children that are firghtened of dogs and how i find some parents are encouraging their fear

[haychee]

I have 2 medium to large dogs and i get so cross when i come accross children that just lose the plot if the dogs go near them. I can understand that they are frightened and i call the dogs away from the child instantly. But what makes me cross is the parents responses, "that dog should be on a lead" or i just get looks that could kill you dead. My arguement is, that if the child is that frightened then why would you take him or her to a place where dogs are everywhere in a dog walking area. Why do parents encourage their childrens fear by making these comments? what good does it do for the child? I actually saw one mother once who picked her child up every time the dog was anywhere close (like 4-5meters away). The child got increasingly anxious and the mother ended up having a go at me. I know and fully appreciate that some dogs are dangerous but mine arent and i think that when parents react like this infront of their children the message they are displaying is that its ok to be this frightened of dogs.

My daughter was once frightened of thunder so i purposely sat up with her watching a storm and saying things like "wow, that one was very loud" and " cor, look at that lightening isnt it beautiful". Because of this time i spent with her and the way we watched it together has dulled her fear - infact she gets quite excited if there is a storm brewing now.
Any one else feel the same or can understand where im coming from? or maybe your one of these types of parents that react like this? I would like to discuss the issue if anyone has any comments?

I've always loved dogs but don't have one at the moment due to circumstances. I've always taught my ds (2.8) the correct way to behave around dogs, and he's always been fond of them.

About a month ago, however, he was bitten in the face by a border collie. Not unnaturally, he's a bit wary now, but still not afraid because I actively encourage him to remain friendly with dogs.

There are three rules (one of which ds broke).

1. Never pat a dog on the top of the head.
2. Never approach a dog from behind.
3. Never look a dog in the face if the dog is the same size as you!

you just have to teach children to ASK before they pet a dog (or any animal). That applies even if you have a dog yourself.

PinkChick, our dogs could be one and the same, I too have a dog who does nothing but sleep, eat and fart, LOL, but she is the most docile and friendly dog I have ever known. But I do still keep her on a lead in a public place.

if you saw this dog coming towards you in the park you would all run in the opposite direction

sorry for the silliness but this thread has been going round and round in circles all day

Ruby,

He's only a bit bigger than the dogs I grew up with - except that there were generally 4 of them!

It takes a lot of dog to scare me .

Actually that's why these debates get so polarised I think. If you're scared of, and hate, dogs, you can't begin to fathom why people would want to spend time with them. If you like them and/or don't find them threatening, it's hard to put yourself in the place of someone who can't share an acre of land with one.

lol at it takes a lot of dog to scare me!
It is the size of a horse ...

wow, you could actually put a saddle on that dog and give children rides, that may alleviate some of their fear

Recently on our hols DS and I saw a dog who looked like our dog at home - as pointed out ecitedly by my DS.

We went over and I asked the lady if the dog was friendly and could we stroke him. Yes, she says, he's really really soft, wouldn't hurt a fly. He bit both of us, snap snap, in a flash.

I LOVE dogs, but I dislike a lot of owners [fixed grin] and I am teaching my DS never to go up to a dog without asking the owner first. It is unbelievable that some poeple think that it is ok to let dogs anywhere near kids in a public park. Control them or keep them on a lead. Let them off the lead in a wood or large open space away from kids. Simple.

HMC - that response is quite mild for some mumsnetters. I have seen recently someone asserting that dogs should be forced to be on leads at all times (presumably in the house!) or be killed .

If a person ran around a park making children scream and run away - it wouldn't be allowed.

You chose to have a dog and you have to be responsible for the way it impacts on other people. What dog owners often don't understand is that dogs (and imo) all pets are not necessary, they don't have to be part of our lives.

If you chose to have one, you are responsible for the way it makes people feel as much as if you frightened people yourself whilst walking through the park.

Gizmo - dogs should be on leads in towns and in parks except if the owner is walking the dog very early in the morning for instance when the park is deserted.

"If you chose to have one, you are responsible for the way it makes people feel"

Too simplistic hellish. If you are considerate and careful with your dog (as I have described below) and people are still fearful, then you are not responsible for that fear

but Fuzzywuzzy if you pick up your child every time you see a dog isn't that reinforcing her fear?

I'm not trying to fight, i'm genuinely interested.

but if you think how big even a small dog looks to a toddler you can't blame them for being scared really can you. when my son is a little taller i will try and find a nice dog to introduce him to.

