Does anyone else run out of conversation after 2 - max?

[MillyCoddler]

I'm fine if I'm just meeting a friend for coffee, maybe a dog walk but any longer and I've completely emptied my conversational reserves.

In laws are visiting today. Lovely, chatty people but they stay for lunch and dinner and I'm floundering for anything to say after a while.

I envy those who can go on holiday with people other than DH and DC or have weekend long visitors and the conversation flows effortlessly.

Even with my oldest friend, I would run out of chat after an hour or so. The trick for me is to meet for lunch or just coffee at a venue eg garden centre, National Trust Property, etc, sit and catch up for a while and then walk round the said venue together. That then stimulates other things that we talk about. I think just the act of moving from inside to outside or from coffee to walking and 'viewing' helps enormously.
For me, the thing I struggle with the most would be to sit and lunch and chat for two hours plus, and not get up. Even with the people I like the most.

Eeerm no I can talk the hind legs off a donkey much to the anguish of DH who is more introverted. I do run out of conversation with some people - mainly him because I spend so much time with him anyway (but have learned the art of happy silence) but also my sister who is quite introverted as well.

Apparently my rule of thumb on a story is if in doubt tell it again I must be terribly annoying...

If I'm talking in my second language, then 2 hours is the max before I get tired. But in English, 2 hours feels like we are just getting started. I have actuslly had to teach myself to rein it in and time check to leave at an appropriate time and not outstay my welcome.

DH gets our holiday photos out and we can bore people for hours about them.

Or we just put the TV on and talk about that.

There is no conversation after 2 hours, we've just run out. Friends yes, ILs no.

I hear of people who chat about films or books or art - do you? Yes, all the time with my family - my partner, my grown kids and their partners - we're all fiercely interested and consume huge amounts of culture and talk about it and take each other to films and plays and recommend and give books and go to galleries together etc. Culture is literally a way for humanity to reflect upon and talk about itself.

We had some (not very close) friends around for dinner last night. They were here for nearly 5 hours and the conversation didn't dry up at all. We last saw them just before Christmas so I guess we had a bit of catching up to do. We mainly talked about places they/we have been to or are planning to go to and joked a couple of times that we hadn't discussed Brexit!

I guess it depends who the people are and what sort of things they do. I would find it quite difficult to chat to someone for a long time who is the type who just goes to work and back each day and has no hobbies.

OP you can go for 2 hours? That seems quite good! That's what I aspire to achieve one day.

I'm floundering for anything to say after a while.

There are a few good questions or phrases that keep the conversation flowing.

Oh so you (and pharaphrase what they say )

How's things

How do you feel about that

What do you think about that

Most people are perfectly happy to keep talking about themselves. Sometimes, it's even interesting but keeping people talking mostly needs the desire to listen and show you are listening.

Not just working out what to say next

Unless I'm really close to someone I find it really exhausting to keep the conversation going for too long. I also envy people who can chat away with anyone, it must make life much easier and more relaxed.

I am very chatty but it does vary from person to person. I find it really hard to talk to my Dad actually as he doesn’t like chit chat and we have no interests in common. Yesterday I made a new friend and talked to her for about 3 hours about our lives and past history. I can talk endlessly to friends who are similar to me - often about psychology of relationships or inane things like food or TV programmes. I always ask people about work. But sometimes I meet someone and we just don’t gel and I am completely stuck for conversation!

Do you go out, I can’t imagine just sitting in and having lunch and dinner without doing anything. We would always go for a walk, visit a NT place, watch DS play rugby (yawn) or similar to break the day up. If the weather is bad we would play board games.

But in general terms, yes I can talk to most people.

@HotChocolateLover - Remember this and you will be fine.....*
Everyone’s favourite topic is themselves

I think it depends on who you're talking to. That works with an extrovert, so as ils are chatty, should work with them. I hate being asked questions about myself and feeling like I'm being put on the spot.

If there are subjects you know they are interested in, ask about those. Topics in the news are also good (or bad, depending on viewpoints).

It's not my in laws per se. it's conversations in general.

I do find it hard one on one. And I do wonder what families who go on holiday with each other talk about for a week. I suppose if you are at that level of friendliness, you have to just sit quietly and read your book for a while like you would with your OH. I'm not sure I could do it though. When we have friends or ILs over for a meal for the afternoon, I do try to have a board game or two on hand in case they are needed.

I think it depends if you can take the conversation on to that deeper level or if it remains quite superficial. And it depends on your audience. I can go for hours on brexit but not everyone appreciates that! MIL will often mention something she's read in the Mail which DH and I usually fairly quickly contradict with evidence based arguments and we go from there!

It depends who it is. Best friend and I talk have been known to talk for 6 hours none stop. Some people are not chatty though so it's more difficult. I think it's fine to have silences though, I used to feel the need to fill them but now I just think if the other person doesn't then why should I.

I’m another one who can talk for hours! I’m just interested in people and stuff in general so I’ll ask questions, contribute with what I know and so on.
I talk about books and art but only if there’s something really interesting going on currently or it’s about particular books we’ve all read. Nothing more tedious than droning on about something that the other people don’t really know about.
Same with films.
I listen to the radio a lot and read the news sites so I know what’s going on in the world.
With my in laws, they’re so interested in the dcs that I even tell them what hw they’re doing and where I’ve recently taken them because they want to know.

No problem with my in-laws as PIL loves to talk about himself...

Also everyone is different - I can chat with most people if forced to but am by nature not chatty. DH finds it torturous to have to chat with strangers and avoids it at all costs!

Well I read the thread title as 2 minutes and thought "yep pretty much" so I think you're doing well managing 2 hours

Lost5stone yep exactly

I've been pondering your replies. Some of you are talking about chit chat which I'm actually quite adapt at - esp asking questions and listening.

I wish I had more (without wishing to sound wanky) conversations

Yeah, I'm done after a while tbh.

2 hours would be a long time for me. If I know I have to talk to people (e.g. business dinner) then I prepare a list of conversation topics!

I have a friend with a good memory so when she meets someone she can say how x go, are you over yourcold, how is your mother now etcetc.
Someone could have told me some dramatic event in their lives but the next time I see them it will have gone from my mind. This makes it harder for me to have decent conversations.

How did x go