To be pissed off?

[Hafa9141]

So to make a long story short.... my mother is obsessed with my brother in law (they have become very close, so much so that people think their having an affair, even my dad has started drinking more which we all think is to cope with it).
ANYWAY.... BIL has just bought a new house as he is recently divorced, it needs work doing such as new kitchen etc.
I work at a small firm and one our clients is a property developer. We're having a catch up one day and he's telling me about his new house and he's excited for his kitchen to be completed etc.
When I mention BIL starting his kitchen, he says "oh I get 70% off at ..... through my company tell him to order it through me and I'll just invoice him through the company"
WIN WIN!
So I tel BIL about this and he's happy to be using the kitchen company as its known for being really high quality.
I mention it to my mother on the phone and say "I will probably go with BIL and make sure he tells the staff at the kitchen place the info they need so .... doesn't reject the order"
She is VERY jealous and possessive of BIL and has told other BIL the name of the company and told him to order the kitchen.
He told me this last night after we all went out for dinner (without my mother, which she was also pissed off about us not rearranging as she couldn't make it last night) and I am RAGING!!
I told MY client that I would email or text him with the details of the kitchen and BIL details so he wouldn't reject it from the kitchen company.
The thing I am pissed off about is that I wasn't told about this and my client may have got a call at the weekend from the kitchen company and not be happy that I haven't contacted him BECAUSE I WASN'T TOLD ABOUT THEM ORDERING THE KITCHEN.
AIBU??
Sorry to make it a long post but I needed to give some vital details this is still a stripped back version of the story.

In future don’t tell your mum anything?

I actually seem to have lost the will to live trying to understand that.

So your BIL went direct to the kitchen company without going through you and your client? Is that right?

Are you angry because you didn't get a percentage cut of the deal?

I can't know why you are mad 🤷🏻‍♀️

Is it the BIL, your mother, the client or the kitchen company?

I've read this 7 times now and I still have no idea what you mean, why your mother offended you and why anyone would think your mother and BIL (your sisters ex-husband due to the divorce?) were having an affair?

Glad it's not just me who doesn't understand it.

I do wonder if OP is one of those people, though. She had a thread last year about beginning to despise her mother, another one complaining that her parents in laws were hoarders (most on reading the thread thought otherwise) and another about her boss.

It's not that hard to understand. BIL gets a discount IF the OP emails her client the kitchen details and he puts through the order. BIL – at Mum's instigation – has contacted the kitchen company directly, cheekily asking for the client's discount, without a heads up to OP or the client. When client hears about it, they'll contact OP and consider her to be the CF.

I don't understand why everyone thinks Mum and BIL are having an affair tho.

She is VERY jealous and possessive of BIL and has told other BIL the name of the company and told him to order the kitchen.

No, burrito, there seem to be two BiLs, if I'm reading this bit correctly...? Is the OP cross because her mother went off with a different BIL to get the discount kitchen, not the BIL the OP was talking to?

my mother is obsessed with my brother in law

this is your husbands brother or your sisters ex husband?

Have you been on morning TV to unravel this?

Is it the OP's sister's ex? How does she feel about all this contact?

I think there are two BIL as OP mentions her mum telling "other" BIL. So maybe one was supposed to get the discount but mum told the other one who got it instead?

I don't really understand, it seems one of two brother In laws went directly to thr client and not through you? Is this correct?

You all seem very much in each other’s pockets. It’s unsurprising there are these ridiculous arguments.

How many bil's are there?

Eh?

Sorry this is very confusing I will use initials as there are 3 men and my mother involved. my fiancé S has an elder brother P and another K.
K is newly divorced. He has just bout a house and is having kitchen renovated.
A client of mine at work said "order through my company account and I will get 70% off for him" (because he's a lovely guy, no benefit to me)
K is excited about this and I tell him ok let me know once you've ordered and I will tell client so he doesn't reject the order (plus it's an opportunity to thank him)
My mother is very possessive of K and has spoken to P (who she also is quite close with) to order the kitchen and not involve name at all.
I'm mainly pissed off as client would be getting a call to authorise the order and might think how rude I didn't tell him about it.
My mother made a face when I said myself and fiancé were going kitchen shopping with K as we are looking for a new kitchen ourselves.

@ShatnersWigIsActuallyAMammoth what do you mean "one of those people" based on my previous posts?

@burritofan that's what I was trying to say.

In terms of the affair, she would rather message him at 3am on Christmas day than be drunk partying with my dad. That sort of thing?
The messaging is 24 hours a day every single day and she almost always instigates it.

Why is P getting involved in K's kitchen? How does your mum even know your fiances brothers, let alone be so close to them? I've been with DH for 17 years and mum only met his brother once on our wedding day. All a bit weird.

@Justonemorepancake
P and K are very close in age and he doesn't really have anybody else they are best friends.
When K was freshly split I said to him "my mum used to run a family/divorce law firm I'll put you in touch with her to help"
That was nearly 3 years ago and he goes round for dinner 2 nights a week and his kids call her Aunty
It is all very wierd and really affecting my relationship with my own in laws!!

I'd be having a strong word with your mum about boundaries. It's affecting her relationship with your dad, with your in-laws... it's all really inappropriate.

And if she won't listen then have a word with K.

Off-topic, but who's awake at 3am on Christmas Day except Father Christmas?

@Justonemorepancake I have skirted around the subject with her as she can play the victim when doesn't get what she wants.
Have asked my dad if it bothers him and he said no but we can see it really affects him as she often goes out with K for the afternoon and leaves dad at home alone.
They fell out when on a skiing holiday together recently and claim they are talking less but who knows what "less" means.