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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think it was an odd comment?

13 replies

growingenough · 25/03/2019 16:27

I'm mixed race and have a son with a black man. My son is therefore mixed, but looks black.

I've been talking to a nice man, who happens to be white. I told my friend this and she automatically said

'Erm, but what if you end up getting together and having kids and they are completely different looking. Wouldn't that confuse them?'

AIBU to think that this was an odd thing to say? Or is this a normal chain of thought? I didn't even think about it...

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 25/03/2019 16:30

Your friend is a pillock.

growingenough · 25/03/2019 16:32

It's really made me think. I mean I'm only talking to the bloke and kids hadn't even crossed my mind. But honestly having kids of two different colours wouldn't have even been a slight problem for me!

OP posts:
lostfrequencies · 25/03/2019 16:33

YANBU. Stupid remark.

AdvancedAvoider · 25/03/2019 16:40

What an idiot! My kids are different colours and none of us are bothered by it.

azulmariposa · 25/03/2019 16:40

A friend of mine has two children with the same father, one looks black, the other white. She's had a few people make comments, and the children obviously picked up on the comments as they questioned why the looked different. She told them one came out the oven too soon so he wasn't so dark! Hehe when they were little that seemed to work!

growingenough · 25/03/2019 16:49

Me and my brothers are the same race and we all look different 🤷🏽‍♀️

OP posts:
longwayoff · 25/03/2019 17:00

I'd ignore it completely. Many 'black' families have children with different skin tones due to very diverse genes. More common than not, they're not meant to be matching sets.

InsertFunnyUsername · 25/03/2019 17:02

A very odd comment. Ignore OP. Your Children wouldn't be confused.

And anyway, as you know even if your children all had the same father their complexion could be way different. I really don't understand people sometimes when they say these things.

RandomMess · 25/03/2019 17:12
Confused
Ginkythefangedhellpigofdoom · 25/03/2019 17:19

I am one of 4 we all share a mixed race parent. 2 of us have a different other parent from the other 2 but both are white so in effect we all have one mixed race parent and one white parent.

All 4 of us resemble each other but have different colouring in hair and skin from blond hair and pale skin to dark hair and skin.

It means nothing we are all siblings and we do look like it even with the differences!

Ginkythefangedhellpigofdoom · 25/03/2019 17:24

On another note though even if we looked completely unrecognisable from each other why would we be confused?

If siblings are raised as siblings then they are siblings, no confusion whatsoever!

Cheeeeislifenow · 25/03/2019 17:28

I am white my sister is mixed race, people never believe we are siblings and we have to explain, we have the same mother but different father's.
It's annoying and people are ignorant..just like your friend op.

RandomMess · 25/03/2019 18:33

My 3 DC are all white, same parents. Most teachers at school have not realised they were sisters until they met us at parents evening!!!!

Lots of people don't look like their siblings.

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