I'm confused and could do with some other views on this. My husband came home from work this evening and we sat on the sofa having a general chat about our day, the weekend, just normal stuff. All seemed fine, he seemed fairly relaxed for a Friday night (he works long hours in a stressful job and is frequently very tired at the end of the week). He then took the dog for a walk, I stayed on the sofa watching some telly. When he came back from taking the dog out, he came in the living room and seemed quite upset / annoyed; he began to tell me that I had done something earlier during our chat that had been upsetting to him, apparently I had asked his opinion on something and when he gave me his opinion, I disagreed with it. He can’t remember what it was, but he was pretty annoyed / upset about it, enough to come back and tell me that this was something I’ve done at other points over the seven years we’ve been together and I should consider changing my behaviour and stop doing it. I asked him to please tell me what the conversation had been about because I have absolutely zero idea what he is referring to, we were just having vague chats on the settee and nothing struck me as contentious so this is a bit of a mystery to me. He says he can’t remember so he can’t tell me. I am not sure how I am supposed to have a reasonable and fair discussion with him if I don’t know what we are discussing, but he says the specifics don’t matter, that I’m aware of my behaviours from other times so we can discuss it as an abstract. I explain that there have been times in the past where I do recognise this pattern of interaction between us, but that from my perspective, some of these have been a case of him getting annoyed because he doesn’t like being disagreed with. He says this is trite, and that he feels like I deliberately set him up by asking his opinion on things so that I can tell him that he’s wrong. This all went on for a while; it turned into a bit of a row and he’s gone up to bed. I feel super upset and confused myself now. I can’t understand how we can have a conversation about an incident if he can’t tell me what the incident was, that seems a bit weird to me – like how can I understand what might of happened or put forward my own perspective if I don’t know what happened? He feels that I’m being defensive and trying to avoid the issue by wanting to know what the actual thing was that has upset him. I feel kind of weirdly manipulated, but maybe I am in the wrong here? Do I just need to let him tell me that I upset him and accept that and apologise and promise to try and change my behaviour in future? Not really sure what to think. I am now dreading the weekend. There will probably be silent treatment – I tend to be the ‘let’s sort it out straight away and not go to bed angry’ type and he’s more likely to be pissed off/hurt/upset for a couple of days. Any thoughts would be great, sorry if this is too long – I’ve never posted anything like this before so a bit nervous. Not to give too much history but I come from a difficult family background so have always tended to assume everything bad is my fault, been in therapy for a couple of years now though so am getting better at not doing that (but don’t think I’m always blameless either!). Thanks.