8 months old and still not sleeping

[Belmanlady]

Hi guys, I'm looking for advice or maybe just to vent.
My LO is 8 months old (corrected age 7 months), on 3 meals a day and 4 5/6oz bottles of formula a day. Hes a good weight (19lb 9) with no issues but for the life of me he will not sleep in his own room in his cot.
He has a good night time routine and have no issue him going to sleep at 6:45/7pm but is generally fed to sleep.
I think the issue is he cannot self soothe and loves to be cuddled. I have tried everything I can think of except controlled crying which I struggle to even consider. Have any of you lovely lot got any tips or just some reassurance for a very tired mama?
TIA

What’s he doing at night? He’s sleeping through?

My ds didn't (and I mean, hands down refused, would force himself to stay awake till 1am) sleep in his own room by himself till he was just turned too sorry

I tried everything, in the end I took the side off his cot, put it plum to my side if the bed (they were the same height) and he slept (well, up and down) in that till he was reliably sleeping through.

Honestly, and this is probably very little comfort, but I genuinely think it's developmental, go for the path of least resistance, co-sleep/bedshare safely is my advice.

Caveat : I tried controlled crying, it worked in that he'd go to sleep in the cot, but he'd wake up ten times more, often very upset.

*just turned two

Honestly a lot of kids are not sleeping through at that age, I am in my late 30s and I don't sleep through the night!

My eldest didn't sleep through until he was 2, we co-slept a lot which meant that we all got more sleep as he wanted the cuddles. However, it took my youngest just a few weeks to sleep through, at this point I just think you have a sleeper or you don't.

We did do controlled crying in the end with the eldest, it broke my heart at the time but he got heavy and wiggley and we needed to kick him out of our bed. It worked but you have to be strict with yourself as we had many relapses.

Hang in there, you are in the trenches, I found that once I stopped worrying about what he "should" be doing, the nights were a lot easier.

*worked to a degree

Mine was always an extremely cuddly baby and still is at 1.5. We fully co-slept until 9 months when he would start the night in his cot. He still goes down in his cot but when he wakes up in the night he comes into the bed; as soon as he's next to me he's sound asleep. Go for the path of least resistance! In my view, they sleep on their own when they're ready to.

Oddly before I even read the post I guested you were going to say you put the baby in their own room and that they were a boy.

Lots of babies and young children don't like sleeping in their own rooms by themselves let alone in their own bed.

So while the advice is you can let them sleep in their own room from 6 months loads of babies, toddlers and young children will not sleep at night if you do that.

So I suggest you first try moving his cot back into your bedroom so he's close to you, can see you easily from his cot and see then if he sleeps. If that doesn't work after about a week then you are going to have to try co-sleeping.

At 8 months I had to rock dd in her pram for hours to get her to go to sleep. I posted on here in utter desperation many, many times!

Basically, when she turned one I put her in her cot at nap time and laid down in her room where she could see me and pretty much ignored her. She was bloody furious, but not panicking because she could see me. She just wanted me to pick her up. It took about 45 mins of her screeching, then moaning, then a few whimpers and she went to sleep!! It was a miracle. From then on I did the same thing and within 3 days I could put her in her cot, say night night and she would self-settle. And she’s been a fab sleeper ever since (now 2.4).