children that are firghtened of dogs and how i find some parents are encouraging their fear

[haychee]

I have 2 medium to large dogs and i get so cross when i come accross children that just lose the plot if the dogs go near them. I can understand that they are frightened and i call the dogs away from the child instantly. But what makes me cross is the parents responses, "that dog should be on a lead" or i just get looks that could kill you dead. My arguement is, that if the child is that frightened then why would you take him or her to a place where dogs are everywhere in a dog walking area. Why do parents encourage their childrens fear by making these comments? what good does it do for the child? I actually saw one mother once who picked her child up every time the dog was anywhere close (like 4-5meters away). The child got increasingly anxious and the mother ended up having a go at me. I know and fully appreciate that some dogs are dangerous but mine arent and i think that when parents react like this infront of their children the message they are displaying is that its ok to be this frightened of dogs.

My daughter was once frightened of thunder so i purposely sat up with her watching a storm and saying things like "wow, that one was very loud" and " cor, look at that lightening isnt it beautiful". Because of this time i spent with her and the way we watched it together has dulled her fear - infact she gets quite excited if there is a storm brewing now.
Any one else feel the same or can understand where im coming from? or maybe your one of these types of parents that react like this? I would like to discuss the issue if anyone has any comments?

So you would put your dog on a lead if a child was allergic, but not if they were "just" scared?

Good thing your kids aren't scared of anything. Oh, except every adult in the world.

I do put them on a lead if a child is obviously frightened. Please read my posts thoroughly before making such comments. My issue is with those parents who are fuelling their kids fears.

haychee - your definition of "fuelling" a child's fears and another parents may be totally different, but having seen your posts on this threads and the Shrek thread you come across as someone unwilling to really and truly hear what others are saying
it is very frustrating
in your OP you said you wanted a discussion - it seems like you just want every to agree with you

No one knows in advance how well behaved your dogs are, and how responsible you are, haychee. Just as you don't know what previous experience babies, toddlers and children and their parents have had with dogs that might affect their response.

My story: we were staying in a family run hotel. In the part where the family lived, there were two guard dogs. One day, these two very large dogs managed to get into the hotel part (through an intercommunicating door that was left open in error by the hotelier). One pinned dd1, then aged 3.5, against the wall, by placing his paws above her shoulders, barking into her face, while the other one joined in with equal barking. She was badly scratched on her neck by the first dog's claws. I was there, and tried to pull the dogs off but I was not strong enough. After about 30 terrifying seconds the hotelier came in response to the noise of barking and screaming and called them off.

You can perhaps imagine what lasting effect that might have on a small child.

You would probably say I somehow instilled this fear into her, and mothers like me should just stay inside the house with their kids for a few years until the fear goes away....

haychee - "No, not at all educate your children how to approach and react to dogs."

Why?

You seem to be saying that because your dogs respond to a squealing/running child by chasing it (because they think it's a game) and you are not prepared to put your dogs on a lead, then I should teach my children not to squeal/run (in the park, I might add - surely a place for squealing and running).

I would prefer to go to a park where dogs are not allowed - as that is not an option where I live then I don't think it's unreasonable that dogs should be on a lead, in a park, where children are playing.

I don't want my children to be scared of dogs (ds1 is already, thanks to the incidents I detailed hours ago) but I don't much care if they don't like them either. I don't.

I knew someone at college who had a real phobia of dogs, developed after the only dog she'd ever liked (a jack russell) bit her on the face, the teeth of its lower jaw inside her mouth, its upper teeth locked with them through the bottom of her nose

you dont need laws stating that dogs should be on leads for you to do so.

its simple common sense and good manners.

if a child is running playfully, sometimes screaming loudly with delight and then dog thinks this is fun and joins in

or child playing with a ball on the green - dog thinks great fuin joins in

I doubt not the intentions of the dog in most cases are " whoooo hoooo love me, watch me, arn;t i good, i get ball, i run fast "

the outcome often is kid gets knocked over or firghtened.

its right to be cautiousfo dogs.

of course disproportionate fear can be apportioned to any subject

of course no one can argue a case wher you are saying dispropotionate fear - no one is going to argue that are they? its kind of implicit

I have a small dog.
My mum has a large dog.
My 2 children are used to dogs but scared about other people's dogs particularly large ones running all over the place.
I keep my dog on a lead if we go out.
At no point have I encouraged my DCs to be scared of dogs.
They are just sensible and ultimately being wary of strange dogs is a sensible thing.
Don't blame the parents , I think most children go through a stage of being scared of dogs.
YABU

Oh I have read your posts. You have 2 dogs, of a bread that was originally bred for hunting and which has a documented tendency to aggression. You seem to think that allowing them to run free is more important than a child's fears. You are an arrogant and unpleasant person.

