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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Booking secondary school parents evening appointments. What the fuck just happened?

118 replies

BoobiesToTheRescue · 26/03/2019 20:07

It was switched in at 8pm tonight.
I got in there at 8pm because I have a baby who has no interest in parents evening and likes to make his distaste known.

By 20.05 all the appointments for all the subjects had gone.

I managed to get a few in there but what the hell?!

Is this how it works?! (He's Y7, this is all new to me.)

OP posts:
SarfE4sticated · 27/03/2019 18:12

So just to clarify as I will be a Y7 mum next year, you don't have to see every teacher? Do you get an overview from the form teacher instead and only see the subject teachers if you fancy it?

Aragog · 27/03/2019 18:26

DD's school had an online booking system and that did work very well. We never actually saw every teacher in KS3. We just selected the key ones and was online to book once they went online. Always got the appointments needed fortunately.

At the actual evening it was run like a military operation. Appointments were for 4 minutes, every 6 minutes apart. A bell went off at the start of each new appointment and teachers would stand and finish a meeting if still with someone. They'd only see you out of turn if there was definitely no one waiting who had that slot. If you missed a slot you had to wait until they had a space, or wait til the end of the evening and see if they had time to see you then. It seemed really strict initially - but it worked and kept everything on track, thats for sure.

You were told in advance that the appointment was for subject specific stuff only, and any longer problems had to be dealt with at another time or with a pastoral teacher - they were there on the night and available to see on a first come basis.

A friend's childs school doesn't have appointments. You just turn up and queue for each teacher as and when you like.

Aragog · 27/03/2019 18:28

SarfE4sticated

We got progress cards from each subject about a week or two before the parent's evening.

Only time we saw the form tutor, who didn't teach dd a subject, was at the initial welcome meeting in the Y7 September.

I can't see the point in seeing the form tutor who just has a general overview. they may as well just send the overview home written up. Teacher will only be reading from a sheet - I can do that myself.

SarfE4sticated · 27/03/2019 18:40

Aragog ahh that's useful, I hadn't realised they sent a report home. Would it also cover how they're settling in?

Intheriver · 27/03/2019 18:42

I'm a teacher in secondary and I feel really sorry for the parents. My first parent's evening was a shock and I'm the teacher!

Dutifully made bookings for all my students. Then pretty much it was a free for all, students just arriving at different times. I gave up following an order and just yelled "next!" In the end! Other subjects run late, others run early and you are all trying to see people. What a bloody nightmare.

I'm chilled out now. If I see students waiting around that I have a later appointment with and I'm free I will fetch them and do it early. Just helps the flow.
As a parent you might be able to just go and pop to see other teachers, even if you aren't on the list. My school are very accommodating though because we have to work hard to get appointments with our parents.

moon2 · 27/03/2019 18:58

First couple of years the teachers give them the appointment slots then by yr 10 and 11 the kids book the slots with the teachers and choose what suits us best.

Pigflewpast · 27/03/2019 19:18

Our online system opens at 9am on a Thursday morning, always, “ to make it fair for all parents”. Erm yes that’s fair for the many parents who are at work with no access to their phone/ computer at 9am. I usually have the form filled out so just have to press “go” as soon as it opens so get who I want. It does it all for you, so it’s great, IF you can get online at 9am.
The night itself is a bit like I imagine speed dating, teachers at tables in the hall and parents playing musical chairs to beat each other to them and then having to sort who was due first.
My advice is only see any whose lessons your child is struggling in, plus one who will big them up to feel good!

underneaththeash · 27/03/2019 19:35

WE have the same and online system and you just need to be quick!

Our (only) year 7 parents evening was 6 weeks after they started and as DS was well behaved and fairly quiet most of the teachers had little or no feedback for us. Although it did alert us to the fact that some of the teachers were really not great. Year 8 was better, but we still didn't get to see the science teacher (who was understandably on paternity leave) however he still hasn't emailed us back and as DS is interested in science at Uni it is fairly important.

bananafish · 27/03/2019 19:58

It's a nightmare at ds1's school; an online booking system which invariably crashes 5 minutes after it opens due to not being able to cope with the sheer weight of traffic.

