I work in an academy and I have just given my resignation on Friday afternoon. I teach a shortage subject and I know for sure that they will struggle to find someone for next year. We've always been told to give a few months notice but I really CAN'T do it anymore. The job that I love is no longer bearable. My marriage was about to finish last year. I feel awful for saying that but I look after other people's children and provide them with the perfect support and knowledge, but I don't do that with my own two DDs. Because I'm always stressed, shattered and under pressure. Why would I do this to myself and to my family? They definitely deserve better.
I love my students but I no longer feel enthusiastic to see them. I hate my school. It's all about proving everything and anything. The kids are constantly given stupidly high targets. No one gives a monkey about my wellbeing. It's a competitive school with fantastic achievements, the best regionally, but with miserable staff. They made me do a lot of stupid tasks throughout the years. All in the name of "we want the best for these kids". The reality is they don't! They want fancy data and a folder full of "we tried this ... we tried that" to show to Ofsted.
I've got some amazing students which I'm really sad to leave, but I also have A LOT of rude brats whom I honestly hate! Yes I said it. I hate them. I've had enough and I'm not ready to give second chances. I've given them all and now I want to work with people who want to work or at least try.
I cry at least 3 times a week in my car after school. I'm feeling crap and I feel trapped because of the finances, mortgage, daughters' private lessons ...etc.
I felt so happy and relieved on Friday but spent this weekend feeling guilty about leaving the school in this hard time ( 1 member of staff left in Christmas and no HOD). My colleagues are jealous and I've had a lot of good luck hugs but I'm not able to enjoy it.