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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - lodging in a friend home

41 replies

Levi18 · 25/03/2019 16:07

Hello,
I have been renting/lodging in my friends home since Jan, I pay a set amount for rent, get my own food, pay for and do most of the cleaning and pay a little bit more towards gas and electric dependent on what the bill is, as she is not on a fixed rate. She has just told me the grounds fee that she pays to the housing association is due in April it’s £130, she has said my share is £60 and hers will be £70. I wasn’t aware she would want me to contribute to that and in my opinion it is her responsibility to pay for, it unreasonable for me to say this to her? She is someone who always thinks she’s right and can be quite opinionated so part of me thinks just to pay up and keep the peace, but I think once I start doing this it could snowball.

OP posts:
shiningstar2 · 25/03/2019 19:36

I think you need to work out how much it would cost to rent a place of your own. It should be a good bit cheaper sharing with some one else. Not 50-50 because you only have the bo room

Add up what it's costing you op ...if its near renting your own place I would make plans to move out.

If it's significantly cheaper, bearing in mind you would have all your own utility bills, netflix ext. basics like toilet rolls ext, I would pay a third of the ground rent.

ivykaty44 · 25/03/2019 19:41

Read the thread- she OWNS her home. She’s obviously BOUGHT it OFF housing association

Really? You sure she doesn’t have a part ownership deal where she is still a tenant and pays rent?

AuntMarch · 25/03/2019 20:34

40% for a box room? Think she's mugging you off to be honest.

cstaff · 25/03/2019 20:47

I think she is taking the piss also OP. I used to have a lodger and I definitely paid more than she did as it was my house. The only bills I charged her were gas and electricity. I paid bin charges, sky tv and tv licence. Maybe I was a bit soft but it seemed fair to me at the time. We both had double rooms.

AnemoneAnenome · 25/03/2019 20:54

How many gas and electric bills have you had between Jan and today? How have you taken on all these bills - Netflix etc - so quickly?

I know it's not impossible but it does seem unusual to have got quite so enmeshed in your landlord's finances in, what, 8 weeks? 10 week?

HennyPennyHorror · 25/03/2019 21:03

JusttheCat Housing Associations always allow lodgers. They realise it makes it easier for people to keep up with the rent. They make tenants do it the correct way and monitor it to ensure nobody gets taken advantage of.

Xyzzzzz · 25/03/2019 21:36

I doubt the mortgage provider knows either a lot of providers will increase the interest if they find out she’s renting rooms out.

If it’s only a box room seems like your over paying as it is.

HennyPennyHorror · 25/03/2019 23:49

X it's a Housing Association property. OP clearly states that. Not owned...rented by her friend. HA's allow lodgers.

sushisuperstar · 25/03/2019 23:55

She's a tight-ass. I'd be looking elsewhere OP

Crabbyandproudofit · 26/03/2019 00:14

Do you have any formal agreement (written) agreeing what you will pay? It seems unfair if she keeps adding on other things for you to pay. If she owns her home the only people she has to tell that you are living there is the local council because it will affect her council tax.

I think you should calculate how much you are paying every month and compare that to local market rent. You say you are living there to help her out. How long do you plan to stay? I suppose you have to decide if you want to risk falling out about money, or would rather pay what she wants for a quiet life?

PregnantSea · 26/03/2019 00:27

I would just move out. Sounds like you will have to keep paying for stuff unfairly to keep the peace. If you argue the toss and refuse to pay then you are potentially ruining the friendship. I would try and protect the friendship by moving out.

MRex · 26/03/2019 06:16

OP has guessed that she is paying 40% of the costs, but she doesn't actually know what the mortgage costs and she hasn't given any indication of how it stacks up with local rent costs. Without both those pieces of information it's impossible to say what is or is not fair.

AuntMarch · 28/03/2019 07:00

Regardless of the mortgage cost, its not fair to have agreed rent and keep getting new costs added!

hibbledibble · 28/03/2019 07:12

I'm guessing this is a shared ownership property, and you are paying towards the rent proportion? The rent you are paying is far below market rates?

In that case it would be fair to pay.

Nonameslob · 28/03/2019 08:00

Landlords don't charge separately for ground rent. Costs like that are taken into consideration when setting the rent price. It sounds like you have a casual arrangement though. Did you sign a contract agreeing terms?

MissEliza · 28/03/2019 19:08

We have a buy to let and we pay the ground rent not the tenant so I don't think you should either.

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