for himself, not once did he claim to have gone to "university of life". In fact, he'd probably been more successful than graduates as he hadn't had that clear advantage.

What my rambling point is trying to make... is that people who haven't had the chance/ability to go to university shouldn't feel the need to make up for it!

OP posts:

Loreleilee1 · 27/03/2019 23:33

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

springbreak3 · 27/03/2019 23:34

It IS a bit annoying.

Even more annoying is;

Occupation: 'Full Time Legend.' full time cunt more like.....

llangennith · 27/03/2019 23:37

Loreleilee1 my upbringing was similar. I left home at 18, pregnant. No support. Married, divorced, brought up three DC alone and did all kinds of jobs around that. Cleaning, typing, called bingo numbers: anything to earn a bit of extra cash to supplement benefits. But it wasn't the University of life. It was struggling. I'm proud of getting through it. But I'm even more proud that my 3DC have degrees and at 45 I got a degree too. There is no university of life.

gluteustothemaximus · 27/03/2019 23:38

Agree. Only wankers say that.

My parents have that on their Facebook info.

Yes, they also read the Daily Mail and voted leave

Loreleilee1 · 27/03/2019 23:40

@llangennith i did not say there was. I suggested that when people use the phrase they mean something broader.

NameChanger22 · 27/03/2019 23:41

I think it is usually said by people who have a bit of a chip on their shoulder. People who between the ages of 18 and 21 realise they might actually be missing out on something important or fun.

Most university of life students could have gone to actually university if they hadn't spent their teen years hiding behind the bike shed with a fag, thinking they already know everything there is to know.

Loreleilee1 · 27/03/2019 23:43

@NameChanger22 or they could have been hurriedly escaping physical violence... while lighting their fag!

MatthewBramble · 27/03/2019 23:44

It's a cringeworthy phrase, but to say it's demeaning to people who have or are studying for a degree is ridiculous.

I could not have put it better myself!

dreichuplands · 27/03/2019 23:54

My MIL says it, she is actually a really nice person but I think feels a bit insecure about her lack of education.

PerpendicularVincent · 27/03/2019 23:56

Absolutely no need to call anyone a wanker for having a different opinion.

Many people have tough times and overcome huge obstacles. That's down to their strength and determination- the university of life is a meaningless term for something that doesn't exist.

iwantatattoo · 28/03/2019 00:16

Some of the graduate snobs on this thread have shocking grammar and punctuation.
You don't know who you are.

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