And to add insult to injury, the bloody school then closes for the entire day for this event. Plus they make you attend with your child, which isn't awkward at all....

I have to take a day off because he's too young to leave alone at home on his own. Three times a year!

Daphnesmate · 27/03/2019 20:21

Yes, this happened to me, I didn't understand the fact that appointments had been booked a.s.a.p., whereas some parents knew this and were quick off the mark and dd didn't get a single appointment!
Anyhow, I e-mailed a couple of her teachers and probably got more feedback this way, still it would have been nice to have a met a few of them and very frustrating that there weren't enough appointments - these schools must know that there aren't enough appointments to go around

simiisme · 27/03/2019 20:22

I'm a secondary school teacher. Our school has an electronic booking system and the parents choose their slots. It runs from 4pm - 7pm.
There are always latecomers & no-shows and I always invite parents without appointments to jump in if there are any gaps.
Parents who cannot attend generally contact their child's Head of House (we don't have Heads of years) & subject teachers are asked to write a few lines about how their child is doing. We all do this happily, especially if it means fewer appointments on the night.
Hope that helps

Bikkigirl · 27/03/2019 20:22

Our DC have to make their own appointment but the teachers with more than one class have a hit list of kids whose parents they want to see and then the rest (if there are any) get opened up to everyone. I tend to email teachers if it looks as if there are issues when interim grades are released. I’m always grateful not to be on the hitlist with DC2 as DC1 often was!

OhTheRoses · 27/03/2019 20:32

Parents' evening: email received about 6 weeks beforehand. We were allowed to select 5 teachers/subjects and form tutor. If more required, school slotted in - school made that choice.

10 minute slots with a change bell after each 10 minutes. Parents were sent their allocated arrival time and checked the detailed plans for their appointment time, table number teachers sat at. Sometimes there was a 10/20 minute break between apts. There was no forgiveness if parents missed a slot.

There were tea, coffee, juice, water, wine and biscuits served.

Excellent system but the fees were £18k pa. When dd attended a state secondary in y7 it was a shambles. Once didn't expect the hospitality ut the organisation should have been achievable. I think there were even more office staff. There was a suggestion to provide tea and coffee but evidently school support staff could not possibly be paid to do this, even from pta funds, because it was unreasonable for them to give up an evening. Reasonable however to ask for £300 donations from parents though to be spent on activities one's own children did not participate in and enjoyed by those who continually disrupted lessons, whose parents almost certainly did not contribute

LadyOfTheFlowers · 27/03/2019 20:40

In response to OP - Yes that sounds normal. They open the thing up and if you're not in within 20 minutes you're stuffed.
I've got one in Y9 too. Last year I booked for maths, English and science as if I book any more, experience has taught me that I will end up being at the school for around 3 hours as it all runs so far behind with people not moving on after their slot. If you don't take your child to identify the teachers you miss slots as the teacher doesn't know who you are and vice versa. Also, last time I booked the big 3, by the time the evening had rolled round, 2 teachers had cancelled anyway so I cancelled the one remaining one I had left myself. Shambles.

Bookworm01 · 27/03/2019 20:43

Our Y7 parents evening was a couple of weeks ago. I booked online. You can only see 8 teachers and they are booked in 5 minute slots. Refreshments were on sale, we were met by some older students to register and it started well. Then, one teacher had disappeared to the loo, so got behind, and we were subsequently late for all the others. The other teachers got arsey because we were late. We gave up after teacher number 6.

I am wise to it now. I should have booked the appointments more spread apart in case a teacher needed to leave for a personal needs break. I'll remember for Y8.

BrokenWing · 27/03/2019 20:54

Ds is in S3 (Scotland) in secondary and we had our first online booking parents evening this year.

Previous years were booked by ds on a piece of paper with each teacher. We have had either no gap to find next teacher, huge gaps or double booking.

