To have had enough.

[Cloudycloud]

I've had chronic anxiety all my life, it's mainly affected my career in that I really struggle to hold down jobs. I find it really difficult to build relationships with people and don't really live a normal life.

I've been on ESA for a couple of years in the work group. I'm on their work programme and tried my best to do the courses they have offered but it's been a struggle, I don't know if things will ever improve.

So I decided that I'd try and go self-employed doing copywriting and proofreading. I've shelled out on a desk and lumbar support for my computer chair to try and create a comfortable workspace.
Then I've recently been diagnosed with Ehlers Danlos syndrome, and whatever position I sit in I'm in pain in my upper and lower back. Just can't get comfortable.

I feel so defeated, I can't afford to buy anything else. I mentally can't cope in the world of work and now my physical health is failing me too. I've got another assessment with the dwp coming up and I'm dreading it so much, last time it just felt like they were tying to catch me out like I'm some kind of fraud.

If anyone else is in a similar situation I'd love to hear from you. I'm just at my wits end with it all, I hate being on benefits and all of the stigma that comes with it.

Hi op, I also have EDS and I work for an ergonomic company who helps people with many chronic illnesses. I'm assuming your EDS is making your anxiety worse, you really need a good chair and workstation. The difference it makes is astonishing.
There are charities that can pay for this for you. Alternatively, if you're planning to study a degree at all, it might pay for you to start now as you can claim support through the DSA. Lots of disabled people do OU degrees, it could help bring up your confidence / job prospects. Obviously I'm not recommending doing a degree just to claim DSA!!

Hi Tachy thanks for your reply.
The EDS certainly doesn't help my anxiety. You know what it's like, it can seem like one thing after another keeps going wrong with your health.
I hadn't planned on doing a degree, I need to be able to earn some money. I will have to do some digging and see if there are any grants/charities that can help. Either that or I better start saving up for an ergonomic chair!

Well for information, a good ergonomic chair would cost you around £800. Those are the ones that are completely bespoke to your body measurements - lumbar in the right place etc.
The chair you have could be adequate if set up properly though? Could you give me some details about the chair and I could maybe try and help? Ie what kind of mechanism does it have, how many levers, seat slide?
This isn't my job, I work in accounts but I've picked up a few things!