Ex threatening to badmouth me to our son

[Badidas5]

Our son is 5 months old. Ex was quite severely emotionally abusive. Financially too. I'll link my previous thread below.

I've not contacted him for a few days as per advice from my solicitor, women's aid and cafcass. He's been making vague threats, which upset me but I don't truly believe them.

AIBU to be furious that he's now threatened to tell our son how he did nothing wrong and that I was 'a pathetic excuse of a mother' because I put my son's 'nonsense routine' above the need for him to see his dad?

I know I'm not BU but I'm sat here in tears because of this mess and don't know what to do anymore. Why he thinks it's appropriate for me to drive and sit with him on my own in his house whilst he's treating me like this is beyond me.

I am falling apart and could use advice. Scared the courts won't see him for what he is. Sorry for posting numerous times. MN is getting me through.

Keep the messages and contact the police. It's harassment.

I don't think the police will be interested in messages received from someone I'm ignoring

The BEST thing you can do is to keep on doing what you’re doing.

Don’t reply, don’t engage and go completely no contact with him

If he does call the police, you can explain the situation to them and it will be HIM who looks bad, not you. If he calls the police like this on more than one occasion, they will see HIM for who he is and HE will be the one in trouble.

So let him call them, it’ll hurt him more than it hurts you! It may even mean that the police can do things to stop him abusing you

Your son won’t benefit from having this man in his life, cut the abusive twat out now and live your life happily and free.

It is to your advantage to let him call the police as the more his harassment involves using a third party the easier it is you to get evidence to get a non-molestation order against him.

If you get such an order then you can ask for communication/handovers via a third party if one is available. If not then you can ask for handovers at a neutral location not either of your home's, and email only communication.

Btw my male partner manage to get one against his female ex.

This is where you're wrong OP. The police WILL be interested in hearing the harassment from this man.

You might be ignoring the messages but they are still designed to harass and control you. I would do as others have suggested, and speak to the police about harassment and see if there is anything they can do for you. Also keep copies of every single thing he sends you. Finally consider getting a cheap new phone, give him the number, and block him on your existing phone, and on all social media etc. You only need to switch the new phone on when you feel capable of managing his shit, or if you need to speak to him, rather than him intruding constantly. Google the grey rock technique, it will give you some tips for blocking his bullshit out of your life.

Harrasment is an offence op. Police will be very interested. Parental alienation is an offence. A judge will be very interested.
You are also entitled to enjoy your dc without threat or fear.
Keep a diary. .
Cafcass will be very interested in how your ex is behaving.

Trust your instincts.

I remember your other thread. OP stay strong and don’t engage, once he realises he can’t use your son to control you he will likely lose interest and hopefully you will never hear from him again.

Let him threaten all he wants. It will only work if you give it attention. When your child is old enough they will see for themselves what their dad is like and he will only sink himself.

If you ignore them and he continues it's harassment.

Look up a non mol order. Sounds like you're a perfect candidate for one- you can apply through the court and represent yourself and it doesn't cost much, but will make a big difference to your situation. I've been where tou are and come out the other side- you will too. I would prepare yourself for a call from social services, because that's his next logical step, but they're wise to this nonsense!