is it me or is this a bit insenstive ?

[BrieAndChilli]

looking for mothers day gift for MIL and came across this

www.amazon.co.uk/RED-OCEAN-Promoted-Mothers-Plaque/dp/B00XPVBY1U/ref=sr_1_28?keywords=mothers+day+gifts&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&ie=UTF8&qid=1553606543&sr=8-28

basically implying that if your dont have grandkids wou are a bad mother!!
My mother has grandkids and shes an awful mother!
plus the best mothers in the world may never get to be a grandma due for various reasons such as infertility, child chossing not to have kids, kids being in a same sex relationship and not being able to havekids/adopt, death etc et c

Potentially insensitive. Reminds me of something I saw on FB "grandchildren are the reward for everything you've done right in life". So those without are being punished for something??

It's just like those world's best mum mugs, it doesn't exclude other mums it's just a piece of merchandise designed to make money for someone and cheer up the recipient and make them feel loved. Nothing more.

Ffs. The world is going mad
Remember when people werent offended at everything they came across..the world was a happier place

Clinton's is full of cards which say Best Dad, Best Mum, Best Sister etc.

Maybe the staff should be running checks to see whether the recipient actually is the best whatever.

If I don't become a grandmother I am not so egocentric as to think it will be down to me, but rather the choice my children have made, or the circumstances they find themselves.

To be fair it would be a bit insensitive if you gave it to a mum who had adult children but no grandchildren

It’s not saying that at all OP. I think it’s absolutely naff though and wouldn’t buy because of that.

My MIL has one of these signs.

She bought it for herself!

No more offensive than a similarly twee plaque saying "Live Your Dreams!" would be to the dead and to insomniacs.

It's a bit like those 'hilarious' signs you sometimes see on people's drives saying "Alfa Romeo Parking only - all other vehicles will be crushed!!!!!!!!!!" I've seen plenty of variations of this sign, none of which are applicable to the make of car that I drive. I've yet to feel mortally offended by any of them.

To be fair it would be a bit insensitive if you gave it to a mum who had adult children but no grandchildren grin

You wouldn't, though, would you?! Unless you wanted to really make a PA point

YABU. It's a bit of meaningless tat.

Anyway OP, why are you looking for a gift for your MIL, she is not your Mother.

I won't want my DIL choosing me a gift for Mother's Day, I would like my sons to get me a card.

My lovely little granddaughters got me this out of their pocket money. It may be ‘cheap tat’ but they were so proud of themselves lol.

Its main offence is utter tackiness! Who would have such a thing?

It's clearly false, but in the same way that "best mum" tags are too.

Does Nanna have two 'N's?
(Misses point)

Does Nanna have two 'N's?

Yes, otherwise it's short for banana

I always thought it was Nana?
But I'm Irish and the majority here go for Granny or variations of that.

I agree with you, OP. Tat like this adds subtly to society's narrative that women only have worth if they have children.

I suppose if you're a Grandma who wants GC, it might hit a nerve....but that's obviously not the intention.

I can imagine my DM would like the words... the plaque itself isn't everyone's cup of tea though.

@TheOrigFV45

Anyway OP, why are you looking for a gift for your MIL, she is not your Mother.

I won't want my DIL choosing me a gift for Mother's Day, I would like my sons to get me a card

Sometimes your darling sons can't be arsed /find it hard and ask their wives/GFs to buy a gift.

I remember my MIL saying since DH and I got married, she's got some really lovely gifts.

YANBU I hate that stuff. Really makes my teeth itch.

I do think it's kind of obnoxious, to be honest. As someone without children, it's the type of thing that can stir up some guilt-pangs about my not "giving my parents grandchildren". They've never guilt-tripped me about it, but it does cross my mind from time to time (such as when I see something like that plaque), because I know they'd love more grandchildren and would be wonderful grandparents to my theoretical, non-existent children.

That said, it is much too easy to offend people, these days. We can't tiptoe around everyone's feelings all the time, because even the most innocuous things can hurt someone or be perceived as "insensitive".

I agree, YANBU. It's a horrid sentiment.

It's not like "best mum" mugs, which is clearly expressed as a personal opinion about an individual. It's like a "only the best women get upgraded to mum" mug or something on that line. It's placing being a grandmother as a superior and so kind of meritocracy.

It's also patently untrue.

And it wouldn't only be seen in shops, presumably the intention is for it to be displayed within the home, for friends and family to see.