Blocked on Instagram by my husband!?

[Sophia0901]

Hi All,
I will try to keep this as short as possible, (cause its a long bloody story)
Basically marriage hasn't been good for the last couple of years. Not communicating properly, sex life got really bad, caught husband a couple of times guarding phone and jumping with phone in his hand when I would walk into a room.
Sooo i decided to do a little investigating. Turns out I uncovered a porn addiction. I confronted him on this he denied it at first and then went on to admit to sometimes watching porn for release.
Said he had no emotional connection to me and so didn't want sex with me because he could feel I didn't want it ? anyway.... I also discovered that although he told me he deleted Instagram 6 years ago , turns out he didn't he just blocked me! I cant find his Instagram account when I search his username but I can find him off anyone elses instagram account. he denies i'm blocked... but its plain to be seen. when I confronted him on this, his Instagram got deleted.... I feel like I cant continue in this marriage and I feel like i'm going crazy as he is telling me he didn't block me on Instagram even though I have proof!
How do I deal with this? feeling very low today!

If he has a porn addiction it's likely that he's looking at pictures, videos of the porn stars on Instagram. How long has he been going to therapy for? It's a good step if he is attending the therapy and his Instagram viewing will surely come up in the therapy too.

Look up gas lighting! My marriage ended in Jan for similar reasons. Not porn but he constantly lies, no sex life, gas lighting and he had basically cut me off emotionally. He wanted to stay together for the kids but had no interest in actually working on the marriage.
It's really hard being a single parent but it feels like a massive weight has been lifted. I felt like I was crazy because I'd show evidence of something he had lied about but he would stick to his story no matter what. I ended up with anxiety and no self confidence. I have ups and downs but on the whole I am happier.
I've never said ltb but honestly I would recommend getting out of this relationship.

Thats whats so frustrating and what drains every bit of strength out of you! The fact that you have the proof, and what my husband does is deny, deny, deny! When someone who is supposed to love you makes you question your reality? it's really bad isn't it?
You see I would class myself as a strong independant woman but he just is able to emotionally break me/blackmail me and its taking all my strength to see through it at the moment :-(

I think the answer is that you are ending it because of his constant lies. And the disrespect he shows you in persisting with them. His refusal to be honest and deal with the issues. Not because he "blocked you on Instagram ".

Massive trust breakdown.

Have you heard the saying, where there's smoke, there's fire? This is just what you've uncovered, but it's highly unlikely you'll ever know the full extent of what he is doing. Once the trust is gone, it's pretty impossible to get back. Be glad you know what he's up to now and can start making your move, he shouldn't be allowed to waste anymore of your time. Liars will keep lying and don't try to make sense out of nonsense. It's not going to happen.

If he can lie this much to your face, cry, not eat and deny the obvious and you know it then you cannot trust anything else. This normally has been an eye opener for me regarding other people. You only need one moment of complete drama and oscar winning "innocent", desparate etc performance to be proved LIES in front of your eyes to figure ought that you can never trust this person again. I am sorry this is your DH. There is nothing to argue. But from what I have read on here if all this drama fails he might then turn nasty.

Yes I would say the next step is probobly the nasty side. I feel I could be stronger if we weren't in the same house.
I've been looking everyday for somewhere to live, hopefully somewhere comes up soon! It's good to hear all posters in agreement across the board makes me feel like I'm not going mad or being unreasonable.
He makes my mind so muddled it's so frustrating and I can't believe I've been fooled for so long! I think it's going on a lot of years and I think it's only the tip of the iceberg of what's to come. Trying just to take one day at a time, absolutely dreading telling the kids 😪