Went onto the online system and booked all 7 x 5 min appointments I needed for his 7 Nat5s no problem and a chat with his guidance teacher too. I could book the first 4 with 5 min gaps in between, the next 4 with 10 min gaps in between (as they always run late as the night goes on). All worked out great, but the appointments opened at 2pm and I could do it during work which probably helped, I suspect those that looked after work would have struggled more.

nuxe1984 · 27/03/2019 20:55

Getting these appointments is like getting concert tickets. All gone within minutes. I would contact the school and complain. They should have enough appointments available so that all parents can see all teachers.

WombatChocolate · 27/03/2019 20:56

Being limited to 8 teachers seems reasonable. When you have 15 teachers there is no need to see all. And consider that a teacher can only see 12 per hour after a long day at work, but often teaches 2 classes in the same year group which could be 60 students so 5 hours of appointments! It does have to be practical.

At our school we get sent an online form of our child's teachers and have to tick who we'd like to see (advises most see 8 but doesn't insist on max or min) and then you wait a week and then got a list of appointments - seemingly a computer churns the requests. They say it reduces the time each parent is there to the minimum possible. As lomg as you complete the form by the deadline you have as much chance as anyone to the slots. I've never heard of anyone being told all the slots have gone for a particular teacher. It broadly runs to time, but no bells, just teachers being fairly clear its time to move on. I've seen teachers see people early if no one is waiting or someone is late and I've also seen them say no to people trying to queue jump.

To be honest, it all seems pretty decent in terms of the booking system and the running of it. Appointments run from 6-10 with most parents there for perhaps 90 mins. And I'm not sure how long the teachers are there - but 6-10 after a full day at work seems pretty long to me. Not sure what the alternative is.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 27/03/2019 21:01

I was once queing up at a Yr 8 Parents evening and made a joke to OH that it looks a bit like speed dating, as in would we ever get to exchange enough info in the short time allotted. A horrible snobby stuck up woman overheard and announced loudly and sneeringly to the whole queue.. I (emphasis on the I) wouldn't know. I (even more emphasis on the I) have never been speed dating. Gah!!!!

Ledkr · 27/03/2019 21:01

DD is number 5 and is only year 3. Reading this has made me remember to allocate dh to secondary school parents evenings in a few years

Travelledtheworld · 27/03/2019 21:08

It's people who take their entire families with them that drive me crazy.
It seems not a fun evening out for small children !

OhTheRoses · 27/03/2019 21:09

duckbilled she stated fact. Are you assuming she was snobby and stuck up because she was well spoken? That says more about you than about her. If you and your dh hadn't been speed dating, how could you possibly make the analogy?

ToeToToe · 27/03/2019 21:11

That's ridiculous - so there are basically not nearly enough slots for all the children? We have this system, but I've never not got an appointment (and last time I was really late booking...)

Secondary school parent's evening are a very special kind of hell at the best of times though. Make a separate appointment to talk about bullying - you don't want other parents/children overhearing, which they always can at our parent's evenings.

Maladicta · 27/03/2019 21:17

I've had experience now of 3 senior school systems...

Dd - ok, got roughly what we wanted and there was flexibility on the day

Ds1 - never a problem - they also request if they really want to see you

Ds2 - a disaster - miss the time by even 10 mins and you are fecked. I was an hour late for his last one's booking opening and only managed 2, an hour apart. Given it's a 30 min drive, sod that. They recognise there's an issue so you can request feedback from each teacher, either by phone or email. The fact I've always had to chase at least some of them is very irritating.

Runworkeatsleeprepeat · 27/03/2019 21:18

Treezylover I have twins now in year 9, old school kids made their own appts because they had quite a few teachers the same so even if one got an appointment they talked about both, new school has a booking system that I'd been warned was a nightmare. I got a phone call the morning before the booking opened saying they phone parents of twins and book for them so I got an appointment with every subject teacher. Me and my DH both went and split up. It felt like speed dating though. We had to make notes so we knew who they were talking about.