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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Needing to rant about DH!!!!!

45 replies

MrsSpoon · 11/07/2007 10:18

My DH has undertaken a new fitness regime and it's 'doin' ma nut'!

He is overweight, he needs to lose weight. Originally we both started together, both lost weight, both attended exercise classes together (BodyPump so nothing too girly, then he did some on his own and I did some on my own), it was nice. However the years have rolled on, I have kept most of my weight off, he has put all his back on again and has been farting about spending loads of money on gym equipment and a personal trainer because he doesn't fancy the classes anymore.

Now out of the blue he has started an '8 week plan', I know I should be very happy but it is basically a bodybuilder's plan he has embarked on! My DH never does things by halves (wouldn't be suprised if he is on the Aspergers spectrum somewhere) and he has written this plan which is incompatable with family life, consisting of whopping bowls of porridge and four egg omlets most mornings, snacks seem to be chicken drumsticks mostly, meals at wonky times, which despite telling me it wouldn't interfere with family meals in the main he won't eat what we are having. He works from home so all this cooking and eating is taking place in my kitchen. Then he is having these protein shakes, which of course use the hand blender, which he leaves lying on the worktop after every use and then denies it!

He went shopping for himself and filled the fridge with veg that he didn't use, it is not rotting in the crisper section, guess who will have to clean that out!

He is fancinated by the change in his muscles, which is fine, but his belly isn't getting any smaller. I asked if he was going to do some cardio work to shift the lard and strengthen his heart (afterall he did spend £200 on a cross-trainer that he only uses for a 5 min warm-up) and he told me to stop be a "know it all"!

Then there's the state of the kitchen! Before starting this plan he decided he would take on some chores and said he would empty and fill the dishwasher at breakfast and at dinner time, since starting this plan he has stopped doing the dishwasher (although if you quizz him about it he is convinced it is still him that is loading and emptying it ) and compounded matters by creating extra dishes at mealtimes. For example this morning at breakfast he has used a pot, a frying pan, a large mixing bowl, a large whisk, a bowl, a plate, knife, fork, spoon, wooden spoon and a glass (possibly 2), just for one person. He is buying protien powder in these big drum things that don't fit into my kitchen cupboards and taking something ridiculous like 30 supplement tablets a day, which he maintains are totally safe as they are supplements.

Then there is the money, he says £100 a month on the supplements, if I take this up with him he tells me that this is his allowance money (we both have some money to spend on ourselves each month) and he just won't buy other stuff. Then his personal trainer who used to come in every fortnight at a cost roughly equivalent to my gym membership, she now comes in every week, I believe this is supposed to be his fishing money, which leads me to my next question "fishing money", I don't get "fishing money", can I have "fishing money" to spend on things other than going fishing then?

Can I also add that a whole load of shirts that he has just bought in the last couple of months now no longer fit him at the neck, thanks to this regime, and he simply thinks it is entertaining!

OP posts:
MrsSpoon · 12/07/2007 14:52

ROFL @ garage with inspection kit!

DH was eyeing up the six second abs but I think he has gone off that idea. He is currently building a very expensive leverage machine that was delivered today.

OP posts:
MrsSpoon · 12/07/2007 14:52

That should of course be inspection pit. LOL, wonder if you get such a thing in an ordinary domestic garage, or it could be a little DIY job for him.

OP posts:
Lovecat · 12/07/2007 15:07

For some unknown reason he was looking at houses on Rightmove in an area we have no interest in moving to, and saw a house with garage and inspection pit...

Psst! Can I interest you in a barely-used six-second ab machine? It would be rather amusing to see how long the OH takes to notice it's gone from down the side of the wardrobe...

Wisteria · 12/07/2007 15:10

just wait til he starts 'cutting' and loses all water from his body - he'll be horrid then! My bro was british champ for a while and like a bear with sore head (horrid)....

Lauriefairycake · 12/07/2007 15:44

They just never do anything by half do they??

Normal person - "Hmmmm, belly is a bit big, maybe I'll cut out the lager for a few weeks"

Mid-life-Crisis-Man - major necessary drive around county looking for abroller/stepmachine/butgusting 'special' supplements/

Followed by sitting on fat hairy ass surveying packages

six months after it taking up living room as cleverly placed 'accents' - relegated to garage.

Year later - freecycled

One week later ...................."Hmm belly is looking a bit big"

over and over again for twenty years

Lauriefairycake · 12/07/2007 15:45

Now my husband wants 'guitar lessons'

he is tone mute............

(sees whole other thread on 'hobbies' coming up)

MrsSpoon · 12/07/2007 16:37

ROFL @ these!

He tells me he's not going to do the whole competition dehydration thing, I sincerely hope not.

