dh and his new nephew

[dailyfailnotwelcome]

Hi everyone,

I'm not sure if I'm being reasonable about this so I thought I would ask you lot for help.

Here goes ... I'm married with 2 kids. I desperately want another one. We tried for a third 2 years ago and I had a miscarriage. After that dh said there was no way he wanted another one. My heart was broken.

Now a couple of years later my dh's brother and wife have a new baby. I'm really happy for them, they deserve to be happy. Here's the thing .... my dh has been posting all over fb about how proud he is of his brother and the new baby is gorgeous etc etc.

Am I bu to feel this is completely insensitive to me?

Thanks

Utterly unreasonable

Yabu, sadly.

Yabu.

Well done OP for being willing to consider the responses you have received. You are obviously still grieving the baby you lost and your DH is probably struggling too. His nephew does not in any way replace your baby. It could be a good time to revisit having a third DC - he may be ready now, seeing the joy a new baby can bring. You do need to be in agreement before proceeding and it's good you respect that.

In your last update you say you know YABU, which is great self awareness. Please be kind on yourself though - I think how you're feeling is understandable.

On the day of my miscarriage with my third, the nurse breezily reminding me of my 2 wonderful DC at home just made me feel A LOT worse, not reassured.

It may be that you need to take how you're feeling as a sign to speak to someone about the miscarriage (that may not be your DH at this point).

A bereavement counsellor I know said that miscarriage grief is so often glossed over in our society. She also said that it commonly comes up for women years later, when facing other losses.

Take care op, I really feel for you.
It's really hard to talk about this stuff with all the emotions that you both feel.
So so hard.
I didn't mean to sound harsh so I apologise if I did
for you

from a mum who understands the pain of wanting another she will never have. Yes I think your being unreasonable but I get why you feel like that I feel just a little prickle of envy everytime a friend a announces a pregnancy the happiness joins it within a minute but I can't stop the pain I feel too.

I don't think you were harsh Ragnarthe. Thank you for the flowers everyone, I know I'm not the only one dealing with a loss and I am truly sorry for all of your losses.

SkippingPages your post has given me a good cry which was needed. I do feel as if my loss was glossed over, not by the hospital but by my family. I have had a moments clarity and realised that I need to see a bereavement counsellor by myself before I go to a counsellor with husband. I really am not over this. Thank you so much SkippingPages and everyone.

@tillytrotter1 what an incredibly thoughtless and unnecessary post. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Ignore her, OP. Good idea about the counselling.