To lose my shit alllll the time with DD(10)?

[Dollygirl2008]

I mean - I seem to literally be on her case allll the time - I'm sick of the sound of my own voice nagging - I'm turning into my mother

But I'm sick of constantly picking up after her, clearing up, putting away, making her bed - just to get it done. However, the last few weeks I've thought "sod it" - i work very long hours and am a single parent - she needs to do these things for herself, but how can they just walk over a pair of shoes, not bring cups down, leave toothpaste all over the sink, not get bags ready for school!! It's driving me mad!!!!!!!

Tell me that it suddenly clicks, and that they suddenly start "thinking"!!!?? Please....?

It does sink in eventually. As others have said, keep calm and don't raise your voice. But make sure not doing stuff has consequences. So, for example, my DD(11) has to empty her lunchbox Tupperware into the sink every day after school. If she does I wash it. If she doesn't, she has to wash it, usually just when she wants to sit down and watch TV.

Positive strokes.
Pick your battles.- it dosn't matter if she makes her bed or not.
Encourage her to enjoy her living space, have a fun time heloing her organise her room.

Respect can't be demanded- it work both ways.

Work on enjoying each other's company.

I have a 9&10 year old. They know that clothes need to go in the wash, that lunch boxes need to be taken out of bags and emptied before their dad has washed up - or they do it themselves. They know that yogurt pots and glasses need to be taken to the kitchen or they'll get reminded until they do.
They don't bother making their beds.."it's more comfy that way". I do flatten out their duvet if I'm in their rooms, it takes one second and it's more my issue than theirs.

They get £2 a week on the proviso that they help out when they asked, within reason. So emptying the dishwasher a couple of times a week, setting the table, hoovering their own mess out of the back seat of the car. I've withheld it before... and it helped.

Also, like everyone, they have their favourite jobs. So ds loves hoovering and cooking. Dd likes helpting me hang the washing. So I monopolise this. It's the same for dp and I... I do all the ironing, he does the gardening and bins.