LOL at there really being a house with an inspection pit in the garage, wonder if that was the result of another man's mid life crisis!

Sorry I won't be buying your 6 second abs as we have just got rid of the lateral thigh trainer and have no room for any more gear after the arrival of the leverage machine, which is, of course, huge!

OP posts:
MrsSpoon · 12/07/2007 16:38

Oh, Laurie, if your DH is taking up the guitar lessons better hope he doesn't get good at it. My DH can play quite well but at his last mid-life crisis he installed a recording studio.

OP posts:
Lauriefairycake · 12/07/2007 17:05

oh suffering fuck...............a recording studio ????!!!!!

No way, he will be relegated to shed

Leilel · 12/07/2007 17:29

FFS, i can sympathise with your exasperation. I think the whole tone of this thread is the stuff of comic genius though.

If my Idiot (soon to be-ex) hubby did anything around the house, helped with kids, got off his lazy parasite ass and did something he'd lose his lard.

He admits to 20 stone (IRL more like 27-30 st). Though as he now cant be assed to go to work any more I refuse to feed him, preferring to spend my money on feeding the kids, ..... so i guess his lard will fly off now. Dont work, dont eat! (just wants to play computer games (mainly World of Warcraft)all day and night)

MrsSpoon · 12/07/2007 18:22

I put my DH in the cellar, Laurie's is going in the shed and looks like Leilel's is getting shown the door.

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Lauriefairycake · 12/07/2007 18:23

LOL Spoon

Leati · 12/07/2007 19:57

Leilel
Have you ever heard of the phrase Computer Widow. It usually refers to someone who loses their loved one to computer games. I have a brother in law that plays that stupid game too. I think it comparable to an addictive drug, everything gets ignored but the game. BTW he doesn't work either, he left on stress leave several years ago and never went back.

It makes me incredible for my three beautiful little neices. Thier has is a pigsty, they have no money for new clothes or Christmas presents, and he sits thier and plays games. Last year, we bought the girls presents.

Leati · 12/07/2007 19:57

Leilel
Have you ever heard of the phrase Computer Widow. It usually refers to someone who loses their loved one to computer games. I have a brother in law that plays that stupid game too. I think it comparable to an addictive drug, everything gets ignored but the game. BTW he doesn't work either, he left on stress leave several years ago and never went back.

It makes me incredible for my three beautiful little neices. Thier has is a pigsty, they have no money for new clothes or Christmas presents, and he sits thier and plays games. Last year, we bought the girls presents.

Leati · 12/07/2007 19:57

Thier House is a pigsty

makemineadouble · 12/07/2007 20:04

Just caught thread

Mrs spoon sorry for your problems but really made me laugh

My dh skipped any exertion went straight to fake tan

helenhismadwife · 14/07/2007 19:03

LMAO sorry but this thread is brilliant

we have a loft groaning under the weight of dh 'hobbies' including weights, model aircraft stuff, loads of computery stuff, sailing stuff, the boat thankfully got sold,and his wardrobe is full of the essential clothing for all these hobbies!!

mrsspoon would you like me to send you a bottle of baby oil for him to make himself all shiny for his pictures

obimomkanobi · 14/07/2007 21:12

My DH always has some sort of silly project on the go. When the lottery started he was convinced that he was going to write a computer programme that would help him win...he didn't.

He then decided that he was going to write a popular science book...he didn't.

Then he had a fitness kick and he was going to become a fell runner...he didn't, he went running once (and yes he bought expensive running gear) and was laid up for several days afterwards.

Then he bought a home brew kit and was going to become a mini-brewery. The only stuff he produced was like treacle...disgusting.

Then he bought a classic car to restore...only he didn't have a clue what he was doing, so he had to sell it...at a loss...after swearing blind that this vehicle would hold it's value forever.

And we have done the guitar thing. And he downloaded a studio suite for his PC and spent weeks recording himself....

Sigh, he has nothing 'active' at the moment, but it's only a matter of time....

MrsSpoon · 19/07/2007 15:37

Just come back to this and ROFL @ obimomkanobi's DH!

Helen, I'll have to turn down the baby oil, don't want to encourage him!

A little update on this week he is still working out, which is great but has at last conceded that it would be better to eat family meals (albeit with reduced carbs, increased protein) in the evening, >phew

OP posts:
skidoodle · 19/07/2007 15:50

LMAO @ this thread, it really is comic genius.

my highlights include the inspection pit, the recording studio, the vintage car

my DH always has projects on the go but is annoying good at everything he turns his hand to and always finishes everything he starts. so he's not funny and he makes me feel lazy and crap by comparison

he's almost 40 though so perhaps one of these fine mornings he'll get up out of bed and start posing around the room. he's very skinny, so it would be priceless.

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