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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To stop and let my child do a wee in a lay by?

74 replies

Treegle · 23/03/2019 16:58

On the way home earlier my DC was desperate for the toilet and so I stopped in a lay by and let them wee there. MIL said I should have carried in until there was a toilet or wait to get home. I knew the route and it would have been at least 20 minutes before there was anywhere where there would have actually been a toilet and was v worried I would get a soaking wet car!!

Was it so terrible of my to let them wee in the lay by? Would you/have you done this??

OP posts:

Original poster

Treegle · 23/03/2019 17:29

@Tucobenedicto I mean that she's not recently out of nappies - she was potty trained at 2.5

OP posts:

Original poster

Treegle · 23/03/2019 17:30

Ok glad to hear I'm not the lazy disgusting mother that MIL had me believe. Sometimes I question myself!

OP posts:

DobbyTheHouseElk · 23/03/2019 17:30

Everyone does it. Where else do you go?

TwoRoundabouts · 23/03/2019 17:31

Your MIL is weird.

Did you question her on why it was not acceptable for a 5/6 year old girl but fine for a boy?

PurpleCrowbar · 23/03/2019 17:32

Firstly, it's absolutely fine.

Secondly, MIL disapproves - don't worry about that or you have years of this to come. Just don't get into arguments about it with her! Not her circus...

shatteredandstressed · 23/03/2019 17:32

Your MIL is odd.

SnuggyBuggy · 23/03/2019 17:35

Like your MIL has never had to use a bush

hidinginthenightgarden · 23/03/2019 17:37

Did this about 30 mins ago with my toddler. She has been potty trained about a year but she can't hold it longer than 20 mins and was getting pretty upset.

yolofish · 23/03/2019 17:38

My mother always used to say that a penis is a handy thing to have on a picnic... DD1 needed a wee while we were stuck in massive traffic, I made DH pull onto the verge - nowhere else to go - wee completed, all calm again - and then we got stuck in the mud and had to get the AA out! Ah, the joys of family days out...

Dieu · 23/03/2019 17:38

Totally fine!

Mummyoflittledragon · 23/03/2019 17:39

She said would have been ok if she was a boy
The 1950’s are calling you mil. They want you back.

Did she really say you were a lazy disgusting mother? Or was that how you felt?

thedisorganisedmum · 23/03/2019 17:39

When you need to go, you need to go, can't see the problem at all.

I still have a travel potty in the car in case one of mine was desperate for a number 2, because that would be gross, but a wee? As long as you don't stop on a roundabout or hard shoulder, why wouldn't you.

winsinbin · 23/03/2019 17:42

When I was heavily pregnant with DC1 we were stuck in a massive tailback on the M25. Bad enough that people had turned their engines off and were walking around. I had to wee on the central reservation and to make it worse I was wearing an all in one jumpsuit style outfit which unbuttoned down the front. Luckily it was dark and I was able to semi hide behind the open car door while DH stood behind me holding his jacket to screen me. I don’t think these tactics actually shielded me but i was desperate and it felt like a gesture towards decency. So yes, your MIL is being U.

Boysey45 · 23/03/2019 17:53

Mil is being silly.
I've seen people holding little kids over grates to wee and poo in town!. Everyone has had to have a wee outside at one point.

NutElla5x · 23/03/2019 17:55

I remember when I was about 18 and I got the wrong bus home after having one too many lagers in town. After the last person got off at the terminal near this field I asked the driver if he'd wait while I went for a wee and then drop me home and he did Embarrassing but when you gotta go you gotta go!

thefirst48 · 23/03/2019 17:56

I pulled into a car park for my young DD to have a wee behind the car yesterday.

Soubriquet · 23/03/2019 17:56

You gotta go you gotta go!!

Even I would wee by the side of the road if I really couldn’t hold it anymore. Especially if traffic was coming up

Eddie16 · 23/03/2019 17:57

My 3 year old has done this and probably will for a while. It doesn't bother me but my mil would be a bit po faced about an al fresco wee. Kids have to go and sometimes at the most inconvient times,if you had been 5 mins from home then that's a bit different but if she was about to wee herself,then it's not a bad thing weeing in a lay by. What's worse though is scrubbing a car seat of wee,that's bad.

Alsohuman · 23/03/2019 17:57

Your mil clearly has the bladder of a camel, OP. I envy her because I’ve needed many an alfresco wee.

FriarTuck · 23/03/2019 17:59

I'd be asking precisely why it would be more acceptable for a little boy rather than a little girl
Well it's far less obvious to everyone else if it's a boy - it's not a sexist thing, it's a what's-acceptable-to-do-in-public thing. If you can't tell someone's doing it it's acceptable, if you can then maybe it's not.

YesQueen · 23/03/2019 18:04

I'm 34 and had to abandon my horse once mid ride for a wee. In the middle of nowhere luckily, we had been out for 3hrs and I was desperate. Horse helped by trying to knock me over with her head

lablablab · 23/03/2019 18:04

Oh for goodness sake... your mil is an idiot. Your poor dd is only 5! Bless her.

My friend went in a lay-by once when we were stuck in heavy traffic and she was 27! If you're desperate, you're desperate!

Ignore, you did the right thing.

viques · 23/03/2019 18:12

I imagine that more people have had an alfresco wee than haven't! When I was little we went for a family walk in Epping Forest, I nipped behind a tree for a wee and found a two shilling piece (10p) it was the equivalent of two weeks pocket money so I was well chuffed.

On reflection is was probably dropped by someone else doing the same thing, but germs were different in them days.....

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 23/03/2019 18:27

I'd wager that plenty of people who are a 'little' older than 5 routinely pull over the lorries that they're driving and have a wee in a lay-by.

Well it's far less obvious to everyone else if it's a boy - it's not a sexist thing, it's a what's-acceptable-to-do-in-public thing. If you can't tell someone's doing it it's acceptable, if you can then maybe it's not.

The main reason why men are much more likely to have a wee in public is that they're biologically able to cover their genitals with their hands and do so much more discreetly than a woman can (and just shake off the excess without needing any paper or risking getting it everywhere). A woman would have to expose herself much more and would thus feel very undignified doing so unless she was absolutely bursting and could be certain that nobody would see. I'm not saying that she SHOULD feel that way, but this is the reality.

We're talking about a 5yo here. Children of that age neither understand nor care about the concept of dignity - and no right-thinking adult would hold them to such adult standards. If a young child needs a wee, pull over safely and just let him or her wee.

LeSquigh · 23/03/2019 18:29

Of course YANBU! I thought everyone did this. We certainly do. Adults as well as children if desperate!

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