Gizmo I've tried explaining to her that her screams make the dog think she's playing, and sometimes she will just whimper and hold me tightly, but if the dog is off the lead and coming towards her she goes ballistic.

I fully expect dogs to be running aorund in parks and such but when it happens outside the local corner shop and the owner stands stock still yelling at my obviously petrified child I find it a bit much

Unfortunately there are a lot of people around here that walk their dogs off the lead in the street. One recently jumped up at my 2 year and knocked her flat on her back. Therefore both my children are now very wary of dogs - there is a big doberman-type dog that is never on his lead and just stands in the middle of the pathway when I am walking dd1 to nursery - she is very scared of it and we have to cross a busy road to avoid it. I don't encourage it but I can't really blame her - I feel slightly wary of it too. I like dogs but I think it is inappropriate to encourage a child to approach an unknown dog and I would rather my children be wary than over-friendly.

Oh how did I miss this?

I love a good dog thread.

And no I didn't tease it, approach it from behind, pull it's tail or otherwise bother it. It looked perfectly harmless 'til it bore it's teeth and bit me.

Maybe that's why people pick their children up when they see a loose dog. Once bitten twice shy.

zookeeper I don't bodily pick her up, I get down and cuddle her.
Actually realistically I dont know what to do as it happens and my instinct is to hug her and make soothing noises till she stops screaming (she does sometimes), or the dog is taken away from her.
I cannot in all honesty see myself leaving dd1 to fend for herself under such circumstances.

If you keep your dog on a lead so that it cannot affect anybody going about their business (ie - go running / walking/sniffing up to them) then noone would have any cause for complaint.

If a dog walks past me on the street I don't complain about that - it is not okay for a dog to invade my personal space anymore than it is for a person.

Zookeeper - i have tried very hard to make sure my children are not scared of dogs by encouraging them to stroke dogs we know etc, but everytime a dog comes bounding towards them in the park, it undoes all that.

My mum made my ds terrified of dogs - she didn't mean to but she did and I was quite cross with her. He is now much better, and dd is besotted with them. I am teaching her that you have to ask the dog's owner if it is Ok to stroke, and that you pat its back nicely etc and she is getting there. Ds is less scared now.
I have seen, for example, a boy run straight into a small dog and fall over it, and the mother round on the dog owner and blame him, which was totally unfair.
But there are also some horrible untrained dogs out there.

Dog shit on the pavement bothers me more tbh.

I have 3 children under 4. Like most parents I don't want them to be scared off anything, thanks to dog owners they are petrified and I mean petrified off dogs.

I would never encourage them to be afraid of anything but when you have 3 children shaking with fear, screaming and clawing at you to be picked up when you only have 1 pair of hands you generally tell the owner to get their dog on a lead. If they are frightened it's my job to protect them not force them to confront the object terrifying them-that is cruel.

I am sick and tired of owners who think it's ok(even when their dogs are on leads)to let their animals lick , bounce up and generally terrify my children. Children who are frightened of dogs will always have had a bad experience. My 3 were fine with cats until 1 of them got clawed in the face.

On the subject of public places I am not going to be hemmed in to the one and only park dogs can't get in during the whole summer. I have paid my council tax and will use any facility I choose. Dog owners let their dogs off leads everywhere. Beaches, moorland, parks everywhere even though there are clear signposts saying they can't. Only this weekend my 3 were attacked yet again on our local moor even though we're in the local lambing and nesting season. Another lovely day was ruined and we were left with 3 weeping, hysterical children.

It's selfish and quite frankly if you haven't got a garden big enough to let them run around in private you shouldn't keep them.

I can't believe how dog-phobic so many people sound!
Maybe I just haven't come across any irresponsible owners and have only met very friendly dogs. But I hate seeing dogs stuck on leads when they could be running around enjoying a walk; depending on the dog as human safety a million times more important.

I completely understand people being upset if the dog leaps at their children or anything but if an owner can completely vouch for their dog behaving and walking to heel when asked, I think off lead can be ok.

I think my post might come across wrong as I'm with MilaMae on the fact that dogs definitely shouldn't lick anyone etc.! So must very much depend on the dog

Milamae you say your three were 2attacked yet again".

do you just have really bad luck or were they really atttacked?

dogs? its cows that are the problem