I can't buy my mum a Mother's Day present at 31 y.o

[ExtraPineappleExtraHam]

We are very very skint at the moment. Tax credits have been stopped till May, have to pay £800 in childcare and the car has just died. I have absolutely no spare money at all, except £5 for a bunch of flowers. I've got a card and I'll get the kids to make her something but I feel awful.
The week after Mother's Day we're going away for a week in a caravan (me, the kids and my parents) and I'll be able to buy her a cream tea or two then. I've also paid for the holiday so do you think this is an ok substitute or will she be annoyed she has nothing to open?

Type out a voucher for the holiday you have paid for ( can’t believe you also feel you need to pay even more even over and above a holiday!)
Head into your nearest forest and trim some bloosom branches, wrap with ribbon and Mother’s Day is done. With respect you are making so much of this, presents are not a reflection of love op.

Mays I'm so sorry

OP my adult DC are skint atm. I've told them not to buy into the Mothers Day hype & a hug will be enough.

My DDs are 10 and 11 and I overheard them talking about how they'd been saving their pocket money to buy me something for Mothers Day. I told them that what I'd really like, would be for each of them to write down, individually, in their own words, their happiest memory of me and each of them together. What happened, what we did, who said what, where we were, what it felt like etc., just as much as they can remember. I think it would be a lovely thing to have to look back on in years to come - particularly to see it from their point of view. The girls seemed really keen on the idea, so I'm hopeful (and they get to keep their pennies for themselves)!

I was telling my DM about it and knowing that DH and I are in a similar financial position to you OP (by the sounds of it!), said that actually, in lieu of a gift gift, my DM would really like me to do the same for her. I started mine last night and have written about 2000 words so far, so it's shaping up to be more of an 'Autobiographical Memoir', rather than 'A Memory', but it's fun to do, I know it's going to be appreciated more than a posh bouquet and some fancy chocolates - and it's free; just a thought!

Your Mother shouldn't be expecting any sort of gift. I think it's nice to remember our Mother's (if we choose to) on Mothering Sunday. I tend to but a bunch of daffodils and give a card. I also usually offer to do a chore in the garden, weeding a flower bed, potting things up etc. My DM has always said this is the most thoughtful gift she could receive

OP just wanted to say you sound so lovely and thoughtful, and I'm sure your mum is very proud of you and will just be happy that she gets to have mothers day with you and your kids!

I have four grown kids. I usually get a card from the girls, sometimes a card from my eldest son, nothing from my youngest son. Do I care? No! I know they love me, I don't need cards presents or flowers to prove it, and I certainly don't want them scraping around trying to find money to buy me things. Get the children to make a voucher for her. I had a lovely one entitling me to a picnic with my grandchildren last year, and I was thrilled! You could give her one promising that cream tea on your holiday.

Google a cafe wherever you are going tell her you are going there rather than worrying so you have planned it.

I’m getting my Mum a bunch of flowers and a card, not due to cost but because that’s what I’ve always got her. Never occurred to me to buy anything else
Am I really tight? What do other people do?

A few years ago I decided I would have zero expectations of Mothers' Day (I have young adult DSs). This means I am never disappointed and sometimes I get a pleasant surprise. There are many more important things in life than an overhyped special day. I still recall a truly ghastly pub meal we took my mother for many years ago on the actual day, pub had overbooked and was short staffed and it was a memorable experience for all the wrong reasons.

Do you have the ingredients in to make her a nice cake or some little pastry type things?

If you had the ingredients in the cupboard you could do her an afternoon tea with little finger sandwiches, little cakes etc.

Only you know how well your mom will take it.
I moved house and lost my job in the same month, my mom told me to sell something to give my young sister a tenner for her birthday when she knew I didn't even have money for food 😂
I did, btw, some guilt in me there!
I know plenty of people who wouldn't care and we don't do anything in my house for adults birthdays, anniversaries or mothers/fathers day.

I’m getting my Mum a bunch of flowers and a card, not due to cost but because that’s what I’ve always got her. Never occurred to me to buy anything else
Am I really tight? What do other people do?

I am wondering if im tight too as I said i just do flowers or chocolates depending on what my Sister is getting My dds just do the same for me althoygh swap chocs for wine and I am a happy bunny

Mothers Day = a home-made card and a £1 bunch of daffodils, doesn't it? Something handmade by a small child if relevant.

Maybe lunch together, or a walk and a cup of tea if it's a nice day. It's about appreciation, time, small gestures.

The concept of 'a present to open' does not correlate with Mother's Day to me. That's birthdays and Christmas.

@ExtraPineappleExtraHam why not get the kids to make her a "voucher" for her cream tea while youre away? that way it looks like you got it as a gift (rather than just you paying while there) and makes it something to look forward to

@Hyacintharehighersincelasttime Tue 26-Mar-19 09:19:03
a bunch of daffodils are cheap

They aren't if you've got sod all

I would love to give my mum a hug and a £5 bunch of flowers - I can't because she's 200 miles away so I did send a cheap bouquet but there's no reason to do more, spending time with her is far more important

Mother's Day is about letting your mum feel loved and appreciated. You don't need to buy anything. Just tell her what she means to you and give her a big hug. Have a lovely holiday together.

Goodness I'm sure your mother wouldn't want you to ruin yourself over mothers day! Flowers ARE a present!! That's all I'm expecting from my kids, flowers and a card... or even just a card tbh! It's the effort that counts not how expensive the gift is.
Sometimes I do get my mum a gift as well as a card but not every year because some years I've been skint... as long as I've made some sort of effort shes not complained.
I'm really sure your mum will love her flowers and you spending some time with her by taking her out to cream tea when you can. I think thats a great idea.

Write something heartfelt in a card, bunch of daffodils, homemade cake.

I would hate to think that my children were getting upset about something like this.
If you're paying for the holiday she should be offering something towards it as you're so hard up.

BetsyBigNose

Your "estmemory" is a lovely isa!

If my son sends me a card I’ll be over the moon. I’d hate him to spend his last fiver on me. If your mum’s anything like you, OP, a big hug and “I love you” will do the job beautifully.

I'd be absolutely devastated if my DCs thought I'd be upset that they couldn't afford to buy me a present. They know me well enough to know I wouldn't ever want them to spend money on me on those circumstances!

Are you good at baking op? Could you bake her a nice cake?

I have plenty of money, I have never done more than a card for mother’s day. A card, flowers, and something from the kids is plenty. In fact, I would skip the store bought card and have the kids make one. Cheaper and more meaningful.