To say no to socializing with in-laws with morning sickness?

[Phuquocdreams]

Absolutely exhausted and queasy in first trimester. Full-time- plus intense job and two active children. Introvert who struggles with socializing when have low energy. Dh furious because I want to stay in with the kids rather than drag them into town to meet a bunch of people for lunch. AIBU? Need quick response because need to make decisions ASAP. He’s putting the guilts on (despite going out last night despite members of his family staying here, leaving me to put kids to bed and make a (v bad) attempt to entertain the guests.)

I have been hiding myself in my bedroom for most of the weekend so think they already think me horrendously rude although hopefully they’ll understand in a few weeks.

Stay at home.

Morning (all day) sickness is awful.

First trimester tiredness is overwhelming.

Anyone who says you don't deserve a rest is a twat.

YANBU not to go, YABU not to let him take the children while you rest at home.

Don't go. Look after yourself

YABU to stay home with the kids. He takes the kids, you stay home

If you’re anything like I was in first trimester you’re the walking vomiting dead, definitely no company for dinner.
Don’t go, you don’t fell well enough and you need to rest. DH welcome to take kids with him.

He takes the kids. You stay at home. If you want to hide the pregnancy for the time being he tells them you have a bug.

In fairness chesty he took the kids yesterday, leaving me to sleep, then I went in to meet them all for dinner. Today’s thing not so child-friendly (my excuse for having to stay home to look after them. They’re having a great time just chilling here with their toys).

Who wants to go out to lunch with morning sickness? He can go out for lunch with the kids and ILs.

Do they know you have morning sickness?

I should have said I had a bug at the start of the weekend! Stupidly I blamed work for being tired on Friday and having to stay back yesterday but that excuse wearing thin now!

Just tell them you’re pregnant.

Thanks everybody! I guess it’s hard for a man to understand what first trimester feels like, but hopefully my female in-laws do so I will be forgiven in a few weeks!

No YANBU! Is he always so inconsiderate?

Bertrand, not quite ready to do that til I get the all clear.

You have your answer there - you did childcare and entertained relatives last night while feeling like crap while he did his thing. His turn today, it's only fair. And if he's hungover, even more fair - he can see what it's like doing it while feeling rough and maybe have some more bloody sympathy for you in future!

I don't understand why you feel you need 'an excuse'? You don't need an excuse, you have a 'reason'.

YANBU. Don't go. And if your DH gives you shit tell him to get a grip. Morningsickness is absolutely awful, especially when you're out at a meal with people who don't know you're pregnant. I skipped many social events and I didn't feel guilty in the slightest.

Just tell him to say that you are sick - they will probably guess that you are pregnant anyway, even if they don't say anything, and so will understand you not being there.

DH can take kids while you stay in bed surely?

No big drama DH just says you woke up feeling sick surely? Is he always this much of an arse?

I said I wasn’t going in, he sounded reasonable on the phone. So we’ll see how he is when he gets home!