Haychee - so my DD1 who is terrifeid of dogs - how woudl you' educate her' to not be?
And if your dog ran near her and she cried and I bent down to tell her it was ok, would you think i was 'fuelling her fear'?

Oh and also my mum was utterly terrified of all dogs when aI was a kid, I mean really terrified, she was chased and bitten by an alsation as a kid and the her fear didn't ever rub off on me. Just wanted to add that as an interesting point.

I will keep my harmless big dog (who doesn't approach people and leap all over them, but simply minds her own business) on a lead in parks, very public places and obvious locations where small timid people are present.

But she will be off lead in the woods near my home and generally off lead on our New Forest walks...and if any of you can't handle that, then tough!

HMC - that's a sensible approach, and exactly what I do with my Labrador.

But if you were out in the woods, and you saw a small child out walking, you'd keep your dog with you/on the lead until you were clear of the child, wouldn't you?

weimeraners - are btw my fav breed but they are quite big and also in my exp of them quite skittish, jumpy fun dogs. Never really seen one walking calmly and slowly along, would probably scare the life out of a small child. I love them but it's not about me, it's about small children, most of whom don't naturally adore dogs.

HMC - sounds incredibly resonable to me. A dog has to have a free run where possible.

ds is 10 and terrified of dogs - am not sure where this fear has come from and why it's so severe (he'd run in front of a car to avoid a dog - this is one of my great worries)...
I have done nothing to encourage his fear as I love dogs and have had several,pre ds. He has even had some hypnotherapy to help ease his anxieties and we do a thing where when we pass a dog I ask him how anxious he is feeling on a scale of one to ten - a kind of behaviour therapy technique - and we were doing really well until 2 dogs rushed up at him in a wood and set him right back. Don't blame the dogs or owner as it was a wood and we expect to see dogs out, it was just unfortunate. So, in answer - dogs should definitelyt be on a lead on public roads/footpaths - open land is fine for them to run about.

"But when a child screams or runs they think its a game and we end up in a viscous circle of screaming and running and chasing". ..so if you describe it as a vicious circle, it must happen fairly often?..you know your dogs will chase children who 'god forbid' run around shouting in a park?

my post was in addressing the point made by some posters that dogs should be on lead in public places. Disagree in woodland / forest walk scenarios. It's not my fault nor that of my dog's that some people have phobias - I am sympathetic to a degree and thus will take reasonable measures (i.e. lead walking in busy areas frequented by lots of families and small children)

Youaresoannoying

Absolutely if I saw a small child approaching (or indeed anyone) in the woods I tend to call her to heel and leash her. Don't encounter that many people on these sort of walks

Blimey wasn't expecting people to agree with me! These debates get so polarised sometimes that you can't help getting a bit defensive as a dog owner

Parks and more specifically play areas were designed for the use of humans somewhere to relax in the outdoors and enjoy the fresh air, have fun..they were not purposly built for people to let their animals roam free thats a wildlife reserve or zoo...or am i getting it wrong..should we put our children on leads and let them shit on the floor?

HMC - big difference I see between you and OP is that you call your dog in when you see a small child approaching - not only once there has been a "sign of fear" from child. You think ahead, and considerately.

HUGE difference, actually. Would be very happy to meet you & dog on a New Forest walk.

hmc that's a perfectly reasonable approach i think. plus if a dog is out in a bigger, more interesting space they can get properly tired... i do feel sorry for city dogs in parks who clearly don't get the chance to let rip. actually, and controversially... i think it's pretty cruel to keep a big dog in the city unless you're prepared to take it to the country and really run off its legs.

Well agree with first part of the sentence Pink Chick (about parks being designed primarily for humans)...but not sure that dogs should be allowed to roam free only in wildlife reserves! (perplexed expression)

Kerry - get a grip and read my posts.